forever just another day

hi i also exist here / currently displaying the latest 50 thoughts from newest, and a few prior thoughts

summer '25 status: ebb & flow

specifics on my templating (as plain txt file) - yet to include the "pinned" prior thoughts bit or whitespace control stuff

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post / delete / edit


* Fri, Jul 18 '25 ~ 23:15 lfm

next opponent: gnomes in my brain
(theyre very tired they need some gentle care)

* Fri, Jul 18 '25 ~ 14:17 lfm

weight of the world

* Thu, Jul 17 '25 ~ 14:55 lfm

++hp

* Thu, Jul 17 '25 ~ 11:59 lfm

lovely butterfly at the least

* Thu, Jul 17 '25 ~ 11:58 lfm

some bullshit

* Thu, Jul 17 '25 ~ 11:08 lfm

lookin' on; found an ok cap 2ndhand we rollin; time to soak in sun

* Wed, Jul 16 '25 ~ 23:24 lfm

an online friend (n fellow mf in staffteam in rather large server) to me the other day fwiw :,) :

Just a quick shout-out to you for always being comfortable to be around, that doesn't go without saying. Appreciate u

* Wed, Jul 16 '25 ~ 23:04 lfm

tmrw - keep it simple

breakfast, morning errand 10:30am. be honest.

weather forecasts nice i might just soak in the sun...

bestie wants to drop by this or next week, they told me today - some spiritslifting. floorstuff into box or in their according places. sweep floor...

cook for lunchhh... fish fingers most likely option. chop the dill, mix it in some saucestuff.

lettuce battle royale doesnt feel worth it i might just chuck that whole thing n wash the pot for later use. maybe drop by parentgarden for some nicer lettuce from em... and mint leaves.

keep it simple.

* Wed, Jul 16 '25 ~ 23:00 lfm

today...

fill out form, take in. done...better later than never i guess. whatever

cook smth tmrw

clean up a bit... this can wait a bit. did manage to clean up the lobby carpet thing. whatever

options none i was so slow. did go on a walk..

did delete some bookmarks..how would it be to let go of more. i dont have to be an archivist it feels like a burden

dinner (tortilla chips ft carrot) done

kittyvisit done; just fingernails cut... hair unwashed but whatever it's still presentable after some brushing

bedtime... cereal breakfast tmrw. then this thing tmrw morn that was supposed to be tues afternoon. even w my stupid brainsludge form

* Wed, Jul 16 '25 ~ 13:59 lfm

today

breakfast (cereal) slept thru

head to some shops 2ndhand or otherwise? dunno if i can bother but there's still some time
print out that form uve been meaning to done, fill out, take in

lunch (leftover pasta); put sauce into some to-go box done; will prolly cook smth laterrr..

floor stuff into box and pack granny square blanket into one bag... write down work sched for next week onward. maybe physically n stick onto fridge...

my mind been stuck in some sludge. one [undetermined] away from [undetermined] or something. got to be careful, got to take care, got to be patient. microdosing breakdowns by deleting stuff (decimated my animal crossing pocket camp save data yesterday, hadn't opened it for a couple of months, feels meaningless)

* Wed, Jul 16 '25 ~ 01:33 lfm

ideadump tucked away

csmile insp plush thoughts

colour scheme def dark navyish blue primary & mellow sorta yellow star highlights n that. maybe bits of lighter blue and some sorta orange. softer fleece material preferable. not sure of what sort of being but maybe some sort of long floppy ear entity. large enough for comfortable hug.

for embedded csmile buddhamachine type loop playing:
i guess would have to go for smth esp32 based. preferably some sort of simple use battery module (dunno if rechargeable or otherwise) and audio playing module. a short maybe 5led string light complement would be cute, or if not then at least one led for status purposes. not entirely sure yet how to embed all that in the plush w/o some 3d printed box. control option: buttons, nfc tag stuff, or both. maybe buttons for simplicitys sake. i got some bunch of stuff bookmarked either way.

can peruse nfc tags for other shenanigans (embed smilepage into lightup wing :p)

bug wings (sewn) for hat deco

wire for enforcement for sure. two-wing setup maybe. would need some sort of mesh-y cloth, at least a bit. iridescent effect would be cool but would need to think about how to achieve. glitter...?

diy cap

start from the cap bit (yellow fabric; trace, cut, sew). fuck around for the rest (sew or crochet or both). dangling bits from the cap bit would be cute. rubber band for backing maybe.


tomorrow...

breakfast (cereal)

head to some shops 2ndhand or otherwise? look for a new cap in case i cba diy. print out that form uve been meaning to, fill out, take in.

lunch (leftover pasta); put sauce into some to-go box; generate some leftovers - pelmeni or fish fingers

clean up a bit... put some stuff from floor into miscs box. put away granny square blanket mats for now

options: trace fabric for diy cap / mesh crochet experiment / sort thru yarn

bookmarks can wait
file sorting can wait
games can wait

dinner (tortilla chips ft carrot, unless)

kittyvisit; cut nails, wash hair

try wind down earlier... wake earlier, cereal brekky

* Tue, Jul 15 '25 ~ 16:48 lfm

got to go to grocery store

* Tue, Jul 15 '25 ~ 13:49 lfm

or i could go to the library about it...

