🌱 sneek thoughts

i also exist here / [to bottom]

addtl info about this page

Wed, Jul 17 '24 - 5:45PM [lfm]

someone tweeting "Oli XL updates: There are still no updates" and my ass just lightheartedly thinkin like, amateur!!!! (but the updates have been really slight)

Wed, Jul 17 '24 - 2:06AM [lfm]

idea: section for my cat on my about page

Wed, Jul 17 '24 - 2:03AM [lfm]

also i wanna make a more elaborate pointer cursor for the style

Wed, Jul 17 '24 - 1:25AM [lfm]

note to self: fill bg of headings on smile-style of my site (for jumping-to-section purposes, cos of the little fairy lights background topping)

Tue, Jul 16 '24 - 8:14PM [lfm]

would they let me cruise through the saatse boot on manual kick scooter long as i dont put my foot down while in the boot

theres probably specifications for going (or not going) thru on non-car vehicles but let me ponder

Mon, Jul 15 '24 - 12:37AM [lfm]

anyway time to sleep

Mon, Jul 15 '24 - 12:31AM [lfm]

[another fragment on it, maybe more tangential at this point]

-- i don't really know what to do with the world, how to heal it, but something about this reassures me despite it all. the knowledge that it seems to tap into some huge source of love within me. and it's on me to try wield it somehow, to my own best ability (which may be different from others', and it's inevitable, and it's okay) --

Mon, Jul 15 '24 - 12:13AM [lfm]

[thought fragment, for maybe readjustments of the preface of the cartoonsmilebit of a certain rambly page on my site]

-- whenever i'm able to let it even relatively fully resonate with me (still surprisingly often for how much i've heard it), i feel like i'm home. safe, or comforted, whatever balm my heart might be needing. it feels like home, and i really mean it. / it's a thin line between healing myself, or just letting it accompany me, and escapism from life as it is sometimes. / anyway --

Sun, Jul 14 '24 - 11:44PM [lfm]

feels like home

Sat, Jul 13 '24 - 1:34AM [lfm]

kurwa ślimak

Fri, Jul 12 '24 - 4:16PM [lfm]

feeling like being slightly decadent this weekend

Fri, Jul 12 '24 - 4:11PM [lfm]

flattened

Wed, Jul 10 '24 - 2:23AM [lfm]

last night before sleep i felt really radiant love again listening to slowed/stretched cartoon smile

Tue, Jul 09 '24 - 2:26PM [lfm]

wait this is so funny, ive had 3 different friends now tell me theyve had some dream involving oli xl dropping new music and each of them has been a different sorta dream

Mon, Jul 08 '24 - 7:31AM [lfm]

i think literally all the ppl i kinda regularly dm these days are the kind to take their time to respond cos of life being busy or whatnot - which is Refreshing and Nice actually. feel free to take yalls time !!!

Sun, Jul 07 '24 - 5:43PM [lfm]

dreamt last night too, much softer dreaming than the night before.

Sat, Jul 06 '24 - 8:13PM [lfm]

i once somehow had a pair of pajama pants end up ripping open along its butt seam though 💀💀

Sat, Jul 06 '24 - 8:12PM [lfm]

"I get that your classic "distressed" jeans have holes in the knees, but...when do people wear out the knees on their pants?" (via)

as some1 that likes to squat down a bunch (and doesnt have as much wear in crotch area) my pants enjoy succumbing to Knee Wear, if they're tighter. one time in middle school upon squatting down a pair very suddenly acquired a knee rip, and a different pair that was my go-to during uni eventually fell apart too hard to wear properly anymore, also starting from the knees

but with looser pairs i try to pull them up a bit every time before squatting down so there'd be more give in the knees. my sunflower pants have become worn out at the very bottom (front) edges of the pant legs first instead, somehow

Sat, Jul 06 '24 - 7:07AM [lfm]

woke up like an hour ago cos of the light and cos of some stupid schoolrelated stress dream. fuck sake i graduated hs 8 years ago leave me be

Thu, Jul 04 '24 - 4:08AM [lfm]

wanna do smth w the airdry clay...

Tue, Jul 02 '24 - 7:31AM [lfm]

ive hauled this idea around passively in my brain for ages of making some sort of table of the riquiqui bronze instances, comparing them against each other, as in like some are more glitchy, some have vox some don't, some have the instrumental some mightn't, etc..

Tue, Jul 02 '24 - 4:33AM [lfm]

in my own defense re that final bit, ive not been a majorly serial liker on insta so it isnt as painstaking as some might think this to be. but still!

Tue, Jul 02 '24 - 4:32AM [lfm]

i might as well try to stay up til later morning. gotta drop by my workplace to finish writin the application thing for taking my remaining unscheduled 2 days of break for end of august, but can only do that after 8am.

and also a grocery run, running out of bread, and cocoa powder... and getting some other Foodable Items would be useful. maybe frozen bilberries? so i would be more inclined to make smoothies, cos for some reason i dont wanna make em if i dont have any (frozen) bilberries at hand [well the go-to combo is apple+banana+bilberries, so this applies for any of the above], always include a generous amount... but this too is only possible after 8am.

stupid disorienting flow state of clearing up my older ig likes i dont know what use this is of but i dont wanna burn down n start over w a new acc either so. fuck it. it's workbreak anyway. i can afford some disorientation right now

Tue, Jul 02 '24 - 4:27AM [lfm]

mooorrrreeeee disorientation

Sat, Jun 29 '24 - 3:04PM [lfm]

fishes in the pond, starling amongst the clover

Sat, Jun 29 '24 - 1:57AM [lfm]

i ended up reaching back home from that walk at a little after 4am. the 2:15am hot dog and peppermint hot chocolate from the further away gas station in town really hit

Fri, Jun 28 '24 - 1:57AM [lfm]

corn crake ridiculously close, but too dark to spot in the tall grass

also moonrise was rlly nice

Fri, Jun 28 '24 - 12:51AM [lfm]

listening to something on loop tht i shouldnt even have the damn file of! but it really hits on clear midsummer nights

Fri, Jun 28 '24 - 12:50AM [lfm]

the moon should be rising just about now, from eastward

Fri, Jun 28 '24 - 12:49AM [lfm]

on a walk

gorgeous noctilucent clouds

Thu, Jun 27 '24 - 9:47PM [lfm]

ri,se feelin Fresh after some while of not properly listening thru

Wed, Jun 26 '24 - 11:42PM [lfm]

kitten being picked up from next to a takeout box while it holds a whole sushi roll from the box in its mouth, with bottom text "soshi"

this is me really

Tue, Jun 25 '24 - 1:35PM [lfm]

gonna be prouder of oli xl getting out of warp than of him getting into warp

we need the tea but is he gonna be willing to be the one taking the proverbial bullet for the tea

Tue, Jun 25 '24 - 12:04PM [lfm]

at-work stress level directly proportional to how well the cash register would handle some mf paying for a small purchase with a 50euro bill

Mon, Jun 24 '24 - 11:57PM [lfm]

jittery

Sat, Jun 22 '24 - 2:09PM [lfm]

corgi sticking their face out of an open rear window of a car passing by :-) right after seeing the recurring old brown doggie with grey face

Sat, Jun 22 '24 - 2:04PM [lfm]

perfect warm day

Fri, Jun 21 '24 - 8:23PM [lfm]

shoutout to the recently joined fellow flight rising user on thoughts.page

Thu, Jun 20 '24 - 10:31PM [lfm]

holy shit and/or fuck (meant positively)

Wed, Jun 19 '24 - 11:56PM [lfm]

stuck

Tue, Jun 18 '24 - 11:43PM [lfm]

it barely getting dark at night in june where i live (unless super overcast) still trips me out

especially with my bedroom window Continuing To Face Directly North

Tue, Jun 18 '24 - 6:31PM [lfm]

forecasting a fuckload of rain for tomorrow afternoon and i find it a charming thing (cos i wont have to be outside for the peak of it)

Tue, Jun 18 '24 - 6:07PM [lfm]

ive been hearing grasshoppers :-)

Tue, Jun 18 '24 - 5:29PM [lfm]

note to self send [ ] the kælan+chelsea show vids tonite

Tue, Jun 18 '24 - 4:31PM [lfm]

but different strokes for different folks! 🗣

Tue, Jun 18 '24 - 4:25PM [lfm]

finding it funny still how ive managed to squeeze out both the funds And time for brief little occasional (in-schengen) trips. some might be like "but wtf trip is a 2day trip" cos their idea of travel might be like 7day chill nothingdoing at some mediterranean beach or w/e but i can chill and do nothing (but really still do something) for 7 days At Home For Cheaper Too. but oli fuckin xl isnt coming to within 1 hour radius from me any time soon i feel like, or evian christ or whoever the fuck idk. hell even tallinn isnt 1-hour radius from me, cos evian is coming to tallinn end of august

Tue, Jun 18 '24 - 1:23AM [lfm]

maybe i respectfuly need to Shut Up in some specific directions

Mon, Jun 17 '24 - 10:42PM [lfm]

the mostly-self-proclaimed oli xl scholar has once logged the fuck on onto genius dot com

Sun, Jun 16 '24 - 12:30AM [lfm]

intensely disoriented

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 11:36PM [lfm]

ive enjoyed having mashed up phrases as nickname in a server... for a while persistent deep soup creatrue (typo intentional), now piping hot liquid sunshine

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 3:02PM [lfm]

grocery store ambience via toilet

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 2:47PM [lfm]

funny moment from hanging w an online friend earlier in the week, at that moment at a hesburger

me: (finished drinking the cola, contemplating the ice)

friend: i have some friends who chew o-

me: (had put one of the ice cubes in mouth)

them: .............

both: (laughing)

(the at least hesburger soft drink ice cubes are hollow though)

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 2:33PM [lfm]

reverse waldo as someone in a server im in has said

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 2:32PM [lfm]

i guess it might also make it easier for me to go incognito in some sense, if i have enough plain clothing for some neutral fit which i guess i do (tho might still clock me by my face and gait unless i try conceal those)

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 2:30PM [lfm]

cute moment i remember once from a busy asf workday in 2022 may, while i was clearing out the trash cans, a regular customer said to me they always recognize me by the stripey pant :,) [my go-to pair was the rainbow pant at that time]

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 2:29PM [lfm]

i think a mostly-fun side effect in being colourful in my dressing style + also moderately cartoon-character-esque (wearing the same fit all the time for stretches of time) is that people that regularly see me Will Recognize Me at least from afar

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 2:27PM [lfm]

go on ride tmrw?

Sat, Jun 15 '24 - 12:28AM [lfm]

i see the vision w wearing no(t much) colour and just going for black/white/whatever cos can more easily appreciate the silhouettes and such going on in that case but in my personal style i CAN'T NOT be colourful lol

Fri, Jun 14 '24 - 10:37PM [lfm]

going thru and clearing out my spotify likes a little painstakingly

marriage by gold panda i swear is so fuckign familiar from somewhere and i cant remember rn where from!! in that i suspect i might have footage of idk who playin it in their dj set or whatever within my stuff

Thu, Jun 13 '24 - 11:05PM [lfm]

really need to invest in comfier underwear sometime... would like more boxer-type ones but idk how they would cooperate with pads, or at the very least i'd like higher-waist ones than some i have... or both...

Thu, Jun 13 '24 - 11:03PM [lfm]

Random morning thought: underwear should never, ever, ever be white, or light colored. Speaking from a man’s perspective, of course. Can’t speak for the other side. 😅

-thought from netbros.com

well as someone from the other side (by which i mean Has Periods) i can fully concur lmao

(at least my reuseable menstrual pads are black!)

Thu, Jun 13 '24 - 2:33PM [lfm]

32kbps mp3 radio advert

Wed, Jun 12 '24 - 1:19PM [lfm]

painkiller lack issue was solved but now have to wait for it to kick in

Wed, Jun 12 '24 - 11:37AM [lfm]

first day of period and i dont have any painkillers with me. Good Fucking Luck To Me

Wed, Jun 12 '24 - 11:24AM [lfm]

seen a literal lightning mcqueen ass car

Tue, Jun 11 '24 - 6:02AM [lfm]

woke up and got pics of u by proc fiskal stuck in my head somehow (even tho that ep as whole didnt latch w me as much as idve maybe liked it to)

Mon, Jun 10 '24 - 8:15PM [lfm]

problem solvent

Sun, Jun 09 '24 - 11:41PM [lfm]

paying part of the utility bill but theres a secret fee and that part is paid for by my sanity sometimes

Sun, Jun 09 '24 - 3:42PM [lfm]

fuck around find out fuck around find out fuck around find out

Sat, Jun 08 '24 - 8:27PM [lfm]

i love u cartoon smile (still still still)

absurdly long-lasting

Sat, Jun 08 '24 - 12:38AM [lfm]

i feel annoying

Fri, Jun 07 '24 - 6:16PM [lfm]

and free a4 frame >:-) cos i dont rlly give a shit about havin the congratulatory notices framed

Fri, Jun 07 '24 - 6:15PM [lfm]

and i got the giftbag for the best-customer-service-mf-of-shop thing (wouldve received at the lil collective congratulatory trip to some spa place but i had mandatory days off for my different lil trip so i couldnt go and i wouldntve rlly cared and my fucked up knees mightntve allowed me to enjoy the saunas and pools or whatevs to the fullest anyway), one more for the involuntary wine collection 😂 cos with the giftbags for such and also for the midsummer and xmas foodgiftpackages theyll include wine (mulled for xmas) either alco or non-alco

at least i also got 75€ worth of giftcard stuff for the storechain branch so thats Pretty Nice. might look into bedding, for one, and buy some for part of that

Fri, Jun 07 '24 - 6:10PM [lfm]

for now: groceries, then vote, then home. or groceries, then find my damn id card pin codes at home, and e-vote... that might be better for the groceries

Fri, Jun 07 '24 - 6:09PM [lfm]

eventful week.

