flurry of cherry petals -- at least i think these are cherry trees, in bloom
the garden at 120, 15 floors up.
the vine-y trees or whatever around the structures are still bare, but the daffodils are well up. windy but sunny. people walking around, sitting, chatting. construction sounds from below. helicopters occasionally flying overhead. sitting next to some little manmade waterstream, reading this book i got with me, listening to - u guessed it - oli xl.
tmrw quest: cook sth for breakfast/brunch (cba setting alarm, will see where this leads me) -> explore garden at 120 and brick lane as per friend reco -> (drop by the occasional sainsburys to seek for if theres still the lemon meringue minicakes anywhere....) -> ??? -> drop by hostel, cook sth for dinner, maybe -> Trance Party
quest: toilet - grocery - kitchen - brush teeth n suchsome - settle to bed
and then next i'll read that shit like i were in literature class analyzing a text, as soon as possible haha
i could cry a little bit - 2020 me especially wished she had this shit
but needed a bit of serious-business weathering thru holding down a job and all (and savings bolstering for the rainy days) before being truly ready to tackle this type of stuff
(i.e. negotiating apartment-give-over day to a couple weeks from now, currently waiting to find out if the contract stuff will go down digitally or physically)
on this time three years ago i was at the event i first saw a bunch of artists including oli xl at :-] and evian christ too - seeing evian for the uhh. 6th+7th time this weekend lol, tp:weekender moment
sainsburys lemon meringue mini loaf cakes beamed back into my mind, from a year ago. need
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separating art v artist, problematic artist edition
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separating art v artist, easily-humbled fan edition
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separating art v artist v somebody uve fallen out with that u associate the art and/or artist with (hard mode?)
the gravity of 3 years and 6800(+) listens and continued deep heartwarmth for it really hits sometimes...
i'm calling it. i haven't figured out any reliable way to send a physical letter to 30-to-40-years-in-the-future (which'd make 58-68yo) me about such, or i totally would...
cartoon smile is going to genuinely stay w me for the rest of my life, i'm calling it
have to write to the owner today and negotiate stuff now - but for now a celebratry walk
funny af to think of apartment viewings as basically going on dates with apartments - it's kind of true isn't it
resident oli-ologist
-a friend. thanks i'll adopt oli-ology into my fucking vocab now
the other day: took me a good few minutes to remember the word запрещено ('forbidden')
go!!!!
eat something for enough energy for some time of dwelling outside -> make notes abt days off on paper w pen, go outside w said paper n pen, call the mf to negotiate viewing time Soon As Possible -> Yeah
there's this meatstuffs processing thing rather nearby, and i think they smoke meat in the outdoor containers for such on maybe fridays and saturdays? and sometimes the smell wafts a bit into my room if my window is open. adjacent enough to bbq type smells to come across pleasant
aware she wants to help bc she cares, dont want her help bc both of them have been overly unhelpful on my mental in the past and also cos feels infantilizing on some level. please let me just fetch the stuff i need when i need it, let me have some autonomy
sometimes the world smiles to me thru sweet music and a kind worker learning the ropes at the local hesburger
though common enemy by fuj only seems to exist publicly-online in a couple of dj mixes - this ra mix from around 39min on and this mix coming in from like 34min on, the evian + seretide editorial about english heritage mixtape even had them specifying it took them a whole 7 months to get a hold of the flac for it 😭
but the extra bang from that upon the orig all fired up MMmmmmmmmm
luv a good fucking mashup type mix that elevates both/all the songs involved to greater heights
(this post is about all fired up seretide mix)
hesburger double cheese burger meal 4€ coupon save me (ill stall a bit on going yet, not my Usual Dinnertime of post-6pm yet)
and its sunny out!
equal fav thing at work to Dog In Shop (Petting Consent Given) is Friends Unexpectedly Excitedly Encountering Each Other
you can be a dumbass about some things and still be loved. you can have limited energy and still be loved. you can be slow and still be loved.
-- sometimes its overwhelming for even me to try digest the utter extent of this resonance in this particular song's case, i gotta find fulfilling alternative ways to let that energy out into the world w/o overwhelming (certain) others, especially once i move into less energysap ways of living day to day and feel more free to create whatever i want however i want --
rehashing this thought from first day of this year:
backing off & letting the magic work itself for some areas -- getting hands-on & bringing the effort necessary for other areas
back off and let the magic work itself, sometimes.
i ended up taking some stuff out from a couple of my drawers but i eventually got too tired to continue dealing with them so ive just been sleeping with the things and trinkets taking up like 1/4 of my bed.
tired of being forced to overhear/eavesdrop my parents cos of not having any other choice. i need outta this place and i have PLANS!!!
or maybe put the comments section in scrapbook... anyway i really reallly need to eat.
irl intentions:
gather all the items from certain surfaces on my bed and decide how to put them away (finally have some paper for delicates packing too)
wash my hair this weekend so i'd look more presentable on wednesday for the apartment viewing (!!!!)
finish reading the book on bedside, so i could punt it back into the tallinn airport gates area free library circuitry where i got it from, in a little under 2 weeks
site intentions:
a section for fun comments and oneoff messages... idk what path id want for that... misc/comments? i dont want them to gather dust on my drive
[one day] about/miisu -- my cat - may well get started w this sorta thing while she's well and alive
my lent-as-excuse lite break from some sorts of music listening is slowly falling apart i think, but at the same time maybe for the better cos i cant let espresso macchiato and equal earworms have all this space and i cant escape the radio at work lool
overheard passing by, one older lady to another: -- beautiful weather today. y'know, i sought out my hula hoop --
me to a friend
[--] goof-ass shit. its amazing. 12yo [--] me couldntve even dreamt of this shit she wouldve exploded and also she was still very young and lacking in life experience and emotional maturity and appreciation for the mundane :,]
this summer flower seed catalogue from one of the suppliers uses 'who' (vs 'which') and 'they' (vs 'those') in the descriptions - sometimes things can get very passive with flower growing so having them referred to as living entities is cute
ok - have to reinforce the seams next to both pockets and a couple of small holes developed next to this large hole i already fixed n reinforced w some extra fabric some time back
Everything I Learn About Oli is Against My Will but in a non-aggressive way
like I'm cool with it!!
-friend of mine :,)
i wouldnt mind if its youuuu (yearnposting once again lol will actually have to see how the vibes and feelings will be irl)