* Tue, Jul 15 '25 ~ 11:08 lfm

maybe ill take an evening town bus round about it later today...

* Tue, Jul 15 '25 ~ 11:04 lfm

flailing thru empty sludge

* Mon, Jul 14 '25 ~ 06:02 lfm

stupid pent up energy allnighter

* Sat, Jul 12 '25 ~ 21:46 lfm

kittycircuit findings

but both were hangin out in their respective yards

* Sat, Jul 12 '25 ~ 21:06 lfm

windows open...linden trees in bloom outside...smells good

* Sat, Jul 12 '25 ~ 15:19 lfm

lock in

* Sat, Jul 12 '25 ~ 03:56 lfm

shy full moon

* Fri, Jul 11 '25 ~ 23:36 lfm

slightly ridiculous turn of events

* Thu, Jul 10 '25 ~ 18:44 lfm

in the past week or so while i was away, a little spider spawned in the corner of one of my windows.

* Wed, Jul 09 '25 ~ 19:06 lfm

roadside cow and some further away :-)

* Tue, Jul 08 '25 ~ 10:49 (CEST) lfm

railside cows :-)

* Mon, Jul 07 '25 ~ 19:24 (CEST) lfm

this has been sneek trip log

* Mon, Jul 07 '25 ~ 19:24 (CEST) lfm

though w/ the bumping the trip earlier ill ideally have more time in warsaw! more time for more food acquisition... (and small things of soplica lmao)

* Mon, Jul 07 '25 ~ 19:23 (CEST) lfm

also snackies for transit, unless i already crack into the smaller pack of pan di stelle i intended as a gift for a friend living not far off but they're feeling too unwell today to meet so :,) ill send healing vibes as i crack into it unless i get other snackies

(tho i do have some pistachios aswell)

* Mon, Jul 07 '25 ~ 19:21 (CEST) lfm

ill gather the first-day-of-period-debuffed strength to haul myself to toilet, then to nearest grocery store for something to cook, then cook sth, then maybe just sort of. go to bed and Rest

then 7:45am train out (bumped it earlier to allow for bus replacement service bullshit chaos margin potential for the middle bit of trip)

* Mon, Jul 07 '25 ~ 19:16 (CEST) lfm

the beds in this hostel room are so nice and wide

also someone has maybe a wifi hotspot named "hella good" lol

* Mon, Jul 07 '25 ~ 18:49 (CEST) lfm

toilet flushing noise as i delete 74 emails no longer necessary

* Mon, Jul 07 '25 ~ 09:48 (CEST) lfm

side quest: write to fest email about a couple of lost things, sometime soon (maybe once on reliable internet)

* Mon, Jul 07 '25 ~ 09:47 (CEST) lfm

call this shit a full stop the way its a punctual bitch

* Sun, Jul 06 '25 ~ 12:52 (CEST) lfm

once i get home (next wednesday evening) i'll probably proceed thus...

wed eve: unpack, laundry, kittyvisit, groceries, big fuckoff sleep

thurs: just do fuck-all and play idk mario kart or animal crossing or somesuch all day (ft food). and go thru all my trip pics+vids n sort em out

* Thu, Jul 03 '25 ~ 18:33 (CEST) lfm

omw to town from airport. seen a flock of parrots flying :-o

* Thu, Jul 03 '25 ~ 10:38 (EEST) lfm

bus brakes sharply & suddenly, the overhead luggage slides forward a good distance

* Thu, Jul 03 '25 ~ 08:12 lfm

quest: take out some cash before going out of country

* Thu, Jul 03 '25 ~ 07:14 lfm

kittycircuit spanning one brisk block of standalone houses then - late summer evening seems to be the optimal time for maximal kitty

and i declare the polybean tuxes classic cos iirc i first saw one of them in 2017!

* Thu, Jul 03 '25 ~ 07:10 lfm

and then the 2 classic tux kitties probably both polydactyl who aren't too long ways off kittycircuit

theyre all loosely associated w some house or other so at least some of them probably already neutered/spayed

say what one may about outdoor roaming cats being an ecological threat, still brings me joy to see these mfs

* Thu, Jul 03 '25 ~ 07:07 lfm

kittycircuit walks' sightings

* Thu, Jul 03 '25 ~ 07:01 lfm

paying attention to radio segment idents

* Wed, Jul 02 '25 ~ 23:56 lfm

miniorchid status: 28 spent, 3 up

* Wed, Jul 02 '25 ~ 13:54 lfm

"mõni koer võib lausa kolhoosi esitraktoriks pretendeerida" lmaooo

* Mon, Jun 30 '25 ~ 22:32 lfm

blushing sunset

* Mon, Jun 30 '25 ~ 17:43 lfm

what hills am i even willing to die on

* Sun, Jun 29 '25 ~ 21:27 lfm

miniorchid status: 27 spent, 1 + 3 up

* Sat, Jun 28 '25 ~ 21:33 lfm

some shit literally won't matter in a year

* Sat, Jun 28 '25 ~ 15:16 lfm

Don’t shame yourself for things you’d find endearing in others.