Thu, Jun 06 '24 - 3:51PM [lfm]

tarot but dartboard (random thought while i was shuffling randon playing cards i got, out of boredom)

Wed, Jun 05 '24 - 1:59PM [lfm]

also had a thought before going on lunch break but forgot it

Wed, Jun 05 '24 - 1:59PM [lfm]

brain rot

Wed, Jun 05 '24 - 6:56AM [lfm]

some being like "what have u even learned about (song) after (obscene amount of listens)" maybe its more about what i learn about myself

Wed, Jun 05 '24 - 6:55AM [lfm]

sometimes the tune doesnt resonate fully and that is ok. ebb n flow, ebb n flow

Tue, Jun 04 '24 - 6:30PM [lfm]

warmed by the sun thru the window

Tue, Jun 04 '24 - 4:01PM [lfm]

not even for the sake of not having the bird make signalisation go off after closing or not ending up with a bird corpse in shop, but reuniting it with its mf homies i mustve seen a couple of behind the window while i was absolutely climbing the damn shelving (low shelving + i'd dismantled a couple of the shelves to get to the window)

wild

Tue, Jun 04 '24 - 3:59PM [lfm]

if theres one thing to know about me it is that i will sweat my ass off to get a lil bird out from behind the shelves of a shop (fortunately the window the bird had flown to was already mildly fucked so it was rlly easy to open)

Mon, Jun 03 '24 - 11:38PM [lfm]

little bit of higher-up cloud gently lit from underneath by the set sun, peeking from between the rest

Sun, Jun 02 '24 - 11:42PM [lfm]

embarrassing existence

Sun, Jun 02 '24 - 10:04PM [lfm]

clouds lit by the setting sun

Sat, Jun 01 '24 - 11:28PM [lfm]

im just cooked these days

Sat, Jun 01 '24 - 5:43PM [lfm]

first time darning a sock :-) mildly mediocre looks-wise but it might hold

Sat, Jun 01 '24 - 4:54PM [lfm]

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

Fri, May 31 '24 - 9:44PM [lfm]

smell of lilacs, smell of smoke, sunlight thru clouds, bugs flitting about, bird singing

Thu, May 30 '24 - 11:50PM [lfm]

beautiful dusk sky, hot chocolate, and distant frog chorus

Thu, May 30 '24 - 10:35PM [lfm]

i go weeks between playing on my switch lite these days

Thu, May 30 '24 - 12:20PM [lfm]

that i can & want to doesnt always mean i should!

Wed, May 29 '24 - 1:23PM [lfm]

starling(?) perched atop a defunct street light pole

Wed, May 29 '24 - 12:58AM [lfm]

thinking about (forgotten adjective) cowboy song

Tue, May 28 '24 - 10:57PM [lfm]

beautiful sky. bummer the adjacent apartment building entirely covers up the sunset horizon for my window this time of year

Tue, May 28 '24 - 7:13PM [lfm]

a couple boys yelled HOMO etc at my very gay pant across the street, congrats you babies you understood that 1+1=2, call me when youve learned gay square roots

Tue, May 28 '24 - 7:20AM [lfm]

really feel like im sinking. really need to set a bit of time aside to meal-plan

Mon, May 27 '24 - 9:14PM [lfm]

it all feels like an evil fucking joke

Mon, May 27 '24 - 8:41PM [lfm]

too spun out

Sun, May 26 '24 - 7:47PM [lfm]

signs its so over for me: huge appreciatin of even raw unfiltered oli vox LMAO (via the insta post of his, final frame, fillin in some missing vox)

Sun, May 26 '24 - 2:06AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

slippers arranged into a star

Sun, May 26 '24 - 1:54AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

right-hand pistachio eater, pre-peeled

Sat, May 25 '24 - 2:07AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Stockholm)

mechatorus set has left my back geriatric (itll pass)

Fri, May 24 '24 - 11:14PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Stockholm)

sooo happyy

Fri, May 24 '24 - 2:43PM [lfm]

part of list from an over-the-speaker announcement about some of one flight's cabin baggage needing to be placed in the hold: "please remove travel documentation, medication, (...)"

bars

Fri, May 24 '24 - 2:32PM [lfm]

overheard while waiting for boarding, possibly someone talking over videochat: jaa kaks hammast on sul ees (yeah you have two teeth at the front)

Fri, May 24 '24 - 12:30PM [lfm]

couple-looking two people, matching dark red+blue flannelish shirts, hats with brims differing in colour slightly, one with lighter (grey? beige?) cargoish pants and a black backpack, the other with black pants and yellow backpack. cool sight

Fri, May 24 '24 - 11:23AM [lfm]

the breakdownish bit on germ chrism by iglooghost is fuckin Sick

Fri, May 24 '24 - 11:08AM [lfm]

tiny clouds in the distance, of an otherwise full-clear sky

Thu, May 23 '24 - 1:47AM [lfm]

i guess really it just could be rephrased as i love oli xl so much that it influenced me to eat and notice more bananas

Thu, May 23 '24 - 1:42AM [lfm]

kicked off from a simple primed to see banana, at the storypost... recent examples

  • primed to prop up spoon on a banana

  • primed to ban banana

  • primed to be told about banana discount at a local grocery store

  • primed to leave banana overnight at work

  • primed to deposit banana peel on the corner of a desk (this one also via oli-involving ig story)

Thu, May 23 '24 - 1:38AM [lfm]

the 2 horsemen of oli xl brain rot

  • the japanese tweet that may be translating to "I love Oli XL so much I might shave my head"

  • the tweet that says "Oli XL i love you so much, i buy all of my clothes in XL just to say ur name 😍"

bonus super convoluted 3rd horseman:

  • going like "primed to (phrase involving 'banana')" at a friend every time i see something banana-involvibg phraseable in a fun way, starting from an oli ig story that just so happened to have bananas in it

Tue, May 21 '24 - 8:52PM [lfm]

LIFE'S TOO SHORT

Tue, May 21 '24 - 7:44PM [lfm]

sat on the kitchen counter next to the stove as i cook some pasta

Mon, May 20 '24 - 11:17PM [lfm]

hearing a frog from outside the apartment building :-)

Mon, May 20 '24 - 10:09PM [lfm]

gr1n, even while i dont think ill bother w em, gettin so close to the great crossing of the hugest sneek obsessions of all time (they had oli xl on the lineup for an event of theirs a month back, and has moa pillar on the lineup for their upcoming thing next month)

Sun, May 19 '24 - 11:15AM [lfm]

i see you! maybe.

Sat, May 18 '24 - 2:24PM [lfm]

the time of year where unidentified-to-me trees(?) are spreading their rlly light n mildly fluffed seeds via wind. closest u can get to dreamy snow in warm warm weather

& there was a teensy spider hanging off my cap beak, made me think of a particular situation where the exact same thing cheered me up. i'd been acting very stupidly out of emotion, at someone. i ought write to them even tho we don't speak anymore, left my old phone charger at their place and wonder if they still have it cos ill be in stockholm again next friday... want it back, the usb adapter was so nice and small.

Fri, May 17 '24 - 6:22PM [lfm]

and a starling bathing in some lakeside shallow water

Fri, May 17 '24 - 6:19PM [lfm]

lil frog chorus going on somewhere at the lake :-)

Fri, May 17 '24 - 7:42AM [lfm]

lilacs comin up

Thu, May 16 '24 - 7:54PM [lfm]

(i did head back out to ride some more after dropping by home to clean and dress em up lol)

Thu, May 16 '24 - 7:53PM [lfm]

have been so aware of my fucking knees tonight, got them scratched up falling off the kick scooter and they've been stinging a bit even tho i cleaned em up and slapped some adhesive bandaging on em. maybe i ought to redo, or just let em breathe in the open a bit, let em heal n rebandage up in the morning before work

Wed, May 15 '24 - 6:57PM [lfm]

sat at the <table>

Tue, May 14 '24 - 9:48PM [lfm]

my brain is so badly cooked i dont like it i dont like it i dont like it i dont like it i dont like it

Tue, May 14 '24 - 2:00PM [lfm]

"i removed a restriction off your account so your lyric edit changes shouldn’t go through as proposals anymore :P"

Un-Fucking-Stoppable On Genius Dot Com (long as i act respectfully)

Tue, May 14 '24 - 6:59AM [lfm]

(cartoon smile)

Sat, May 11 '24 - 11:16PM [lfm]

deep fucking disgust and silent anger. merely meaningful-irl-action hands-tied by living mildly too far away from big cities

Sat, May 11 '24 - 12:24AM [lfm]

one of these days i feel like i might deem life 2 short and just punt the link to a certain subpage of my site to a certain some1 (after askin if theyd wanna see). have had waves of wantin to do that. but i get shy rlly

Fri, May 10 '24 - 11:09AM [lfm]

running on bare 3 hours of sleep: just barely avoided wishing a customer good evening at 11am

Fri, May 10 '24 - 6:36AM [lfm]

ugh

Thu, May 09 '24 - 8:06PM [lfm]

and, really it's all connected.

Thu, May 09 '24 - 8:05PM [lfm]

though during one of my oli-xl-dj-set-catching trips i had a hilarious serendipitous moment w i like it by enrique iglesias ft pitbull, where i'd listened to it in a random blip of pitbull mood upon departing from riga, and later that day i encountered the song in the wild in a burger and fries place in amsterdam

Thu, May 09 '24 - 8:03PM [lfm]

signs im not entirely abnormal about oli xl: whenever i encounter the word 'worldwide' pitbull still takes precedence over oli's w - i label in my mind's associations

Thu, May 09 '24 - 4:41PM [lfm]

a manual kick scooter got manifested into my life, for 25€. now i ought to look into helmets

Thu, May 09 '24 - 12:28PM [lfm]

and its one of those cute small xmas tree candles i didnt want to light up for a while.

Thu, May 09 '24 - 12:27PM [lfm]

candle as ritual

Wed, May 08 '24 - 8:57PM [lfm]

experimental piano music enjoyer friendly hour at this grocery store

(piano being tuned in the middle of the store, for its anniversary month shenanigans, but i cant find any info about any in-store concert anywhere yet)

Tue, May 07 '24 - 10:05PM [lfm]

fucking cooked

Mon, May 06 '24 - 10:56PM [lfm]

increasingly elaborate phrases involving primed to and banana

Sat, May 04 '24 - 2:39PM [lfm]

(gave in to the craving of potato chips from the grocery store) well i'd be more hard pressed to do these myself to the same degree but i have pulled off such a couple times but it takes TIME

Sat, May 04 '24 - 2:38PM [lfm]

(smells good pastry smells in the grocery store) fuck u i could do these myself (sees nice vanilla butter cookies in the grocery store) fuck u i could do these myself

Fri, May 03 '24 - 10:33PM [lfm]

the sky's been mostly clear the past few days. think it helps a little with living, for me

Thu, May 02 '24 - 8:14PM [lfm]

i'm condensing

Wed, May 01 '24 - 1:47AM [lfm]

this morning i saw a deer

Wed, May 01 '24 - 12:02AM [lfm]

nothing says spring cleaning like tidying ur ublock custom filter list at midnight

Mon, Apr 29 '24 - 11:34PM [lfm]

murky state. not sure i enjoy

Mon, Apr 29 '24 - 6:20PM [lfm]

longhaired dachshund i see being walked sometimes who has an entirely greyed face :,) old puppydog

Mon, Apr 29 '24 - 2:35PM [lfm]

erosion of meaning (of some things)

Mon, Apr 29 '24 - 6:49AM [lfm]

a bit cooked. bad

Sun, Apr 28 '24 - 11:40PM [lfm]

go oli go outro windchime son or cartoon smile outro fireworks daughter

Sun, Apr 28 '24 - 1:47AM [lfm]

deep soup creature

Sat, Apr 27 '24 - 8:48PM [lfm]

poisoned by words (context: overhearing parents)

Sat, Apr 27 '24 - 5:57PM [lfm]

phrase of the week, via a recentish rym review on rogue intruder: Oli's thick magical soup (originally in norwegian; and the reviewer feeling theyre sinking into it a little deeper with each repetition)

Sat, Apr 27 '24 - 12:09AM [lfm]

okay im normal

Sat, Apr 27 '24 - 12:09AM [lfm]

like, hesitate's deleted verse (or at least how it's present in the only intact full recording of that from a live set) ends on read the tag on my neck while you bite to get a clue likeeee

(the fact that the song's words' lore is, in oli's words, ai teddy bear sick and tired of its 4 year old master's abuse would prolly mildly put the unethically in the unethically horny 💀)

Sat, Apr 27 '24 - 12:02AM [lfm]

comment on clumsy by oli xl on soundcloud: this makes me so unethically horny

a mutual tweeting about that comment: wheres the button to turn off seeing peoples comments 💔

me, to mostly myself: why clumsy when there's hesitate

Wed, Apr 24 '24 - 2:10PM [lfm]

underestimated the power of the utter painful inconvenience of nonsupportive insoles ouch!

Tue, Apr 23 '24 - 5:40PM [lfm]

primed to be inclined to buy banana and carrot

Mon, Apr 22 '24 - 11:15AM [lfm]

weather feels fresh

Sun, Apr 21 '24 - 2:17AM [lfm]

also the manager having looked at discount fabrics on the work comp and eyed at some for jacket sewing got some shit cooking in my brain

Sun, Apr 21 '24 - 2:09AM [lfm]

who up brushing they teeth at the club at 2am

Fri, Apr 19 '24 - 5:57PM [lfm]

live deliciously

Thu, Apr 18 '24 - 11:10PM [lfm]

being sad but comforted. if not possible by people around then a song will do

Thu, Apr 18 '24 - 6:55PM [lfm]

from some vantage point everything is weird

Thu, Apr 18 '24 - 5:08PM [lfm]

maintenant

Wed, Apr 17 '24 - 10:51PM [lfm]

at the same time i still remember a few details from the day i bought this thing. went home from my uni dorm that day for the weekend, but not before literally cooking (mini)pelmeni for breakfast 😂 at least i think that was the very same day...

