and fewer of them - but in the days before the trees were taken down i would have my lunchbreak outside and listen to the starling commotion in 1-2 of the (non-dried!!) trees
they took down the whole row of 6-7 trees nearby my work even though only a couple of them had dried up. i miss the row of trees - was so nice to hear the birds chattering in em while having outdoor-lunchbreaks, have to strain my ears more to hear them from further away now
latest research indicates guys are also capable of generating good brainfeel
locational selective-recall happy moment from one time: went to the fast food place nearest to my work after the workday, lingered a bit, used a different exit from the one i usually do and unexpectedly encountered my bestie and their mom who'd come to the grocery store there
wow - i looked at past dm-s with a friend-confidant in the era of my 2021 dream-catalysed crush, crazy amount of lore, and i was struggling a lot with it for reasons i won't get into in semipublic
feelings rollercoaster vs nice smooth feelings sidewalk to cruise upon with unmotorized wheeled contraption of choice to nice tunes
having moved out since has really helped too - 2021 me would be so happy for current me
lmao i stumbled upon myself once referring to a cupboard as a "thingable place"
floor-is-lava-ing / hot-potato-ing oneself off of some chat platform or other for a slight bit w/ mildly nervewracking text-sendings. rare occasion for me but, an occasion still
if you wanna know who your real ones are leave tp and see who texts you "whered you go"
crossposting elaborating on the rough sweater / soft blanket
sweater... u just either mf put it on. or mf take it off. or tie around someplace on u. cant have a sweater Partially On. but can have blanket on on various levels ... or kick it off ... or have it end up in ur hand and go like yea sure i could put it on i could use some warmth/softness ..... dont know if this even makes sense To You and also its nearly 5am and i spent a couple of hours on my sites latest silly notebook post (and particular-event reminisces for the site) i have got to go to bed
and a friend of mine saying this at my 2021 xperience
the good thing really is that to revel in the warmth of the connection alone ... is enough
self-crosspost
rough wool sweater (2021 dream-catalysed crush xperience) vs soft wool blanket (the current one)...
whether 1am sleepy is a wise time and state to do it in is another question but feel really inclined inspired to rn
want to compile some stuff ive yapped in the past couple days into a sitepost
off a rather old tumblr post, of a cat pic with superimposed snips of little personality questions with answers the way a cat would answer:
The most private thing I'm willing to admit
iwill climb on top of you in the night and settle like a tiny rain cloud
the whole thing is really great actually, might put it in realm scrapbook or whatever, but just... this bit
seen a heart scribbled onto one of the stripes of a zebra crossing omw to the grocery store. this is what life is about
itll still be fun, what with the.. (waves vaguely at thoughts)
hope he plays his rmx of kaskade one hearrrttt i wanna dance 2 that shit but only time ive heard him play it irl i was too sat down (at kwia)
also: the oli-in-the-lineup thing gonna actually be oli dj lol the mfs got it wrong somehow - but he said Maybe He Will Make It Live - i suggested maybe hybrid 😈 dj with dashes of live ..
happy moment yesterday: made oatmeal when bestie visited, nailed the texture of it well enough for them to like it (and they said its easy for oatmeal texture to get fucked up when others make it)
okay well thats enough fucking event plans for real
- sept 27 - evian christ, exploited body, a couple others in helsinki
- oct 31 - lorenzo senni, moa pillar, a couple others in bristol
- nov 1 - lonitseera in tallinn
- nov 15 - warp happening in london with a whole load including oli xl (live!!!!!), iglooghost, loraine james, opn, etc etc...
- nov 16 - james k in warsaw (just cos i was a lil salty im at the warp happening same day she's in tallinn!!)
feeling more like a person again (partly locked in on another event abroad with really bangin lineup INCLUDING OLI XL (LIVE!!))
feel like an animal cosplaying a human being lately in a "this (being at work, retail job; bullshit i keep hearing from the radio news; compulsive checking of online shit) feels so unnatural" kind of way. just want to lounge in the sun, alone or with someone else
ok:
grocery [sour cream and bread], cook bunch of pelmeni enough for leftovers, put away the clutter it's tiring to see, go outside after all that soak in the evening sun
nothin new on this green earth and yet some part of my brain insists for new shit and stupid online spirals instead of slow caring selfmaintenance
ur very cute and very far away please come be cute closer to me
-relatable post from the wild
sometimes this warmth that feels like cartoon smile not being in my head but in my heart
sneek you gotta go for it
you'll bounce back from any bad outcomes
yr bouncy
-someone at my yearny ass
the smilepage is the part of my site i visit the most. and it's especially cute with the little heartprint-upon-click/tap script and custom video controls, combined. see the one bit on the progressbar (round when the vox come in in the song) being proliferated w the lil hearts? :,]
i might lift the video embed out from the first-year round on the page sometime... not a high priority right now, but something to think about still.
like - literally, so much of what i find myself in is either made up or conditioned
play silly games (dress recognizably), win silly prizes (actually be recognized)
thinking about the end of an exchange i saw once (related to josm)
I really don’t care , sorry
That's okay. Not every hill is one to die on.
not every hill is one to die on.
that there are grand majestic natural features out in the world that seem to be widely recognised as beautiful does not make gentle snowfall on a quiet cold winter night any less so
as per some1 else on the thoughtspage 'ring:
im really glad i found this site and did my best to keep posting semi often cuz at first it was about me being sick of my poor memory but unable to journal like a normal person. thank you wesley youre really cool and i wish i could afford to pay. thoughts dot page has been so helpful to me for like the last 3(??) years. anyway
real as fuck + shoutout wesley for real for maintaining this lil thing + i do pay cos im currently able to :p
backing off & letting the magic work itself for some areas -- getting hands-on & bringing the effort necessary for other areas
make sure you bring some water and an object of comfort
-friend's advice for packing
i think at the core of all this i just want to fully be a benevolent weirdo in peace in my day-to-day at least someplace without being questioned and judged for it.
remember not to think hard about people who didn't think at all
incorporating this in2 my world view Right Now in conscious form
a friend went like "im a staunch proponent of literally ignoring every celebrity" in some chat a while back and ive increasingly become aligned to that shit too
sometimes i don't know what to do with all this feeling, in this particular case
it lives its own life, and i've gone off about it a lot, but still, still
deeply grateful
feels like home
my body a dream for some people (to be like / to touch against) -- and at the same time, it simply is