-here's your permission slip

* Sat, Jun 28 '25 ~ 13:36 lfm

[oli xl voice] its saturday, today,

(from intro of one of the rinse fm mixes)

*surprisingly many words are unsafe from oli-association in my brain. and/or surprisingly few

* Sat, Jun 28 '25 ~ 12:26 lfm

in my dreams i was swimming

* Sat, Jun 28 '25 ~ 03:57 lfm

been up all nite...so as logical conclusion i go and have a shower

* Tue, Apr 15 '25 ~ 22:31 📍 lfm

horizontal phone screenshot from my webpage dedicated to cartoon smile by oli xl, with a bunch of tiny translucent heartprints atop the song's embedded video, of oli walking round a field

the smilepage is the part of my site i visit the most. and it's especially cute with the little heartprint-upon-click/tap script and custom video controls, combined. see the one bit on the progressbar (round when the vox come in in the song) being proliferated w the lil hearts? :,]

i might lift the video embed out from the first-year round on the page sometime... not a high priority right now, but something to think about still.

* Thu, Apr 10 '25 ~ 20:21 📍 lfm

concept: lil sculpted painted stars as magnets

* Wed, Apr 09 '25 ~ 01:35 📍 lfm

like - literally, so much of what i find myself in is either made up or conditioned

* Thu, Apr 03 '25 ~ 22:35 📍 lfm

play silly games (dress recognizably), win silly prizes (actually be recognized)

* Wed, Apr 02 '25 ~ 19:53 📍 lfm

thinking about the end of an exchange i saw once (related to josm)

I really don’t care , sorry

That's okay. Not every hill is one to die on.

not every hill is one to die on.

* Tue, Mar 25 '25 ~ 18:14 📍 lfm

what a gift to live and experience

* Thu, Mar 13 '25 ~ 02:14 📍 lfm

curiosity as guide

* Fri, Feb 21 '25 ~ 23:55 📍 lfm

you have a body

okay i lowkey needed the reminder actually

* Mon, Feb 17 '25 ~ 01:38 📍 lfm

that there are grand majestic natural features out in the world that seem to be widely recognised as beautiful does not make gentle snowfall on a quiet cold winter night any less so

* Mon, Feb 17 '25 ~ 00:57 📍 lfm

i can move slow and still be loved

* Wed, Jan 29 '25 ~ 06:40 📍 lfm

as per some1 else on the thoughtspage 'ring:

im really glad i found this site and did my best to keep posting semi often cuz at first it was about me being sick of my poor memory but unable to journal like a normal person. thank you wesley youre really cool and i wish i could afford to pay. thoughts dot page has been so helpful to me for like the last 3(??) years. anyway

real as fuck + shoutout wesley for real for maintaining this lil thing + i do pay cos im currently able to :p

* Fri, Jan 17 '25 ~ 19:02 📍 lfm

learn to take up space in your own life

* Wed, Jan 01 '25 ~ 02:41 📍 lfm

backing off & letting the magic work itself for some areas -- getting hands-on & bringing the effort necessary for other areas

* Mon, Dec 30 '24 ~ 22:10 📍 lfm

make sure you bring some water and an object of comfort

-friend's advice for packing

* Sat, Dec 07 '24 ~ 01:26 📍 lfm

i think at the core of all this i just want to fully be a benevolent weirdo in peace in my day-to-day at least someplace without being questioned and judged for it.

* Sun, Nov 03 '24 ~ 18:15 📍 lfm

remember not to think hard about people who didn't think at all

incorporating this in2 my world view Right Now in conscious form

* Sat, Nov 02 '24 ~ 15:06 📍 (CET) lfm

knuckle tat idea (purely hypothetical):

typo slop

* Tue, Oct 08 '24 ~ 10:37 📍 lfm

a friend went like "im a staunch proponent of literally ignoring every celebrity" in some chat a while back and ive increasingly become aligned to that shit too

* Sun, Sep 01 '24 ~ 22:51 📍 lfm

sometimes i don't know what to do with all this feeling, in this particular case

it lives its own life, and i've gone off about it a lot, but still, still

deeply grateful

feels like home

* Thu, May 30 '24 ~ 23:50 📍 lfm

beautiful dusk sky, hot chocolate, and distant frog chorus

* Thu, May 30 '24 ~ 12:20 📍 lfm

that i can & want to doesnt always mean i should!

* Fri, Mar 29 '24 ~ 16:42 📍 lfm

delicate interconnectedness of everything

* Mon, Mar 11 '24 ~ 23:22 📍 lfm

my body a dream for some people (to be like / to touch against) -- and at the same time, it simply is

* Fri, Jun 09 '23 ~ 18:51 📍 lfm

loud frog chorus in the reeds

* Mon, Mar 13 '23 ~ 19:54 📍 lfm

the 2 genders:

* Fri, Jul 22 '22 ~ 23:06 📍 lfm

connection is all there is to it


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