Wed, Apr 17 '24 - 10:49PM [lfm]

at the same time it feels a bit too powerful (proverbially) for bedside if i think about it enough haha

Wed, Apr 17 '24 - 10:46PM [lfm]

sometimes at home i appreciate my current main phone's presence energy just cos of how long ive had it = the variety of situations it's prolly seen me thru haha

Wed, Apr 17 '24 - 7:06AM [lfm]

reclusive snail

Tue, Apr 16 '24 - 3:08AM [lfm]

i guess it mostly just breaks my heart a bit how some ppl seem to be motivated in part or in full by what i perceive to be absolute most hostile bullshit

Mon, Apr 15 '24 - 2:29PM [lfm]

oversleep + undereat hell

Sat, Apr 13 '24 - 2:42PM [lfm]

saw a duck settle to sleep at the streamside

Sat, Apr 13 '24 - 9:44AM [lfm]

the travesty of banger instrumentation being spent on songs about absolute unhealthy romantic clinginess sometimes (i say this as someone thats been unhealthily clingy at times)

Fri, Apr 12 '24 - 8:45PM [lfm]

still able to exhibit admirable levels of stupidity

Tue, Apr 09 '24 - 11:57PM [lfm]

enhancer

Tue, Apr 09 '24 - 6:55PM [lfm]

it's a bitter feeling

Tue, Apr 09 '24 - 6:54PM [lfm]

could use a walk

Tue, Apr 09 '24 - 6:51PM [lfm]

plus my trips just arent photogenic as much as musical/auditory, cos of primarily traveling for music events. and would you even give a fuck about what i found interesting enough to take even a quick snip of

Tue, Apr 09 '24 - 6:48PM [lfm]

"why dont u show me pics from ur trip" respectfully one time when u asked to see pix of the sthlm trip i was on like 2.5 years ago u kinda scoffed at a pic of ducks i found funlookin n wanted to show, cos u were hellbent on wantin to see the mfs i hung out with for some damn reason. "i can see ducks at home too" but how often do u see That Kind Of Ducks In Specific. did u even pay attention. i havent forgotten the feeling

Tue, Apr 09 '24 - 12:44PM [lfm]

dropped by this lil handicraft hobbyschool i used to go to in middle school cos my first aid course in the same building as this thing's current iteration. im still recognised by the head of the thing. lil smalltalk. cute

Tue, Apr 09 '24 - 5:54AM [lfm]

hadn't had cereal with milk in a while

Sun, Apr 07 '24 - 12:18PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Amsterdam)

ambience enjoyment margin

Sat, Apr 06 '24 - 5:25PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

some kid with not one but two giant round yellow babychick plushies

Sat, Apr 06 '24 - 1:55PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

happened next to another estonian at the tate modern shop lol

Sat, Apr 06 '24 - 11:32AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

pay attention

Thu, Apr 04 '24 - 8:06PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

young kid (maybe 5 idk) saying bye-bye airplane upon disembarking thats so cute

Thu, Apr 04 '24 - 1:16PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

nometņu iela (airport-ward) got fun graffiti going on

Thu, Apr 04 '24 - 8:59AM [lfm]

the harp ver of shape of it by ouri hits different rn

Thu, Apr 04 '24 - 8:58AM [lfm]

never underestimate the power of a fresh pair of insoles

Wed, Apr 03 '24 - 2:25AM [lfm]

squeezed; translucent; unmoored; lonely

Wed, Apr 03 '24 - 12:29AM [lfm]

"watching someone be in love with you is such a gift"

but in my case why does she gotta be all the way across an ocean

Wed, Apr 03 '24 - 12:13AM [lfm]

haunted once again

Tue, Apr 02 '24 - 5:48PM [lfm]

cant marie kondo all my shit at once cos sometimes theres a "nothing else fills the niche" situation w some clothing in particular

Tue, Apr 02 '24 - 2:47PM [lfm]

and death of whatever connection btwn me and my parents, by a thousand tiny cuts

Tue, Apr 02 '24 - 2:54AM [lfm]

haunted by all sorts of thoughts

Tue, Apr 02 '24 - 2:39AM [lfm]

need to log out of shit

Tue, Apr 02 '24 - 2:25AM [lfm]

im feeling unmoored again and i dont like that

Tue, Apr 02 '24 - 2:24AM [lfm]

open sandbox bullshit across the board i dont know how to cope with it

Mon, Apr 01 '24 - 11:43PM [lfm]

too much going on in the world

Mon, Apr 01 '24 - 2:35PM [lfm]

first butterfly of the szn - yellow this time

Mon, Apr 01 '24 - 12:45PM [lfm]

warm outside

Sun, Mar 31 '24 - 2:04AM [lfm]

clear sky, lovely fog, stars visible

Fri, Mar 29 '24 - 4:42PM [lfm]

delicate interconnectedness of everything

Fri, Mar 29 '24 - 4:41PM [lfm]

cartoon smile has been the most persistently most beautiful thing in my life

Fri, Mar 29 '24 - 3:08PM [lfm]

emotional in the streets

Fri, Mar 29 '24 - 10:32AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

proprioceptively cool to me to be on a ferry, on an average weather day anyway. cool to pay attention to the gentle sway... ive never got seasick fortunately. of all vehicles im most likely to get carsick lol

Fri, Mar 29 '24 - 9:47AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

chains off the ouri album hits my ears so good

Fri, Mar 29 '24 - 9:32AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

had a lot of fun. reached back to the hostel with like 8% phone battery n in ultra power saver mode lol

Fri, Mar 29 '24 - 9:31AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

ouri's frame of a fauna album has started hittin more, during this trip, listened to it in transit from harbour to hostel yday and also back today, n now while waitin for ferry to open for boarding too

Thu, Mar 28 '24 - 1:38PM [lfm]

sitting at the tram stop, reading in the warm sun and chilly wind. enjoying the occasional newer tram's eeeeeeeee-(pewww) sound upon accelerating

Thu, Mar 28 '24 - 1:36PM [lfm]

someone waiting at the red light w eminems lose yourself loudly blasting in the car lol

Thu, Mar 28 '24 - 12:14PM [lfm]

wow pleasant draft of wind thru the bus between the open doors, while it stops at the airport

Thu, Mar 28 '24 - 12:13PM [lfm]

just seen a furniture place billboard ad dunking on ikea lol 😭 "fewer meatballs, more sofas" (but in estonian)

Wed, Mar 27 '24 - 3:47PM [lfm]

whats the difference between a flag on a pole and a bedsheet across a clothesline

Wed, Mar 27 '24 - 3:22PM [lfm]

thanks internet for the ability for me to search some shit by ean code and generally see wtf it looks like, while im at work and need to know

Wed, Mar 27 '24 - 7:39AM [lfm]

new grass, untouched

Tue, Mar 26 '24 - 6:48AM [lfm]

shoulder update: better after an ok enough sleep, still tender

Mon, Mar 25 '24 - 6:42PM [lfm]

its so frustrating

Mon, Mar 25 '24 - 6:41PM [lfm]

ive been on edge a lot of today/tonight. cant really take anything seriously at this point. all this bullshit and for what. have they tried sitting at a stream listening to the water instead of all this.

Mon, Mar 25 '24 - 6:07PM [lfm]

my shoulder is having a straight terrible time

Sun, Mar 24 '24 - 11:18PM [lfm]

workbreak agenda 03: look into new glasses

my mom got ones from a place in town that have a magnetic sunglasses-frame attachment which is so cool and could be useful for me wrt sensory shit. plus i could get partial compensation for sight-corrective glasses via my workplace, could be worth it

Sat, Mar 23 '24 - 9:48PM [lfm]

note to self: robert kurvitz püha ja õudne lõhn

Sat, Mar 23 '24 - 12:01AM [lfm]

week of proverbial special interest zoomies

Sat, Mar 23 '24 - 12:00AM [lfm]

tbf it's been nearly 2 years since i first caught any of his sets, and i'm catching one again soon :,) tho a year ago i was in a bit of a funk about some stuff but it's cleared now and i am in my full stride again i feel like. in being respectful huge fan w/o being too much hopefully. or at least being more (self)aware bout how i might carry myself? and also having found enough fellow appreciators to bounce the energy around with it's so funnn sometimes

okay yeah well i might convert this whole string of thoughts into a notebook post if im bothered to lol

Fri, Mar 22 '24 - 11:55PM [lfm]

a friend has sneaked full audio recordings (in graceful 64kbps m4a) of two of the oli dj sets theyve caught, for their own perusal and i guess mine too LOL, and im listening to one of them, from may 2023, and im obsessssssed with a whole swathe of songs strung together just about perfectly maybe

like ik ive caught enough of his sets to know the frequent tunes but sometimes shit hitssssssssss + some of them might be oli remixes of things which is also such a fun thing to indulge in esp if full recording

Fri, Mar 22 '24 - 11:53PM [lfm]

fucking hell man ive really been IN IT some of this week its crazy

Fri, Mar 22 '24 - 11:52PM [lfm]

IT'S ONCE AGAIN OLI XL SPECIAL INTEREST INDULGEMENT O'CLOCK BUT THIS TIME WITHOUT A WORKDAY TOMORROW!!!

Fri, Mar 22 '24 - 10:57PM [lfm]

near was going to type lame enc dll as lame enc dnll in a convo w a friend (was tryin to export shit as mp3 from audacity but i hadnt located the dll file for it yet) this isnt even fucking funny

(context for this not even being fucking funny: oli xl has a track named dnL and theres this sample in it that goes like boringgg lameee)

Fri, Mar 22 '24 - 7:45PM [lfm]

one set of windows on the adjacent apartment building looks so dreamy. fairy lights and curtains and all.

Fri, Mar 22 '24 - 12:13AM [lfm]

but also the cute cute vibe..

Fri, Mar 22 '24 - 12:08AM [lfm]

and started losing my fucking mind over the "tell me, pretty, what you what you what you did before me / i want to hear your stories all night long / might feel wrong but this turns me on" part a bit... Yeh......

Fri, Mar 22 '24 - 12:05AM [lfm]

oh man im down bad

this thought is about the crush situation ive been within w a friend of mine for a while now - it's chill slow in a nice way but this fucking song i got on is stirring me rn. twin by ouri. i did like it on first whirls too but i didnt really focus on the lyrics til listening to it via oli's u listen playlist the other day and shit really started hittin me then and now a lot of tonight ive been listening to it on loop...

Thu, Mar 21 '24 - 10:47PM [lfm]

advanced complex forms of telling stories huddled around fires

Thu, Mar 21 '24 - 9:15PM [lfm]

tranceparty.net radio stream has no rights going as hard as it does

least im going to the tp in a couple weeks lets gooo

Thu, Mar 21 '24 - 6:42PM [lfm]

workbreak agenda 02: consider rearrangements of some of the furniture, maybe

the bed may be at its optimal place, and the closet too and that one can't be moved anyway, but there's still decent wiggleroom for the rest, especially along the wall opposite the bed

Thu, Mar 21 '24 - 6:38PM [lfm]

workbreak agenda 01: rearrange the stuff on the wall, maybe take down a couple posters and roll em up for storage

Thu, Mar 21 '24 - 6:20PM [lfm]

seen on the walk home: first snowdrop blooms coming up, someone chopping wood, duck sleeping next to the stream

Thu, Mar 21 '24 - 12:32AM [lfm]

like pleassseeeeeee brainnnnnnnn i know u cant get enough of this guy and his creative output etc sometimes but u need the sleep pleaseeee

Thu, Mar 21 '24 - 12:31AM [lfm]

losing sleep from special interest flow mode again fml lol

Wed, Mar 20 '24 - 7:32PM [lfm]

really dislike feeling unmoored but at least tonight i made proper food for lunch to-go instead of boring-ass sandwiches which might improve things a little for a bit

Wed, Mar 20 '24 - 6:48AM [lfm]

feeling really muddied but the radiant cartoon smile gratitude from a couple days back is still there

wall of workdays on unideal sleep mode but im a lil excited to catch oli dj next thurs. amongst a banger lineup

Wed, Mar 20 '24 - 6:45AM [lfm]

rly need to go to sleep at an earlier time tonight tho

Wed, Mar 20 '24 - 6:33AM [lfm]

the dream i had had nice energy to it

Tue, Mar 19 '24 - 6:17PM [lfm]

more against circumstances and habitual being i guess, and internalized bullshit

Tue, Mar 19 '24 - 6:11PM [lfm]

choosing violence but not against any living entity

Mon, Mar 18 '24 - 11:54PM [lfm]

where the fuck else are these feelings etc even gonna take me. and what the fuck else is there gonna be on the album

Mon, Mar 18 '24 - 11:53PM [lfm]

sorry its just such a stupidly big gift to have a stupidly big comfort song and end up feeling warm over it a lot even after unhinged listen counts

Mon, Mar 18 '24 - 11:52PM [lfm]

cartoon smile (smiling tears emoji)

Mon, Mar 18 '24 - 6:37PM [lfm]

grocery run soon

Mon, Mar 18 '24 - 2:59PM [lfm]

open sandbox bullshit

Sat, Mar 16 '24 - 11:51AM [lfm]

gear reflectors on someones handbag thats cool

Tue, Mar 12 '24 - 10:51PM [lfm]

something poetic about how the old mp3 player (and/or the fact the file is 128kbps) seems to distort record crackle sounds a little bit to audible enough extent

(this thought is about beloved cartoon smile in particular, but reckon itd be the case w other instances too)

Tue, Mar 12 '24 - 10:34PM [lfm]

oh also today i found my 5th random shopping list on the ground outside. meat special, this time.

Tue, Mar 12 '24 - 8:59PM [lfm]

letting words and pictures flow

Tue, Mar 12 '24 - 8:47PM [lfm]

one of those ribbon bone by oli xl and instupendo on repeat evenings

Tue, Mar 12 '24 - 7:12AM [lfm]

a pigeon chilling at my window for a bit how cute

Mon, Mar 11 '24 - 11:22PM [lfm]

my body a dream for some people (to be like / to touch against) -- and at the same time, it simply is

Sun, Mar 10 '24 - 4:48PM [lfm]

one time after a music event, after i'd slept, i found rogue glitter and a bug in my wallet

Sat, Mar 09 '24 - 5:29PM [lfm]

the average mundane outdoors is calling me

Fri, Mar 08 '24 - 12:31AM [lfm]

like i clearly got to check out the rest of that persons stuff lol

Thu, Mar 07 '24 - 11:53PM [lfm]

super cute rmx of oli and instupendo's ribbon bone ( by the same person that did go tama go rmx of go oli go :,) )

Thu, Mar 07 '24 - 3:16PM [lfm]

extra long weekend mode

Thu, Mar 07 '24 - 2:14PM [lfm]

funny exchange at work today

one middleaged-ish man (talking about his experience w having grown sheep for meat): 3-month-old lamb, and as tall as my old lady/hag (unclear which family member. vanamutt in estonian)

other man that had come into shop (mightve known the first guy): with a face just like yours

the first, lightheartedly: (gestures) COME ON

Thu, Mar 07 '24 - 8:36AM [lfm]

could have an evening walk

Wed, Mar 06 '24 - 9:55PM [lfm]

changed my phone battery tonight

Wed, Mar 06 '24 - 4:02PM [lfm]

lick the satellite telescope lens

Sun, Mar 03 '24 - 4:39PM [lfm]

went like "fuck them" at bookingcom but the more on-site ways for the hostels i booked for the upcomin tripstuff so annoyingly unclear on when the payments are gonna be taken

Sun, Mar 03 '24 - 4:15PM [lfm]

trust the process

Sun, Mar 03 '24 - 4:15PM [lfm]

bite gnaw

Fri, Mar 01 '24 - 11:33PM [lfm]

seen the stars now

Fri, Mar 01 '24 - 10:28PM [lfm]

love abundance of pockets

Fri, Mar 01 '24 - 5:15PM [lfm]

fuckton of gulls above central tartu

Fri, Mar 01 '24 - 4:10PM [lfm]

checked nts radio's sched at random and spotted seretides mix goin on rn on ch1 smh i was in the MIDDLE OF AN ALBUM

Thu, Feb 29 '24 - 8:04PM [lfm]

condensing

Thu, Feb 29 '24 - 7:30PM [lfm]

fun thing spotted as i pull some of my tumblr reblogs offline so to speak (archived n then deleting): someones animated illustration of themselves, to be used as their about-me gif for their site

