t minus... 8? days.
progress is at "waiting for apt owner to craft up an invoice for the deposit and 18 days of rent that ill have to pay by the 11th"
so - yesterday i ordered a regular simple 20-euro casio analog watch, may arrive tomorrow. tired of the mi band lowkey. and with the impending moveout i think i can finally be a bit louder with my alarms again soon. for now a transitional period - will see
play silly games (dress recognizably), win silly prizes (actually be recognized)
unknown-shape curve where one axis is awareness about both oli xl and seretide and the other axis is likelihood of confusing them two. might be bell-curve-esque
somebody in a server im in:
I remember like 1 or 2 years ago there was someone here who was obsessed with oli xl and they had alot of interesting things to say- wish I remembered who it was
:,]
thinking about the end of an exchange i saw once (related to josm)
I really don’t care , sorry
That's okay. Not every hill is one to die on.
not every hill is one to die on.
and my first bee sighting of the season just as i had typed the previous thought up :,)
rephrasing: memories feeling like an unshakeable dream i've been unable to yet wake from
carpet hanger obscured by shrubs that i have walked past over a thousand times but noticed only now
clouded by selfdoubts a lot sometimes mostly on the too-much - not-enough continuum
i need more space and time and spare energy to digest that than i currently do
the pitched evian-evian-evian-... tag that evian christ sometimes uses in his sets. thats the thought rn
lmao the 2 ppl who sat in same row as me on the flight here happened behind me in the boarding queue for the flight back and recognized me cos one of them had to slight-switch seats w me - but this time they're sitting rather far apart but one of them again in same row as me - what are the ODDS
tonite the ppl i knew more left over the course of the tail end of the night and im a bit sad i couldnt say bye to some of em
-- thinking about the hypothetical of sharing a listen of cartoon smile. it means everything to me sometimes, and i want to share a sliver of that, with you.
... beloved memory patchwork quilt. travelling going to these events and occasionally meeting up with some of the lot or otherwise with some friend(s) or other makes me feel like i belong. going on big fuckoff summer night walks along the perimeter of my hometown makes me feel like i belong. i'm really grateful.
... of course the world is on a level of bullshit which individual feelings of love and belonging won't fix alone. but it gives some reason to try... (at least - in my case For Now - in getting around to more actively trying to making moves in my life toward not being so actively tormented by my circumstances - well, mostly the living w my parents still, anyway) --
sometimes it is up to the world to smile to you, sometimes it is up to you to smile to the world
(hidden pondrances from before pre-tp nap)
okay... time to try sleep. someone in a server im in got a pic with evian last night, which lowkey makes me wanna too - he even clocked my light-up winged cap last night passing me by (prolly seen me around w it on prior times), looked at me, smiled, said 'sup. lowkey made my evening haha
i fish out the plastic cup for water from my hoodie pocket - it has a single piece of confetti in it
last nights verdict:
lovely amt of ppl i know from online given paper cranes to. told the dream to the friend at one point and things did not end up going weird cos of that, we continue chillin (in this house this is a w). did 100% seretide set in the end and it was good fuckign warmup for latter half of evian set. heard all fired up seretide mix in its intended environment. Life's Goood
main room would beckon to me but really needa dance myself a bit senseless to seretide rn
flurry of cherry petals -- at least i think these are cherry trees, in bloom
the garden at 120, 15 floors up.
the vine-y trees or whatever around the structures are still bare, but the daffodils are well up. windy but sunny. people walking around, sitting, chatting. construction sounds from below. helicopters occasionally flying overhead. sitting next to some little manmade waterstream, reading this book i got with me, listening to - u guessed it - oli xl.
tmrw quest: cook sth for breakfast/brunch (cba setting alarm, will see where this leads me) -> explore garden at 120 and brick lane as per friend reco -> (drop by the occasional sainsburys to seek for if theres still the lemon meringue minicakes anywhere....) -> ??? -> drop by hostel, cook sth for dinner, maybe -> Trance Party
quest: toilet - grocery - kitchen - brush teeth n suchsome - settle to bed
and then next i'll read that shit like i were in literature class analyzing a text, as soon as possible haha
i could cry a little bit - 2020 me especially wished she had this shit
but needed a bit of serious-business weathering thru holding down a job and all (and savings bolstering for the rainy days) before being truly ready to tackle this type of stuff
(i.e. negotiating apartment-give-over day to a couple weeks from now, currently waiting to find out if the contract stuff will go down digitally or physically)
on this time three years ago i was at the event i first saw a bunch of artists including oli xl at :-] and evian christ too - seeing evian for the uhh. 6th+7th time this weekend lol, tp:weekender moment
sainsburys lemon meringue mini loaf cakes beamed back into my mind, from a year ago. need
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separating art v artist, problematic artist edition
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separating art v artist, easily-humbled fan edition
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separating art v artist v somebody uve fallen out with that u associate the art and/or artist with (hard mode?)
the gravity of 3 years and 6800(+) listens and continued deep heartwarmth for it really hits sometimes...
i'm calling it. i haven't figured out any reliable way to send a physical letter to 30-to-40-years-in-the-future (which'd make 58-68yo) me about such, or i totally would...
cartoon smile is going to genuinely stay w me for the rest of my life, i'm calling it
have to write to the owner today and negotiate stuff now - but for now a celebratry walk
funny af to think of apartment viewings as basically going on dates with apartments - it's kind of true isn't it
resident oli-ologist
-a friend. thanks i'll adopt oli-ology into my fucking vocab now
the other day: took me a good few minutes to remember the word запрещено ('forbidden')
go!!!!
eat something for enough energy for some time of dwelling outside -> make notes abt days off on paper w pen, go outside w said paper n pen, call the mf to negotiate viewing time Soon As Possible -> Yeah
there's this meatstuffs processing thing rather nearby, and i think they smoke meat in the outdoor containers for such on maybe fridays and saturdays? and sometimes the smell wafts a bit into my room if my window is open. adjacent enough to bbq type smells to come across pleasant