last month, walking past one of the spots in town where xmas trees were sold, i faintly felt the smell of them and it took me back
anyway i should bar myself from Posting and Messaging and anysuch after like 11pm or some shit and just go to bed, or ill be much more likely to come across all sad-sack
but tbf its fine to be Sad. but sometimes got to actually take care of myself
i like that youre contributing things that really show the connectedness of the world
-a friend some time back, re how i folded the origami swan (not crane) for evian christ (to give at tp:frontier) from a post-it note a customer at work had left behind, of an ingredient list for pickles in adjika sauce
i dont want to sound needy but im probably sounding needy. on top of this general loneliness of recent. dont want to sound needy in general either but, i guess im needy. i cant trust my mind this late
i know it's no use to, and can't get things back to how they used to be, but i still do
sc sifted backlog: 63 tracks, 72h 34min
(with some stuff now sifted over from unsifted backlog)
never underestimate the uplifting power of getting something lovely to look forward to into ur plans
i'll probs stay awake for some while more tonight anyway, been tuned to nts radio pretty much all day today, and spotted very serendipitously that felix lee's show is on at 1am my time...
what if selecting everything with cmd+a didn't just select the contents of the current text field but selected your entire computer
and if you absent mindedly delete it your computer just crashes
that would be fucked up
fucks sake and i started shaking my head on occasion like ive seen you do. i dont like any of this
this, as in, the being bitten in the ass starkly from one more side all of a sudden and not feeling so secure on the employment front anymore. and honestly wasnt feeling 100% on that already anyway after some bits of last year
no matter how much i might textually cry about it all, its still on me to handle how i feel and find optimal ways to get thru it all. thanks
every time i encounter EC in some acronym, i earnestly let part of my mind very confidently read that as evian christ
sc sifted backlog: 78 things, 88h 28min
a few things have materialized in the non-sifted backlog as well - will see about those sometime
re: ruminating on losses in particular... i guess some of it might be some part of me trying to figure out what went wrong, or something. but again can't fully control interpersonal stuff can you
some part of me still misses you(r presence), even with the mutual distance need
from november 5: what if some part of me sometimes ruminates on smallest details cos that part of me sometimes been oblivious to smallest details which would have hinted to things eventually figuratively blowing up in my face in painful ways
fucking dumbass. i'd tell myself 'do yourself a favour and never fall in love with a friend ever again' but can't quite control most of this stuff - only my own actions... pure of heart dumb of ass!!!!!!!