Wed, Feb 28 '24 - 7:27PM [lfm]

replaced batteries in the fairylights on the wall

Tue, Feb 27 '24 - 10:52PM [lfm]

foggy

Tue, Feb 27 '24 - 6:15PM [lfm]

delightful weather forecast for the weekend

Tue, Feb 27 '24 - 10:21AM [lfm]

how silly would it be if i made my official signature a papercranelike scrawl

Tue, Feb 27 '24 - 7:24AM [lfm]

weird love, this time w/ bugfixes

Mon, Feb 26 '24 - 11:49PM [lfm]

it can be weird navigating internet and proximity, for all of us. and communicating like “this thing means a lot to me” without going into “i need you to be my friend” territory or something

-truest bars from some1 ive chatted with a lil recently, a fellow huge olifan

Mon, Feb 26 '24 - 11:33PM [lfm]

today i got to pet a dog and immediately proceed to fuck up my knee a bit by accidentally banging it on an edge of the counter pretty hard

Mon, Feb 26 '24 - 7:48PM [lfm]

sometimes i look at this anon ask i got on tumblr in august 2012

I love the way you always smoothly slip out of topic when you sp.. I mean, type. It's like you're always talking about something that reminds you of something else and then you mention it (usually using these helpful little brackets) and suddenly it's a big mess of little things. And I love it.

and im still fucken like that

Mon, Feb 26 '24 - 12:31PM [lfm]

overstimulation bullshit

Sun, Feb 25 '24 - 10:45PM [lfm]

had underestimated the power of proper capitalization in musicfile folder sorting

Sun, Feb 25 '24 - 3:40PM [lfm]

touch of sun

Sun, Feb 25 '24 - 3:36PM [lfm]

just seen some1 contract excellent into xlnt

Sun, Feb 25 '24 - 1:11PM [lfm]

slim portable optical truffles

Sun, Feb 25 '24 - 11:20AM [lfm]

hunting for witches by bloc party is now stuck in my head from last night (some relative of my friend's was paging thru nearpast things on a specific tv channel that only runs recordings of concerts)

Sun, Feb 25 '24 - 11:17AM [lfm]

sneeks minimal essentials to grab for spendin a single nite somewhere else, besides the clothes on me:

phone, charger, wallet, earbuds, toothbrush. earplugs if at a loud event. snackstuffs and toothpaste and maybe powerbank and spare pair of socks if strictly at an event for the night and not a friend's place or w/e. Thats All.

Sat, Feb 24 '24 - 8:32PM [lfm]

bloc party on the tv

Fri, Feb 23 '24 - 6:08PM [lfm]

one of my favs things to do when i realize a word in estonian is made from wordroot+suffix is punt other suffixes at the root

Thu, Feb 22 '24 - 7:10PM [lfm]

the "This how you know you're way too drained" under a standalone upload of that one ecco2k oli xl unreleased song is amusing to me

(i did already take a great liking to that before the big era of rn. one persons "way too drained" is another persons "impending huge special interest on oli xl thatll overshadow any drain gang enjoying within")

Thu, Feb 22 '24 - 4:30PM [lfm]

shoutout to the bird singing outside rn

Thu, Feb 22 '24 - 2:13PM [lfm]

but this morning i managed to nail the oatmeal texture at least, and made enough for lunch too. with bits of bacon from yesterday. all good

and mom got a new sewing machine as bday gift how nice (i wonder if they kept the older electric one bc that ones small enough to fit on my table in my room.. :-o)

Thu, Feb 22 '24 - 12:48AM [lfm]

pain in the world, my lunch for work unpacked for 2nd day in a row at least right now (for these situations i have an instant noodle stash at work, but... 2nd day in a row...), all that..

Thu, Feb 22 '24 - 12:21AM [lfm]

but joy too... both, in the world

Thu, Feb 22 '24 - 12:14AM [lfm]

so much pain in the world

Thu, Feb 22 '24 - 12:11AM [lfm]

or to cross thru to the point of significantly regained emotional trust anyway. and have i ever..?

Thu, Feb 22 '24 - 12:07AM [lfm]

saw a vid/reel the other day on some brief suggested ig-posts foray, bout some1 n their nonverbal autistic kid, n joinin in on the kid's activities instead of forcin them to do NT shit, the gist of it havin been they werent ignoring me, they were simply waiting for me to join in or some such

im not nonverbal but its intensely bittersweet for me to see, tho i dont much know/remember how my parents were w me when i was a wee kid, but feels like it wasnt enough - and theres been enough riftmaking from their behalf in the later years that itd be really difficult to cross thru anyway

Wed, Feb 21 '24 - 10:33PM [lfm]

how dare you serve like that its unfair (/lighthearted)

Wed, Feb 21 '24 - 5:44PM [lfm]

if you live in like 15km radius from (redacted) you are entitled to compensation honestly

Wed, Feb 21 '24 - 7:06AM [lfm]

just need the damn album

Tue, Feb 20 '24 - 2:29PM [lfm]

ok these past couple of years ive had three big workbreaks:

  • patrick wolf gig workbreak (accidentally 2nd year in a row i could make it to one during bc he just posted tix to a lil tour for which i could make it to 1 if not 2 of the dates if i so wanted; april)

  • july 1st half (simply is)

  • oli xl dj set workbreak (accidentally has been 2nd year in a row ive gone to one during (if not two as was in 2022); october)

Tue, Feb 20 '24 - 6:56AM [lfm]

spectrum journey (traveling listening to oli)

-a friend accurately describing my occasional ways

Sun, Feb 18 '24 - 10:40AM [lfm]

thinking about how the 9am/10am sun would shine perfectly into the apartment i lived in for a couple of years during uni

Sat, Feb 17 '24 - 11:49PM [lfm]

the artist in question being metabora who ive acc seen twice sorta, once years ago solo and once recently acconpanying san hani. ngl would love to catch a solo set again bc i vaguely remember having enjoyed the one years ago but i was too busy for the event the blurb was for, this week

Sat, Feb 17 '24 - 11:46PM [lfm]

near got so excited at a stray mention of oli xl in a blurb for an estonian artist i wanted to throw my phone from the excitement what the hell @ self looool

Thu, Feb 15 '24 - 10:29PM [lfm]

an event in helsinki for end of next month got announced thats got a banger lineup including oli

im one contented goose

Wed, Feb 14 '24 - 7:37PM [lfm]

testing the wireless speaker my parents have (its a big hunk of a makita one for construction site type jamming)

Tue, Feb 13 '24 - 6:42PM [lfm]

such thick snowflakes rn redeeming the dumbass freezing rain the past couple days

Mon, Feb 12 '24 - 9:31PM [lfm]

spinning again

Sun, Feb 11 '24 - 5:31PM [lfm]

bite gnaw bite gnaw

Sat, Feb 10 '24 - 12:03PM [lfm]

gonna go to the library after work (after eating)

Sat, Feb 10 '24 - 12:03PM [lfm]

news: something something nato dude saying the alliance might need to prepare for decades-long opposition w russia something

me mentally: as if theres not already been in some way or other

Fri, Feb 09 '24 - 4:38PM [lfm]

birdsong

Fri, Feb 09 '24 - 3:10PM [lfm]

same kid also asked if we have banana seeds 🤣 technically we DO but its a decorative sort

Fri, Feb 09 '24 - 3:09PM [lfm]

two customers, tween kid and adult; post-purchase exchange

(kid entirely randomly:) "did you know you can grow persimmons in estonia!!" -- (adult:) "No You Cant!" -- "it's difficult but you can!!!"

n the adult sayin the kid's been reading a fuckton about plants in the past couple days or smth lmao love 2 see it

Thu, Feb 08 '24 - 9:22PM [lfm]

okay time to clean out the fullscreen screenshots folder

Wed, Feb 07 '24 - 10:40PM [lfm]

pants from something or other of the fabrics, one day

Wed, Feb 07 '24 - 4:14PM [lfm]

i like havin 2 days off midweek it's like weekend vol 1

Wed, Feb 07 '24 - 12:37PM [lfm]

looking at the courier van location from the map and being like PAKIDGE SOON (within the next hour, 7 stops away)

Tue, Feb 06 '24 - 2:04PM [lfm]

noise reduction mode

Tue, Feb 06 '24 - 12:31PM [lfm]

lunchbreak save me

save me lunchbreak

Mon, Feb 05 '24 - 7:46PM [lfm]

bite the world

Mon, Feb 05 '24 - 4:59PM [lfm]

nothing new under the sun

Sat, Feb 03 '24 - 11:35PM [lfm]

okay so i do have insta back on my phone rn but i only reinstalled it so i could clean out a lot of my older posts and my stories archive (as ive done once a few years ago too to be fair)

want to put up something adjacent, for showing some nice photos ive taken, onto my site, but i will have to see about the exact approach to have for that.

Sat, Feb 03 '24 - 5:01PM [lfm]

i shouldve gone for rogue intruder (always kicks my brain into flow gear)

instead i put on one of the albums i got off bcamp yesterday, as per a friend's rec some time back (donkey laundromat by yunzero)

it does go hard but i got shit i wanna get done but now im just sitting here Enjoying The Tunes w/o doing anything (mainly grocery run for cocoa powder cos im entirely out of it)

Sat, Feb 03 '24 - 4:42PM [lfm]

okay too much stuff

Fri, Feb 02 '24 - 2:33PM [lfm]

cute weather

Fri, Feb 02 '24 - 2:05PM [lfm]

load-bearing lunch break

Thu, Feb 01 '24 - 10:47AM [lfm]

lmfaoooooooo helpppp my mom liked one of my ig stories -- prolly more bc of the pic - its a cool pic, various footprints in the snow, peoples shoes, a duck, some non-waterbird, some tiny dog - & not the probably some others out there neurodivergently hugely into olis stuff but im just stupidly loud abt it text, idek how the machine translation thing mightve parsed that if she perused it lol

Wed, Jan 31 '24 - 2:19PM [lfm]

wonder how old the currently oldest consistently used and reused intact cardboard box hypothetically is

Wed, Jan 31 '24 - 10:48AM [lfm]

"content" still such a soulless way to refer to creative output

Tue, Jan 30 '24 - 6:50PM [lfm]

found a possibly perfect beanbag chair type for the cozy sitting corner conceptry of my room

Mon, Jan 29 '24 - 6:33PM [lfm]

Let Her Cook

Mon, Jan 29 '24 - 2:48PM [lfm]

sun out

Sun, Jan 28 '24 - 11:37PM [lfm]

tomorrow an instant noodle lunch day

Sun, Jan 28 '24 - 7:02PM [lfm]

but this now being past i could (& did) uninstall discord and insta off my phone again for a stretch of time

Sun, Jan 28 '24 - 7:00PM [lfm]

but i saw mechatok again - didnt talk this time merely surprised him w a lil paper crane midset and got a cute reaction - and the night in general slapped, and got to meet a couple ppl i kno from online :'D

Sun, Jan 28 '24 - 6:58PM [lfm]

skewed sleep got me fucked up

had a 2-3 hr nap but still feel like i need to sleep but 1) i cant fuck up my night sleep cos i have work tomorrow and 2) im STARVING

Sat, Jan 27 '24 - 11:28AM [lfm]

sun out

Fri, Jan 26 '24 - 12:05PM [lfm]

in my bliss when i can fuck around stocking n readjusting stuff in pure flow

Fri, Jan 26 '24 - 1:26AM [lfm]

deeply in my feelings

Thu, Jan 25 '24 - 2:26PM [lfm]

the weekly Fish Van

Tue, Jan 23 '24 - 5:28PM [lfm]

molt mode

Tue, Jan 23 '24 - 1:55PM [lfm]

candy in pocket

Mon, Jan 22 '24 - 10:21PM [lfm]

finally cut my fringe a bit today, had got a bit long

Sun, Jan 21 '24 - 1:38PM [lfm]

auditory hell

Tue, Jan 16 '24 - 10:27PM [lfm]

whatever i expected from today, hearing a mashup of daddy cool and du hast from fm radio wasnt it lmfao

Tue, Jan 16 '24 - 10:25PM [lfm]

estonian broadcasting service gotta eat pant for some of the news choice or nonchoice shit but their classical radio been playing mashups this hour as per at least this episode of the show currently on lol

Tue, Jan 16 '24 - 6:44PM [lfm]

helpppp i forgot to temporarily turn off the later-set alarm on my oldass phone in the morning so one of my parents had to (cos i have the alarmtone set to dnL by oli xl rn) deal with this oldass phone occasionally going like *chalkboard noises* *ambience* boringggg lameeee 💀

Mon, Jan 15 '24 - 9:57PM [lfm]

my mind specifically recalled this particular post tonight

had to hop onto my laptop briefly cos some of my bookmarks are on a spreadsheet offline

Mon, Jan 15 '24 - 5:11PM [lfm]

weather forecast for wednesday seems nice

Sun, Jan 14 '24 - 8:28PM [lfm]

life feels fragile. ought to enjoy all i can, best i can

Fri, Jan 12 '24 - 10:15PM [lfm]

lol just saw the word order typo in that thought, was too excited 🤣

Fri, Jan 12 '24 - 7:44PM [lfm] (tz: utc, mentally adjust accordingly)

it tosses an out of memory error when i press post but it actually went through wow..

Fri, Jan 12 '24 - 7:42PM [lfm] (tz: utc, mentally adjust accordingly)

holy shit - seems i can post thoughts from very very old my nokia 2630

Tue, Jan 09 '24 - 4:31PM [lfm]

and i feel overwhelmed a bit, too

Tue, Jan 09 '24 - 4:27PM [lfm]

i feel selfish

Mon, Jan 08 '24 - 5:38PM [lfm]

gingerbread?

Mon, Jan 08 '24 - 3:11PM [lfm]

did my laundry finish? i think my laundry is finished...

Sun, Jan 07 '24 - 1:47PM [lfm]

the stray alcohol/drinks shopping list has toonik x persetäis, toonik is tonic of course, but persetäis is fucking amusing bc it directly translates to assfull. assfull of tonic

Sun, Jan 07 '24 - 1:44PM [lfm]

fun thing to put on wall between art: stray shopping lists ive found on the ground (i now have two of them, plus i have some strat alcohol shopping list i also found on the ground once but that one is in my mementobox cos i found it walking w a couple friends in the city i went to uni to)

Sun, Jan 07 '24 - 1:00PM [lfm]

ok im good now (put on some of revanchist loudly enough to drown out outside sounds)

Sun, Jan 07 '24 - 12:48PM [lfm]

rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear

Sun, Jan 07 '24 - 12:48PM [lfm]

(the thought is about having to live w my parents still)

Sun, Jan 07 '24 - 12:48PM [lfm]

rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear

Sun, Jan 07 '24 - 12:47PM [lfm]

rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear rip tear

Sat, Jan 06 '24 - 11:22PM [lfm]

softly awash with excitement again

Sat, Jan 06 '24 - 11:35AM [lfm]

hesburger dilemma day

Fri, Jan 05 '24 - 1:34PM [lfm]

sunshine + snowing + -14c

Tue, Jan 02 '24 - 2:31PM [lfm]

[thought fragment] & everything else is just noise from unmet (socio-)emotional needs

Tue, Jan 02 '24 - 8:24AM [lfm]

no new morning papers anyway today but the postbox hinges were also nearly frozen lmao

Tue, Jan 02 '24 - 8:13AM [lfm]

no new papers in the morning the postbox lock has FROZEN SHUT

Sat, Dec 30 '23 - 3:21PM [lfm]

another year of sometimes not shutting the fuck up

Fri, Dec 29 '23 - 12:46PM [lfm]

mildly obsessed w the example actual grocery receipt chunk shown on the VAT change procedures sheet, showing where the new % should be showing

[part cut off], potato chips, half a kilo of crayfish, hennessy

Fri, Dec 29 '23 - 12:41PM [lfm]

raining

Fri, Dec 29 '23 - 2:16AM [lfm]

fucked up* in the crib listening to recordings of cicadas

*from how im gonna have unideal amount of sleep before work again

Thu, Dec 28 '23 - 8:53AM [lfm]

yearning for summer

Thu, Dec 28 '23 - 8:42AM [lfm]

aesthetic obsession

Wed, Dec 27 '23 - 11:13PM [lfm]

seen stars tonight

Wed, Dec 27 '23 - 2:54PM [lfm]

nfc (near field colleague)

Wed, Dec 27 '23 - 9:29AM [lfm]

retreat

Tue, Dec 26 '23 - 10:26PM [lfm]

once again finished with reading a book

Mon, Dec 25 '23 - 10:42PM [lfm]

things have sent my mind spinning (least not spiraling)

what new yrs plans does my closest friend have

theyre in the area rn i ought to ask

Mon, Dec 25 '23 - 10:39PM [lfm]

sometimes you're lonely enough you go to hesburger on xmas day and then have a round with one of the town buses

Mon, Dec 25 '23 - 10:38PM [lfm]

how to (...)

Mon, Dec 25 '23 - 10:37PM [lfm]

cartoon smile / cartoon frown / both

Sat, Dec 23 '23 - 11:05AM [lfm]

happying these fuckin holidays thru gritted teeth

(first fullblown day of period (Ow) landing on pre-xmas workday and day of having to lunch with fullish fam as per parents)

Wed, Dec 20 '23 - 10:45AM [lfm]

sun today rn too

Wed, Dec 20 '23 - 6:43AM [lfm]

hello 3rd time oli xl has appeared in my dreams this month. but this time that part of my dream was that he did a live set lol For Once A Somewhat Sensible Dream (though i somehow defied gravity cos i was able to float around? and i was mostly perched higher up, almost at the stage, and i took a cool pic at 1 point of the dream. and dude seemed a bit more outgoin wrt audience interaction but i swear it was him in the dream)

and another part of the dream where i was in (some differing formation of) the living room on one of the couches (there mayve been two in there in dream) with my boots still on? and i was explaining lux express's regular customer perks to one of my brothers when the dream ended and i woke up 💀 hahaha (cos he and whoever else was there were looking up about buses in estonia for some reason)

Sun, Dec 17 '23 - 9:39PM [lfm]

packed a mildly cursed wrap for lunch tomorrow... frozen grated cheese (we are out of regular cheese atm and i couldnt be arsed for a grocery store run), slightly off-smelling sausage... hopefully still ok digestion-wise

Sun, Dec 17 '23 - 3:39PM [lfm]

saw the moon too. waxing crescent.

Sun, Dec 17 '23 - 10:14AM [lfm]

sun today

Sun, Dec 17 '23 - 8:12AM [lfm]

cant freely function w my parents in the house i lowkey h8 it

Fri, Dec 15 '23 - 7:27PM [lfm]

small drawstring bags are underutilized in my life

(i have this drawstring bag that came w one of my (two, of which one idle) menstrual cups that i currently use to store mostly my wired earbuds - so convenient)

Fri, Dec 15 '23 - 7:22PM [lfm]

theres this rando skeletal snake plush wrapped around the frame of this bike in the staircase

Fri, Dec 15 '23 - 7:20PM [lfm]

wantin insta to stfu about threads app is a sign i gotta punt it from my phone for a while more

Thu, Dec 14 '23 - 11:26AM [lfm]

keep forgetting how to be properly balanced. keep feeling wackily off-center a bunch. maybe cos of lack of strictly local friends

Tue, Dec 12 '23 - 11:50PM [lfm]

today the hesburger dinner thoughts won, but so did the walking home from there instead of taking the bus thoughts

Mon, Dec 11 '23 - 11:52PM [lfm]

im so glad i downloaded the oli xl nts tate late live thing from oct 2019 as per this thought from when i first discovered it - it's entirely gone from nts's mixcloud by now aft it became unavailable cos of new licensing rule stuff on there

i can prolly only distribute it undercover via mega link tho lol, the one time i uploaded it onto yt oli told me to take it down. least it's not hopelessly lost media :')

Mon, Dec 11 '23 - 10:59PM [lfm]

hall of fame for this one person thats helped with several track id-s under my uploads of the oli xl dj set footage bundles

Sun, Dec 10 '23 - 6:35AM [lfm]

had a silly dream (in a nice way)

Sat, Dec 09 '23 - 7:46PM [lfm]

me: sees candies with lily in the name

oli xl sleeper agent in my brain: :-D :-D :-D :-D

Sat, Dec 09 '23 - 6:57PM [lfm]

and a rlly banger silkscreen artprint (by fatima susanna, estonian fella, all the artists at the fair were estoniabased i think), of the head of a borzoiesque dog licking muffin paper w some more muffins next to text in estonian that basically translates to your muffin paper had crumbs left

another banger for the wall fr

Sat, Dec 09 '23 - 6:55PM [lfm]

also got lowkey SUCH a perfect gift-idea item from the art fair for 1 of my brothers but Shhhh

Sat, Dec 09 '23 - 6:53PM [lfm]

i gotta figure out a way to Nonpermanently Put Stickers On Wall (2sided tape or 2siding regular tape by looping it prolly) i have so many! and got even More today.

Sat, Dec 09 '23 - 2:59PM [lfm]

tho sometimes when riding past by bus in non-xmas time ive spotted the bare metal support base of the kusepuu on their property

Sat, Dec 09 '23 - 2:58PM [lfm]

the return of kusepuu*

*theres this company or smth operating from the edge of my hometown that rents out portapotties and stuff, they first stacked up some (in green) in the shape of a pyramid and decorated the thing like an xmas tree a few yrs back and it made it to the local news in some form then. dont think it was there last year but this year the "tree" has returned. (kusepuu = piss tree, but also silly pun off kuusepuu meaning spruce tree)

Sat, Dec 09 '23 - 1:15PM [lfm]

lmao realized that in this typeface 'xl' looks like a More Expressive Face than in like sans-serif stuff

Fri, Dec 08 '23 - 9:59PM [lfm]

ebb & flow xl

Fri, Dec 08 '23 - 7:32PM [lfm]

how the fuck am i supposed to know this shit

Fri, Dec 08 '23 - 6:05PM [lfm]

least i got nice plans for tmrw after work

Fri, Dec 08 '23 - 6:04PM [lfm]

off-center in some rly stupid way

Fri, Dec 08 '23 - 1:57AM [lfm]

hv said i felt lonely a lot as a kid, implyin i dont as much now. but still do sometimes, though prolly somewhat of a different kind... mostly too busy w the mundane etc to pay mind to it, but still.

but also rn im just sad and hungry and omw to being underslept.

Thu, Dec 07 '23 - 6:32PM [lfm]

stuff in my room i want to give away; stuff in my room i want to transform; stuff in my room i want to have on display

Wed, Dec 06 '23 - 11:33AM [lfm]

50% thru with the current at-home leibniz choco kunterbunt stock

Tue, Dec 05 '23 - 6:16PM [lfm]

saw this hare absolutely booking it down a sidewalk

Tue, Dec 05 '23 - 1:01PM [lfm]

food safety violation cheese sauce, final portion

(had a thing falling from the overhead cupboard break the plate that i was using as the cheese sauce pot's lid, i did toss the larger pieces but theres still been smaller ones in the sauce 💀💀💀 gotta chew really slowly as not to bite into one)

Mon, Dec 04 '23 - 2:11PM [lfm]

comedy: postal handling stickers where they shouldnt be

fragile symbol on a door leading out of a room

Mon, Dec 04 '23 - 10:30AM [lfm]

for real though when do i change the phone battery. cos i think i can still squeeze out more out of this one (i think the initial battery had depleted to maybe 50% of initial capacity before i changed for the current one 3 yrs ago)

Mon, Dec 04 '23 - 6:50AM [lfm]

though i guess last thing i did before really settling to sleep was check oli's instag acc... That Mightve Done It

Mon, Dec 04 '23 - 6:45AM [lfm]

i havent had much proper contact at all with the oldest of my brothers in a while which makes the subconscious exclusion make a bit more sense for now

but why was oli xl there in my dream?????? lol (obvious reason: special interest haha; also hes round the Sneeks Older Brother Agebracket tbf)

Mon, Dec 04 '23 - 6:41AM [lfm]

slightly realistic-nonsense dream

like 3 of my (4) brothers and then oli xl too for some reason lmao, mostly in the process of meticulously deepcleaning the bathroom (like the one at home except it was larger n had a shower too in some corner of it. and at least the bathtub had somehow ended up very grotty hence the deepclean. but it was almost like the sort u would try get off of stoves. What Da He'll. also the place was elsewhere in town than where i actually live). at one point i turned to oli, who was dealing with somethin at that point, and was like hey, oli. oli. high five?, to which he complied. and it was some morning b4 work for me and i got too into beholding at my bros (and, as i said, oli xl, for some reason... but much of the time in the dream i wasnt paying much special attn to him haha) deepclean that i ended up running late for work (at one point i'd looked at the watch and it was 7:40, and then 7:55 or smth. i usually leave for work 7:30 and shop opens 8) and had to ask my oldest bro there to take me there by car rly quick smh

Sat, Dec 02 '23 - 9:59PM [lfm]

someone in a server im in has the same top song as me this year (cartoon smile by oli xl) but they have 8 plays of it this year to date and i have 1682. this is genuinely so funny to me

Sat, Dec 02 '23 - 6:37PM [lfm]

my phone's replacement battery is here. wonder when to go thru w the replacement motions.

battery health is around some 70% currently which might still be ok...

Fri, Dec 01 '23 - 6:54PM [lfm]

cocoon up fr

Fri, Dec 01 '23 - 6:48PM [lfm]

its just stupid numbers anyway

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 9:06PM [lfm]

one time years ago i sent to a friend of mine an instagram story of an artist i followed at the time having made some type of pin out of a tooth (not sure if a real one or a realistic fake) and the friend thought that my huge fav artist of the time was selling his teeth as merch 😭 so funny

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 8:43PM [lfm]

its pretty funny how phone operator ppl wanna offer me higher data amount phone plans if they get a chance - im on a 5gb one out of principle at this point. i Do Not Need More.

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 6:36PM [lfm]

agitation process stopped, for now

need a clear boundary of No Fucking Calls On My Own Name While At Work Not On Break cos already the process of having been on the call while having had said yes to the call w no customers in but a couple having come in during it was already a bit agitating

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 5:23PM [lfm]

correction: if its one thing i cant stand its uncertainty where i would prefer Full Fucking Clarity

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 2:55PM [lfm]

ok the delivery company for the stuff returns came by now. more certainty always nice. and more space!

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 1:37PM [lfm]

if theres one thing i cant stand its uncertainty

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 1:36PM [lfm]

the other call was about an order id placed for a stand for a hanging chair, for which for the particular place the fucking shipping cost wouldve been stupid.

least i have a backup option too, for a stand and some cheaper not-baskety hanging chair. committed to hanging out. literally.

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 1:34PM [lfm]

my brain is dissolving after having to take 2 semiexpected stupid calls on my phone while at work plus not knowing if or when the person repping my current phone operator that called me offering a 2y cheaper fixed price phone plan is gonna send the info email i need a fucking break (fortunately its around my usual lunchbreak time but also idk when the fuckers coming to fetch some stuff for returning to a supplier are coming by again and if theyre gonna return today or tomorrow (cos they didnt have the space for the stands the first time around) aaahhhhhhhhh)

Thu, Nov 30 '23 - 6:40AM [lfm]

think ive slept under 6h a night the past few days which is annoying cos dont even have proper time to nap bc of work tue-fri this week..

Tue, Nov 28 '23 - 5:41PM [lfm]

im just saying words

Tue, Nov 28 '23 - 4:40PM [lfm]

switching from a 11€/mo phone plan with 5gb/mo data at one operator to basically a 6€/mo phone plan with 3gb/mo at another. we shall see!

Tue, Nov 28 '23 - 4:36PM [lfm]

lüh right to repair

Tue, Nov 28 '23 - 12:18AM [lfm]

the quiet of the snow

Mon, Nov 27 '23 - 2:19PM [lfm]

got the lil bit of money for cancellin a flight last month back now (15€ onto account n 22€ as voucher cos i'd paid for the flight part from voucher lol)...Nice

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 8:21PM [lfm]

wisps of smoke

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 8:00PM [lfm]

but i have to try to keep it all balanced in some more gratifying way :/ cos none of my friends live within viable regular irl distance from me for now, i'd have to travel an hour by bus to see the nearest ones of them so most of my friendships are solely online at this point. though i do want to traverse the hour at some point next month, thought of a specific friend last night who i've not seen for ages whatsoever who i'd love to visit sometime again if she has time for that...

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 7:55PM [lfm]

habitual auto-pilot for temporary feeling, or sometimes phantoms thereof

if only it was easy to shift habit gradually not thru some big disruptive moment like idk dropping off the face of the internet for small while or something! but could rouse some small disruptive moments instead

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 7:52PM [lfm]

cos i still really would rather aim the aimlessness energy toward ultimately more satisfying things, like handicraft or some such. even just mundane maintenant shit. even just the mundane maintenant shit has a poetic feeling to it.

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 7:50PM [lfm]

have to move w more intention online... i dont like how i can get lost in the sauce on the web in a really aimless way at times. sometimes too weak to make conscious choices about all this. habitual auto-piloting for temporary feeling.

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 7:27PM [lfm]

rn listening to a live performance of om by sven grünberg (an album, electronic, from 1988!) via klassikaraadio

cool stuff. i dont generally foray far back in my general music listenin, let alone the electronic chunk of it all, so its always cool to hear somethin electronic thats originally been cooked up in the 80s or earlier on

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 10:02AM [lfm]

it rlly is like taming a wildass horse this

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 9:43AM [lfm]

ok look also my interim verdict (that ive prob reached already in past) is that Oli/Warp Gotta Get Goin N Drop The Album So My Brain Would Calm Down And/Or Wouldnt End Up Even Briefly/Subconsciously Fixatin On The Most Stupid Shit 💀 ive whirled rogue so hard, it's time

(tho ofc theres my backlog of stuff too that i focus on at times whenever i got the energy to discover nu tunes)

Sat, Nov 25 '23 - 9:01AM [lfm]

its so funny to look at the browser history on the main work comp cos of my manager not knowin the ways of private sesh - lotsa youtube on the days she's been solo

Fri, Nov 24 '23 - 10:57PM [lfm]

just checked my neocities site thru the web archive, and someone (not me, for now!) has perused the save page now feature on it on like two occasions - thats kinda cute

Fri, Nov 24 '23 - 5:38PM [lfm]

maybe my head's too full of shit and it needs a reset of some sort

Fri, Nov 24 '23 - 1:44PM [lfm]

but i would have way too much background virtual-sourced overwhelm if i had like thousands of emails let alone hundreds of unread ones

Fri, Nov 24 '23 - 1:44PM [lfm]

email cleanliness diligence that might be enviable to some

Thu, Nov 23 '23 - 6:29PM [lfm]

i saw a wild ferret?

Wed, Nov 22 '23 - 11:11PM [lfm]

maybe part of my brain intentionally disorienting itself to get Some Fucking Change out of me

Wed, Nov 22 '23 - 11:09PM [lfm]

feeling a bit scattered, or skewed, or disoriented. don't like that! but will ride thru

Wed, Nov 22 '23 - 2:43PM [lfm]

sun out

Wed, Nov 22 '23 - 2:41PM [lfm]

bored and lazy is the most stupid combination

Wed, Nov 22 '23 - 1:57PM [lfm]

ok fuck im bored

Tue, Nov 21 '23 - 4:22PM [lfm]

for once it is oh so quiet in my happenings emails folder (for event and travel tickets etc)

Tue, Nov 21 '23 - 8:57AM [lfm]

a tumblr post that im not gonna hijack on there: drainers used to be musty highly suicidal whiteboys now they’re all musty tranfags who are also highly suicidal

is me merely being on the spectrum the reason i ended up being extremely into oli xl's music instead........

Mon, Nov 20 '23 - 7:36PM [lfm]

The Maw of Heartfulness Is Deep But I Shall Confine Myself To Respectful Social Interaction

-a friend, about my utter appreciation

Mon, Nov 20 '23 - 11:24AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

sunny in my home-whereabouts today right now (just crossed border). so nice

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 4:46PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

some kid scooting around sitting atop their small rolling suitcase. would do that shit myself icl

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 12:54PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

i'd enjoy having a tree almost directly behind my window

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 12:36PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

also got this plush dragon from a grocery store near my hostel yesterday on a whim, white with pastel pink details, and rly soft, and cute cow ears, and it apparently looks like falkor from the neverending story a decent bit, tho i myself dont know shit abt the franchise but some ppl in a server i shared a pic to knew about it haha

there was some other colourvariant too, lavender with purple details i think, but ended up goin for the white one after some rly condensed dilemma (was in the damn checkout queue)

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 12:29PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

happy accidents: hadnt i and a friend miss the last stretch of bus on our way to the event we went to we wouldntve stumbled upon the cornerstore on our walk instead that actually sells usb adapters and charging cables (the friend had lost his lightning cable in an uber n didnt get it back, and didnt have an adapter at all)

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 5:38AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

so exhausted now, cant wait to get to bed

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 4:50AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

no big deal.. 🔥 its been a banger time.

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 4:49AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

i.e. i mean generally i do ofc but that goes slightly out the window with at least one leg in stupid hype situations sometimes

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 4:32AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

Think Of Others Too Sneek Will You

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 4:32AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

i need 2 be humbled more than this looolll

Sun, Nov 19 '23 - 12:18AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

one person just busted some real MOVES i love it

Sat, Nov 18 '23 - 3:09PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

excited

Sat, Nov 18 '23 - 2:40PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

cute sun

Sat, Nov 18 '23 - 5:20AM [lfm]

haha just saw a brief bit of the plane being rinsed by some elevated prolly remotely controlled "shower"-head with a light mounted to it too

Sat, Nov 18 '23 - 3:51AM [lfm]

the fluorescents in the ceiling have some type of metal mesh surrounding them, for light diffusing purposes i'd reckon

wonder how the layers of dust might be inside those tho lol, shit's real high up

Sat, Nov 18 '23 - 3:49AM [lfm]

just consciously noticed that the tallinn airport, at least right now and at least the main area before security, isnt all brightly lit like some places might be... thats friendly.

Fri, Nov 17 '23 - 10:40PM [lfm]

i havent seen clear sky in ages it feels like (probably like a couple weeks id reckon - been cloudy and rainy->snowy lately) im so happy

Fri, Nov 17 '23 - 10:39PM [lfm]

I JUST NOTICED THE SKY IS CLEAR (SAW STARS)

Fri, Nov 17 '23 - 10:33PM [lfm]

my outfit right now feels kind of inundated with stories/meaning - the best type of outfit possibly

  • boots i have on i first extensively wore at year0001 rift last year in stockholm, with the rainbow shoelaces that are on right now too

  • sunflower pants almost self-explanatory, but currently think of how one time one of the farmers market sellers pulled up to the shop i work at in a different pair of sunflower pants and i was like !! we match

  • shirt is merch for tutti ammassati senza affetto by arssalendo, which i sorta impulsively got the one time i saw that dude live - ended up getting a 5€ discount for cd+shirt cos at first i wanted just the cd but the person didnt have any change for my 20€ bill lol so i got the combo for 20 instead of 25 - and i'd pulled up to that event primarily cos of oli xl...!

  • bobbie orkid hoodie, and i sent bobbie a couple paper cranes thru mail in return just cos i could

  • the hat - an earflap hat i randomly found from home long ago and have worn a lot in cold seasons since - has remnants of the hat i was going to gift to oli in february but fortunately couldnt, and i was not 100% happy with the hat anyway (i brought over the little coloured decorations and the pompom), and unrelatedly i've modded strings to the ends of the flaps for tying together for warmth, one ended up coming off down the line so i crocheted a new one in place during a helsinki trip a year ago - said trip had me kiss a guy for the first time lol

  • the coat has a slightly embarrassing reason of me acquiring it, im not gonna elaborate. but it fits me better than the coat i used to have (gave that one away recently) and has a rly nice hood (the prior coat had none) so im glad i ended up getting it

Fri, Nov 17 '23 - 9:48PM [lfm]

the roadside, lit by a trailing vehicle's headlights

Fri, Nov 17 '23 - 7:49PM [lfm]

if theres a will theres definitely a way

Fri, Nov 17 '23 - 5:30PM [lfm]

unavoidable glitter szn in full swing

Fri, Nov 17 '23 - 7:12AM [lfm]

(cowboy allstar, to be more exact)

Fri, Nov 17 '23 - 7:09AM [lfm]

vegyn stuck in my head

Thu, Nov 16 '23 - 7:22AM [lfm]

decadent stupidity of having potato chips (with dip) for breakfast

we continue to be out of cheese i might have to go buy some today

Mon, Nov 13 '23 - 12:39PM [lfm]

its really a challenge, Doing Things Tired.

Sat, Nov 11 '23 - 5:34PM [lfm]

gingerbread dough: done :^D

Sat, Nov 11 '23 - 12:13AM [lfm]

miniorchid status, as i've not stated it for a while: it's got a total of 4 new flower stems coming up right now... 🥹 and i just realized i've had it for around a year now aww

Sat, Nov 11 '23 - 12:09AM [lfm]

the other day i saw 4 cats on the same walk (two indoors at a window, one at the gate of a house, one loafing on the outside of a window off street)

and i think yesterday on my way home i saw like 3-4 ppl (i forget) walking a total of 4 dogs on the same small stretch of path

Fri, Nov 10 '23 - 7:40PM [lfm]

lowkey still cant get over how the oli loop of the locked grooves comp is so very distinctly oli even as a single fucken 1.8sec bar cos of all the elements of it lmao

and could well likely say the same about some of the others on there but not well versed enough on the rest haha

Thu, Nov 09 '23 - 8:22PM [lfm]

have been having a stash of a bunch of unofficial oli xl remixes/flips/mashups, though a bunch of them still unlistened, but theres currently a couple i've rlly enjoyed

Thu, Nov 09 '23 - 7:47PM [lfm]

also the other day a silent mutual sent me a dm saying how theyve discovered so much good music thru my bandcamp collection (they said theyve thought they should ask music recs from me but then look at my bc and that already makes them happy)..... :')

Thu, Nov 09 '23 - 7:32PM [lfm]

historical/mundane whiplash

Thu, Nov 09 '23 - 2:24PM [lfm]

fifths by ingrate hittin a lil different rn

Sun, Nov 05 '23 - 8:27PM [lfm]

i gotta cook

Sat, Nov 04 '23 - 11:49PM [lfm]

snail in shell snail in shell snail in shell

Sat, Nov 04 '23 - 11:48PM [lfm]

sometimes others mightnt understand. it's fine

Sat, Nov 04 '23 - 10:39PM [lfm]

when i was at kwia for the oli xl allnighter the only drink i got there was some sweet ginger tea - i wasnt bothered to drop 10€ on any of the cocktails (the teas were 4.5€). the glass mug it was served in was similar to my go-to mug for cocoa and tea, which was a kinda cute coincidence. and the tea itself was nice too and has now, by virtue of the event, preliminarily hooked itself to lick the lens in my brain.

guess i'll have to buy some ginger whenever the album is gonna be announced haha

Fri, Nov 03 '23 - 10:45PM [lfm]

i.e. what the actual fuck am i doing

Fri, Nov 03 '23 - 10:44PM [lfm]

ppl used to live without knowin (or while barely knowin) wtf happened beyond their locality im not really fully equipped to deal with this. feel kinda hopeless lookin at some of the current events. like, so fucking unnecessary all that

Fri, Nov 03 '23 - 10:41PM [lfm]

[my] life feels insanely frivolous

Fri, Nov 03 '23 - 5:33PM [lfm]

radio talking abt some world record: "13-year-old young man"

me: thats a KID!!!!!

Wed, Nov 01 '23 - 10:23PM [lfm]

someone has left sparse sometimes useful sidenotes in pencil in this copy of the book ive lent from the library.

Wed, Nov 01 '23 - 9:58PM [lfm]

my first time of listening thru incantations by felix lee started in the queue of a lidl in stockholm. n for now i still remember that fact

Wed, Nov 01 '23 - 5:23PM [lfm]

dietary regrets had (ate too much sugary shit now im feeling lowkey awful)

Wed, Nov 01 '23 - 4:53PM [lfm]

no room in a household may be safe from silly associations

Sat, Oct 28 '23 - 7:33PM [lfm]

super internally so angry at the world i could write An Email

Sat, Oct 28 '23 - 9:42AM [lfm]

haha the year0001 index wiki is in developing phase now n is accepting contributions from others... gonna have plenty fun cooking up some proper article for oli xl, after work tho

Fri, Oct 27 '23 - 11:05PM [lfm]

one day i wont have to deal with such (in future, upon movin out)

Fri, Oct 27 '23 - 11:04PM [lfm]

dont enjoy the chat im overhearing in the living room over the whole israel v palestine thing being at 11pm while i want to fuck off to sleep in peace n not be riled up over such

Fri, Oct 27 '23 - 4:28AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

hahahah - a "SORRY BUS FULL" frontdisplay on an entirely empty bus, near the airport

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 7:24PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

seretide looks like himself enough not to look too much like oli to me. success!

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 12:10PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

wow it's actually snowing at least at this spot

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 12:09PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

some pine trees with one or two yellow bands painted around their trunks

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 12:05PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

rode thru some place named vangaži (latvia), saw a pretty nice wall of graffiti along the road

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 6:28AM [lfm]

funny how my dreams mirror my rl sometimes

dream description wordvomit ahead, while i still remember it

dreamt i caught malibu, oli xl, some others at some event idk where, some nonspecific two-room venue with a bar, and maybe the event was across a couple days and malibu and oli were on different days (at least different times, anyway). i remember i wore the shirt i actually have on rn in the dream too (or some variation thereof) cos someone complimented it during the oli set in the dream haha, or how the green bit of the design shifted in the rgb light. but i was somewhy away for most of his set lol but did hang around after for a while, mostly silently, cos seemed like oli's set had been the last one in that room for the night but some stuff was goin on in the other still. at one point in the dream, as i was for some reason sat atop a couple lifted-up-on-their-side oversized pallets (?!?) to the side and as he was offstage tinkering on smth, i uttered to him something like hey...its funny, i think of a lot i wanna say to you but tend to be too shy to actually say much to you in real life. n a bit later i somehow comically hopped off the giant af pallets and plopped onto the small stagebit, softening my fall. haha

its kinda funny cos actually gonna see malibu live today, albeit at a bigger venue, and alongside evian christ and dj billybool

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 12:56AM [lfm]

peace restored...currently

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 12:51AM [lfm]

it's fully personal btw fuckem srry

NOT gonna bring it up w em tho i cant (mentally)afford such high-stakes shit

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 12:48AM [lfm]

+ the occasions when the cig smell wafts from the other end of the apartment to my room uugghhhhhhhhhhh (not this time but uuggghhh)

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 12:47AM [lfm]

also look i dont shame ppl for being addicted to shit for reasons mby beyond their control but find [redactedperson] smokin so annoyinggggg n hearin them cough disgustssss me sensorily etc i dont like this at all at All i wish theyd quit that shitttt

Thu, Oct 26 '23 - 12:44AM [lfm]

want to phase out of my body rn for auditory etc reasons glad im gonna be away for 1.5 days

Wed, Oct 25 '23 - 4:36PM [lfm]

and bus to the station id catch the thameslink from would only save like 5min time compared to walking so i may well just walk for the 25min lmfao

Wed, Oct 25 '23 - 4:34PM [lfm]

gonna have to leave the hostel im gonna stay in (in ldn tomorrow) at pretty much 3am on fri for 1.5h transit for 6am flight ouggghhhhh

but gonna be worth it i think.

Wed, Oct 25 '23 - 11:50AM [lfm]

workstate: no invoices, no emails, no calls

Wed, Oct 25 '23 - 9:58AM [lfm]

still also have the choc candy with vana tallinn liqueur filling that one of the farmers market sellers gave me i think last summer for changing the sticker roll in their price sticker gun

ought to open the thing, its best before passed this summer lmao

Wed, Oct 25 '23 - 9:50AM [lfm]

some different recurring older man customer gave me a pair of woollen mittens he'd apparently got 2nd-hand for a couple euros a while back but just had sitting around cos of not fitting stylewise. now that's a bit more my speed than candy lmao

the mitts seem warm enough (esp if to layer w gloves) so the aforementioned couple of euros already a crazy steal

Tue, Oct 24 '23 - 11:32PM [lfm]

highly dangerous when some thirsty chunk in my brain breaches containment within there n bumps against other shit in there lmao

i refuse to elaborate

Sat, Oct 21 '23 - 3:10PM [lfm]

like i dont even seem to have that issue with the regular genres of social media, cos i seem to be better at recognizing info-overwhelm from those. plus the issue where i mainly communicate w some of my friends via disc haha, wish there was some legitimate lite version where u could just shut off servers-access for urself without too much fiddling, and have just the dm-s.

Sat, Oct 21 '23 - 3:06PM [lfm]

also discord overwhelms me these days and i rly dont like how my willpower is rather weak re just briefly peeping into servers n not stickin around to the point of social overwhelm n possible irl-negligence - nothing major it just feels super annoying when i sink time into that instead of something creative or suchlike - tho ofc it can be nice to just yarn with ppl a lil but, everything in moderation y'know

Sat, Oct 21 '23 - 2:52PM [lfm]

omg some1 here has a toasted marshmallow type coated pomeranian

Sat, Oct 21 '23 - 1:58PM [lfm]

devil-on-shoulder rationale of "its just barely 1 hours worth of ur wage to go get a burgermeal"

Sat, Oct 21 '23 - 1:30PM [lfm]

cheers to the old dude that asked me to turn down the radio earlier today to make a phone call while being able to actually hear it...feels less overwhelming to have the radio on more quietly

Sat, Oct 21 '23 - 9:41AM [lfm]

greeting on the offensive

Fri, Oct 20 '23 - 5:08PM [lfm]

think i need to get a walk in to not feel so flat

Fri, Oct 20 '23 - 4:56PM [lfm]

feeling flat today

Thu, Oct 19 '23 - 5:42PM [lfm]

never underestimate the pleasure of a new mop

Thu, Oct 19 '23 - 4:50PM [lfm]

ok! i got that to work too. amazing

(might tweak the colour in here cos of the thinner typeface...)

Thu, Oct 19 '23 - 2:49PM [lfm]

next step: fuck around and find out if i can port the seasonal coloring from my neocities over to here with some magic lol

Thu, Oct 19 '23 - 2:45PM [lfm]

the three top predictive text recos for my mobile browser's address bar... flight( rising), in(stagram), and last but not least, x-l.love (self-explanatory)

Wed, Oct 18 '23 - 1:52PM [lfm]

i gotta clean up the code later tho...

Wed, Oct 18 '23 - 1:49PM [lfm]

yessss i got the last.fm links dating the 24h prior to each thought here to work properly instead of having to peruse some static starting timestamp (last.fm links can take unix timestamps as dates; had to google a bunch cos struggled with doing the maths within the jinja/nunjucks/whatever chunk at first lol)

Tue, Oct 17 '23 - 8:22PM [lfm]

i got rather little idea about how to use the 2nd of my plastic storage boxes, it tends to leave a bit of a strange (stale?) smell on things, or i'd use it for yarn. but some ideas brewing nonetheless.

Mon, Oct 16 '23 - 4:56PM [lfm]

resting day

Sun, Oct 15 '23 - 10:10PM [lfm]

its rly crazy tho, i didnt expect at all that i'd catch an oliset this workbreak until wednesday! but im rly glad. <3

Sun, Oct 15 '23 - 10:14AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

ok i somehow had it in mind i'd miss my bus by the skin of my teeth w the later ferry but the bus leaves half an hour later than i'd somehow misremembered - whew

Sun, Oct 15 '23 - 9:53AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

YOU ONLY MAKE SOME MISTAKES FUCKING ONCE

(LOOK AT WHICH FUCKING PORT THE FERRY LEAVES FROM NEXT TIME AARHG%GGGG)

Sun, Oct 15 '23 - 4:40AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

🥹🥲

Sun, Oct 15 '23 - 4:38AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

every time i have a cute moment/time of connection the cartoon smile onion in my heart grows another little layer.

genuinely a bit ridiculous (mostly cos of the playcount by now) how that's kind of become the go-to song for warm connection-moment reminiscing n sometimes miscellaneous life-appreciating and such for me, but it's also... very very sweet. bright glow within.

<3

(though im currently listening to my brief minutelong recording from the beginning of oli's aug 2022 ghent set, with most likely an unrelease of his own thats still alive too and may be on the album cos he played it last night too <3 this one's less reminisce-y n just simply rlly life-affirming to me in a sense - this past summer i had some walks where i listened to only that on loop and it was really sweet. so. like. can u lot see how lick the lens might deadass be able to cleansweep being aotdecade for me)

Sat, Oct 14 '23 - 6:41PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Helsinki)

(as in, caught an allnightish dj set of oli xl's where he also tucked some ltl tunes between other stuff)

im sleepy enough that some of me is just like Wanna Hug The Album

was too shy to ask for if hug from oli this time til after he'd disappeared haha

Sat, Oct 14 '23 - 10:53AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

i almost forget how the yet-unreleased lick-the-lens-like tracks sound now but i found em all nice...! have a good feeling about this album

Sat, Oct 14 '23 - 2:42AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

Right-Hand Pistachio Eater

Thu, Oct 12 '23 - 3:00PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

Ok Sneek Focus On Vegyn Today Let The Tomorrow Unravel Itself Tomorrow

Thu, Oct 12 '23 - 10:13AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

ok so. tesco/sainsburys time cos those two the closest

Thu, Oct 12 '23 - 9:34AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

excited and nervous at the same time

Wed, Oct 11 '23 - 10:27AM [lfm]

and just like that i'm now in latvia

Wed, Oct 11 '23 - 10:25AM [lfm]

teddy bears sat on a street-facing first-floor window

Wed, Oct 11 '23 - 8:15AM [lfm]

crows and gulls both dwelling at the jail fences

Wed, Oct 11 '23 - 6:18AM [lfm]

might be a good day when u get a nice song stuck in ur head literally a couple minutes after waking

Mon, Oct 09 '23 - 11:25AM [lfm]

shift

Sun, Oct 08 '23 - 2:02PM [lfm]

bogos binted

Sun, Oct 08 '23 - 12:10AM [lfm]

i think im gonna have a small estonian tv blooper watching marathon

Sat, Oct 07 '23 - 1:20PM [lfm]

focken WINDY

Fri, Oct 06 '23 - 9:14PM [lfm]

aka i might just switch to the refurb s10 i bought for some goddam reason this summer (230€ only...!) for the duration of the trips at least, cos it has dual sim unlike my s7

Fri, Oct 06 '23 - 9:12PM [lfm]

think ill get a uk sim card on the coming london trip cos it aint even funny at this point. just need to research a bit more n gauge for options

the alternative would be 12€ for 0.5gb roaming data for 24h which is bullshit (fuck u brexit; my phone plan has eu-inclusive data)

Fri, Oct 06 '23 - 9:10PM [lfm]

also tomorrows workday left and then ill be on the lil workbreak YIPPIE YAHOO

Fri, Oct 06 '23 - 9:09PM [lfm]

still lowkey wish i coulda gone to the thing in oslo in april with oli and ingrate in the lineup?! but also dont mind not havin been able to cos of work

listening to the new ingrate ep, enjoying it

Wed, Oct 04 '23 - 10:29PM [lfm]

tonight a "wtf so much sick music out there" typa night (as i vaguely bumble through my local files library)

Wed, Oct 04 '23 - 2:09PM [lfm]

like deadass the thermometers we sell are showing 27c!!! and just bout the same if not warmer in the breakroom and the toilet lol

Wed, Oct 04 '23 - 2:03PM [lfm]

intensely funny situation at this point of the day: the heating is on too hard at work

(was annoyed at this in the morning cos sweating at the slightest physical activity, but now that the guy overseeing the heating stuff is aware of it and will try to fix the dial not working it's mostly just funny, though a fix would be appreciable)

Sat, Sep 30 '23 - 11:12PM [lfm]

poodle-licked face

Sat, Sep 30 '23 - 3:04PM [lfm]

recharging

Sat, Sep 30 '23 - 7:09AM [lfm]

one week til the lil workbreak

Tue, Sep 26 '23 - 8:57AM [lfm]

weirdly looking forward to winter

Mon, Sep 25 '23 - 10:35PM [lfm]

feeling fragile tonight

Fri, Sep 22 '23 - 4:53PM [lfm]

once again my usual october workbreak is timed slightly hilariously well wrt music events

Mon, Sep 18 '23 - 8:14PM [lfm]

oh man im trying to crochet in reverse with nondominant hand rn to replicate a lil thing but mirrored, my brain..

Sun, Sep 17 '23 - 2:14PM [lfm]

time for some errands

Sat, Sep 16 '23 - 4:36PM [lfm]

maybe the true microcelebration is the carrots and strawberries ive eaten straight from my parents' garden today.

Sat, Sep 16 '23 - 4:33PM [lfm]

(10k on rogue intruder soul enhancer, if anyone even cares) 🔥

probably some others out there thatve rinsed this album to similar unhinged extent, but simply not nerds enough to have a lastfm account

Sat, Sep 16 '23 - 4:29PM [lfm]

want to vaguely microcelebrate this arbitrary as fuck listeningstats milestone coming very soon but im too lazy to reinstall discord on my phone rn

Sun, Sep 10 '23 - 12:37AM [lfm]

having go oli go slightly stuck in my head at the mostly-techno function this id a slight problem

Wed, Sep 06 '23 - 6:11PM [lfm]

wind's a little chilly but the sun's warm

Wed, Sep 06 '23 - 6:09PM [lfm]

clear sky anywhere i look. beautiful evening

Mon, Sep 04 '23 - 4:17PM [lfm]

and me on the way to the spa and sauna centre

Mon, Sep 04 '23 - 4:17PM [lfm]

wake up new evian christ album on the way

Sat, Sep 02 '23 - 5:27PM [lfm]

hyperfix/spin sleeper cell being tripped at any stray mention god damn it

Sat, Sep 02 '23 - 2:48PM [lfm]

what would i be like were everything the same(ish) except i were born like 15 yrs later than i did (and whatever else would have to be diff for this to be possible enough). would i too be an ipad kid

Fri, Sep 01 '23 - 9:09PM [lfm]

To Ball Or Not To Ball..

Tue, Aug 29 '23 - 9:15PM [lfm]

starting to get dark round 9pm again (esp when cloudy), helps in the quest of trying to go to bed around 10pm more oft

Mon, Aug 28 '23 - 11:29PM [lfm]

have mostly forgotten right now how cartoon smile feels in winter, or how stuff feels in winter in general. and to be fair dont know how the coming winter will be weatherwise yet

Sat, Aug 26 '23 - 4:38PM [lfm]

admirer-customer method: not even needing to buy candy cos that silly man will occasionally bring a box of candies as gift

Thu, Aug 24 '23 - 8:33PM [lfm]

focus loss [temporary]

Mon, Aug 21 '23 - 8:06PM [lfm]

oh ya also oli xl teased a bit of his upcoming album tracklisting or whatever the other day on his ig story...some banger titles on there

like...drifter regalia...

Mon, Aug 21 '23 - 7:50PM [lfm]

the lunch i'd packed may have been slightly off....mild temp health debuff feelslike

Sat, Aug 19 '23 - 5:36PM [lfm]

lil obsessed with 3:13 in the libertine by patrick wolf, when the percussion drops out for a sec, so hot

Sat, Aug 19 '23 - 2:16PM [lfm]

iglooghost album on the near horizon we are so back

Fri, Aug 18 '23 - 11:10AM [lfm]

my mind annoyingly cartwheelsy right now lol

Thu, Aug 17 '23 - 8:45PM [lfm]

richer by one nephew as of today, cant wait to shill my music taste to the kid (jk that brother of mine has pretty solid semi-overlapping-w-me music taste LMAO)

Thu, Aug 17 '23 - 2:01AM [lfm]

2am... one of my fav acnh hourly musics + one of my least fav times of ending up settling to sleep before a workday

Sun, Aug 13 '23 - 2:26PM [lfm]

dumbassery

Fri, Aug 11 '23 - 12:56PM [lfm]

ok so moa tweeted bout finishing the album, if its dropping before lick the lens does im suing the year 2022 and warp records

(halfjoke; the mfers apparently have evian christ album lined up a couple months from now and i guess they dont wanna drop electronic mfers too close to each other but still cmon LET US EATTTT)

Thu, Aug 10 '23 - 9:26PM [lfm]

coziest lighting in one of the rooms of a house i pass by

Thu, Aug 10 '23 - 6:58PM [lfm]

and right now on one of them Rogue Intruder Soul Enhancer Walks

Thu, Aug 10 '23 - 6:58PM [lfm]

feels like sunday today. because of my time-off placings + having a real slow day off (in a good way)

Thu, Aug 10 '23 - 6:56PM [lfm]

butterfly fluttering along a fence for flowers

Sat, Aug 05 '23 - 6:24PM [lfm]

Communal fuel to the Sneek-fire. :~)

-a friend after havin given me a craft idea n me havin told em about an adjacent craft idea a different friend once gave me

Tue, Aug 01 '23 - 2:09AM [lfm]

too much

Mon, Jul 31 '23 - 6:29PM [lfm]

i gotta cook up a rym list of music that may scratch similar itches as oli xl this is the second a-bit-oliesque rec ive got this month i can't just let these pile up nowhere

Mon, Jul 31 '23 - 7:26AM [lfm]

slow brain

Thu, Jul 27 '23 - 9:22PM [lfm]

feel much nicer now...

Thu, Jul 27 '23 - 4:08PM [lfm]

feel so incompetent

Thu, Jul 27 '23 - 4:00PM [lfm]

my vibe got fucking thrown off so hard i hate this

Wed, Jul 26 '23 - 6:52AM [lfm]

overwhelmed

Mon, Jul 24 '23 - 7:08PM [lfm]

or, [Topic] News: There'll Be More As The Story Develops

Mon, Jul 24 '23 - 6:25PM [lfm]

sometimes u gotta be like fresh advancement yet, time will tell

Mon, Jul 24 '23 - 2:21AM [lfm]

more quiet more darkness in here (bestie's parents' place)

Fri, Jul 21 '23 - 7:41PM [lfm]

shadows of trees in the wind

Thu, Jul 20 '23 - 2:39PM [lfm]

this thought aged rlly funnily. paying respects to my whole moa pillar arc by being extremely fulltilt into oli xl instead

Wed, Jul 19 '23 - 1:42PM [lfm]

also cried again (happily) to slowed-down cartoon smile this morning gotdamn 🥹

Tue, Jul 18 '23 - 12:40AM [lfm]

tweet crosspost

1 comfort tune as well-loved plush (may 27)

2 comfort tune as sponge of sweet memories from even before knowing of said comfort tune + listening to cartoon smile really slowed, randomly thought about how i started enjoying burgers more after my university-time roommate took me to a more proper burger place one year for my bday, started crying even tho perhaps a mundane thing but SO SACREDLY MUNDANE (just earlier)

its overwhelming sometimes but, really sweetly so

Mon, Jul 17 '23 - 4:20PM [lfm]

cursed funny thought: unix timestamp as tramp stamp

Mon, Jul 17 '23 - 7:17AM [lfm]

well thank goodness no hard feelings in this case at least lol. just tame the big stupid wild horse of fixation

Sun, Jul 16 '23 - 2:54PM [lfm]

27.5°c, in the shade

Sun, Jul 16 '23 - 2:50PM [lfm]

feeling a bit feral

Sun, Jul 16 '23 - 12:41AM [lfm]

it's no end of the world.

Sun, Jul 16 '23 - 12:10AM [lfm]

art v artist separation out of problematicness vs out of vulnerability

Sat, Jul 15 '23 - 6:40PM [lfm]

dumbassery!!!!!

Fri, Jul 14 '23 - 1:05AM [lfm]

a little overwhelmed

Fri, Jul 14 '23 - 12:32AM [lfm]

shared this w a couple friends and one of them was like, ship dynamic; neopronouns even 😭😭😭

Tue, Jul 11 '23 - 12:42AM [lfm]

went to an antiques shop today, there was some typewriter set up and some ppl having already writ stuff on it, seeing "bruh bro u so bad" written on a typewriter was kinda funny

Fri, Jul 07 '23 - 12:01PM [lfm]

keywords of dream: cool lil vid; my parents bedroom (mirrordoor cupboardthing still there) turned tiny lil cinemathing; o.; stimmy

Wed, Jul 05 '23 - 3:49PM [lfm]

permission to rest

Tue, Jul 04 '23 - 6:41PM [lfm]

lesson is i guess i oughta think bout subtracting more haha

Tue, Jul 04 '23 - 2:45PM [lfm]

tho sure could prob temporarily remove the pedals and shit from some regular bike at first but will see

Tue, Jul 04 '23 - 11:34AM [lfm]

lol the way this thought indirectly led me (via this linked thing's intro paragraph) to discover there r adultsize balance bikes, might be fucking huge for my unable-to-bike ass

Sun, Jul 02 '23 - 2:07AM [lfm]

animal crossing new horizons rainy 2am music

Fri, Jun 30 '23 - 12:09PM [lfm]

maybe its a good thing that tech doesnt tend to break on me easily at all

wonder how many yrs i will end up getting out of this laptop (got it in nov of 2021). and if i'll manage to squeeze 10 out of my phone (it's 6 now, got it march 2017, and still solidly kicking after one diy battery change nov 2020)

Thu, Jun 29 '23 - 4:13PM [lfm]

dumbasseries of working at a shop: when a different shop uses your shop's storage room door bell as their entry bell 🤣🤣🤣

and its source was so ambiguous too help (i was like 'someones ringing the bell' the cashier was all 'its our front door motion bell' 😭)

Tue, Jun 27 '23 - 6:47AM [lfm]

felt lost in much of the dream i had

Mon, Jun 26 '23 - 7:20AM [lfm]

peopled out, need a break, need to rest. alas work

Mon, Jun 26 '23 - 7:18AM [lfm]

(whine)

Sun, Jun 25 '23 - 10:58PM [lfm]

mimetic (the oli tune) is feeling very fresh on a mostly clear breezy midsummer 11pm

Sun, Jun 25 '23 - 5:22PM [lfm]

sometimes indecision

sometimes fuck-it-i'll-ball

Sat, Jun 24 '23 - 11:35PM [lfm]

it's a bit/very stupid. does it even matter

Sat, Jun 24 '23 - 11:33PM [lfm]

still feel a bit stung over a bit of stuff

Thu, Jun 22 '23 - 11:47PM [lfm]

go oli go has been having more of a stronghold on my brain the past few days rn. so intricate, all its detailing

Wed, Jun 21 '23 - 11:05PM [lfm]

late evening bus; occasional lit windows of passed-by houses as dusk falls

Wed, Jun 21 '23 - 4:57PM [lfm]

and also heart full from all that n ole trusty companion oli-xl-cartoon-smile.mp3

Wed, Jun 21 '23 - 4:56PM [lfm]

parts of the state of the world may be ugly disgusting despisable etc

but:

today ive eaten some nice strawberries, am going to meet up w at least one friend over an absurdly long while today, and got to pet a really happy-excited dog at work (the owner was rly thankful we let em in w the dog haha cos there apparently been some discourse wrt letting dogs into shops - idc ill let em in as long as thems leashed and i WILL ask if i can pet (unless obv that unfriendly or a service dog))

there was some1 with a wee lil dog the other day at shop and i also asked if i can pet, they said no they Will bite, and i respected that ofc but it was so fuckin funny to see the lil dog all look at me from atop the raised counterfront w the face as if the mf wants pets (Perhaps A Ploy)

Wed, Jun 21 '23 - 3:10PM [lfm]

a wee bug is hitching a ride on my thumb while im on my phone walking home

Tue, Jun 20 '23 - 11:45AM [lfm]

but, energies be shifting always, parts of the world cute all the same

Tue, Jun 20 '23 - 7:19AM [lfm]

kind of miss the energy of last yr's lil trips for the oli xl sets, on a few levels. feels maybe a bit embarrassing to say, but at the same time not really, they were a big thing, as whole and as parts, for me. such cute energy, and things to look forward to.

at least theres lily mix 4 (radiomix ver) and the album to look forward to even while literally no eta on either of the two

feels silly to be a huge fan of someone sometimes. what can i do...it's my brain, in these circumstances.

Mon, Jun 19 '23 - 8:45PM [lfm]

for all the amount of (specific genres of) mind-shame i got i have little to no body-shame which is Pretty Nice Actually

Sat, Jun 17 '23 - 10:11PM [lfm]

[some place on either arm is itchy] was this a pesky mosquito or the sun?

Sat, Jun 17 '23 - 6:46AM [lfm]

two weeks til break

Sat, Jun 17 '23 - 12:10AM [lfm]

lots of warmth in my heart its just in unwieldy shapes, at unwieldy angles

Fri, Jun 16 '23 - 2:13PM [lfm]

sluggish

Wed, Jun 14 '23 - 11:03PM [lfm]

cartoon smile!!!!!!

Tue, Jun 13 '23 - 7:05PM [lfm]

well i sure as hell won't fucking stop if it continues bringing me joy

Sun, Jun 11 '23 - 9:52PM [lfm]

ill climb fully up (and down) the tall rope structure thing at the beach one of these days

Sun, Jun 11 '23 - 6:56PM [lfm]

swear my parents gave my birth certificate to me but where the fuck in my room did i put it lol

Sat, Jun 10 '23 - 3:55PM [lfm]

shoutout to vikerraadio soovide aeg, cute energy

Fri, Jun 09 '23 - 6:51PM [lfm]

loud frog chorus in the reeds

Fri, Jun 09 '23 - 5:10PM [lfm]

feel so stupid rn

Tue, Jun 06 '23 - 10:38PM [lfm]

i went on a walk yesterday evening... at one point i lingered at a park, looking at little bugs flittering around in the low sun rays thru the trees. and spiderweb threads glistening in the grass against the light.

Tue, Jun 06 '23 - 10:35PM [lfm]

possible inner lives of bugs n adjacent critters incomprehensible to us

heck, inner lives of fellow ppl mostly incomprehensible as well. only channeled out to very limited extent a lot of the time

Tue, Jun 06 '23 - 10:32PM [lfm]

smiling cicada / laughing slug is 1 of my fav oli xl tweets, such an energy

Mon, Jun 05 '23 - 10:34PM [lfm]

embrace complexity, + yet complexity might eat me alive if it wanted to

Sun, Jun 04 '23 - 9:31PM [lfm]

2.5 weeks til summer solstice.

Sun, Jun 04 '23 - 12:45PM [lfm]

meanwhile have got habit rabbit app as per a tumblr mutual who also uses it n has posted about it...shall see how it works 4 me

Sun, Jun 04 '23 - 12:44PM [lfm]

(pridemonth joke here about how i have a regular piece of clothing in rainbow and a regular piece of clothing in purple but none in light blue)

*the word for purple in estonian is a colloquial/semiderogatory word for gay ppl and i guess a similar case for light blue in russian

Fri, Jun 02 '23 - 6:12PM [lfm]

at least doesnt seem too busy inside the place or my brain would b fucking Tanked lol

Fri, Jun 02 '23 - 6:11PM [lfm]

feel bad bout contributing to fastfoodplace queue

Fri, Jun 02 '23 - 4:03PM [lfm]

embrace complexity

Thu, Jun 01 '23 - 6:45PM [lfm]

fucker with 62 small tins of cat food i really am simple maths final boss

Wed, May 31 '23 - 10:04PM [lfm]

it's getting late anyway, can't trust my mind too much at this time of day

Wed, May 31 '23 - 10:03PM [lfm]

not that it ultimately matters too much, just an unwieldy weight in my mind at times, of the thought that i could possibly be too much or something sometimes haha

Wed, May 31 '23 - 10:01PM [lfm]

is there even any1 else whose mind is being as heavily centrifuged by oli as mine, feel heavily selfconscious

Wed, May 31 '23 - 8:54AM [lfm]

banger choices at this breakfast buffet

Wed, May 31 '23 - 12:02AM [lfm]

if nobody in my direct vicinity got me at least cartoon smile got me

Tue, May 30 '23 - 10:32PM [lfm]

who up lingering

Mon, May 29 '23 - 2:28PM [lfm]

gladde paling (at least dansmuziek) has no right to go as funnily hard as it does

Mon, May 29 '23 - 1:06PM [lfm]

relatively spacious and sorted storage room, sponsored by The Autism™

9k+ listens on top listened album overall, Sponsored Also™

Sun, May 28 '23 - 6:32PM [lfm]

wanna go out

have to eat first

Sun, May 28 '23 - 5:47PM [lfm]

clearing

Sun, May 28 '23 - 1:46PM [lfm]

what the dog doin (and by the dog i mean the stupidly feisty parts of my mind)

Sun, May 28 '23 - 11:50AM [lfm]

brain fixatin the most stupidly it really is me tryin to tame a wild horse lol

Sat, May 27 '23 - 7:27PM [lfm]

halfmoon

Sat, May 27 '23 - 2:16PM [lfm]

some old couple at a nearby table at the local hesburger. delight

Sat, May 27 '23 - 2:07PM [lfm]

post-busy-workday head empty

Thu, May 25 '23 - 8:17PM [lfm]

gained back a bit in the sauce, and also ordered a waterpik water flosser. investment in mildly better dental hygiene era, im terrible at regular flossing (plus i have this post-braces wire behind my upper front teeth so...)

Tue, May 23 '23 - 10:13PM [lfm]

too lost in the sauce i guess

Mon, May 22 '23 - 6:07PM [lfm]

fuck around, find out...

Mon, May 22 '23 - 2:36PM [lfm]

how to uncouple present from past / past from present.

Mon, May 22 '23 - 2:36PM [lfm]

mfers of various sorts having n having had a place in my heart and bumping n having bumped into stuff in there entirely unrelated to each other n sometimes entirely unintentionally n unknowingly and yet woe is fucking patternseeking brain innit

Mon, May 22 '23 - 2:28PM [lfm]

how do u even shift ur minds emotional responses to select stuff tho this feels a bit embarrassing even while almost entirely contained

Mon, May 22 '23 - 12:30AM [lfm]

spiral near, tread careful

Sun, May 21 '23 - 2:07AM [lfm]

whys my brain cooking up a knitted sweater idea at the club

Fri, May 19 '23 - 4:13PM [lfm]

also noticed boris (the band from japan) is also gonna perform in tallinn tmro and the event ends just as the aforementioned one begins n the venues are a small walk apart...Im Going

Fri, May 19 '23 - 4:11PM [lfm]

think the newsreader on radio accidentally misread tööstus- (industry) as töötus- (unemployment)

mood

Thu, May 18 '23 - 10:50PM [lfm]

near 11pm, but sky, clear, still quite light (the sun set about an hour back, twilights long)... nice state to succumb to bed in

Wed, May 17 '23 - 9:11PM [lfm]

might catch the estoc nite in tallinn this sat...

Wed, May 17 '23 - 9:10PM [lfm]

#Waiting for #Laundry to finish

Wed, May 17 '23 - 9:09PM [lfm]

maybe lick the lens is all the selfies oli has shared on his ig story along the way

Mon, May 15 '23 - 8:49PM [lfm]

could prob be from sun exposure tho for all i know, the weird rash. been in the sun a lot the past few days

Mon, May 15 '23 - 5:04PM [lfm]

but jammin to sometimes by bloodidol on loop rn, been on a walk n chillin in sun

Mon, May 15 '23 - 5:04PM [lfm]

small patch of weird itchy rash on 1 of my forearms 🤔 idk if some bug or some other shit as cause

Mon, May 15 '23 - 3:07PM [lfm]

most of my roads currently lead to either oli xl or hesburger really

Sun, May 14 '23 - 11:58PM [lfm]

mind in heavy fog

Sun, May 14 '23 - 1:35PM [lfm]

first lilac blooms

Fri, May 12 '23 - 7:35PM [lfm]

& vaguest smell of 7pm bbq walking along a road into town

Fri, May 12 '23 - 7:34PM [lfm]

& someone walkin round w their big dog in the middle of some field at the edge of town

Fri, May 12 '23 - 6:10PM [lfm]

cozy: 2 big dogs sleepin side by side in the shade next to a car, in someones yard

Fri, May 12 '23 - 2:16PM [lfm]

wind's still nicely breezy though n not awful hot. hence not summer weather

Fri, May 12 '23 - 2:15PM [lfm]

godawful hot in the sun today proper latespring weather

Thu, May 11 '23 - 1:01PM [lfm]

looked thru for what i would want to get rid of in some shape or form (mostly w the reasoning of "i have em digitally anyway"), this would half my already very humble record collection at the v least

now to face my owning-all-the-пир-tapes loyalty face on, would i rly wanna keep all of them or just, idk, the ccontrary ep and maybe a couple more?

Wed, May 10 '23 - 4:05PM [lfm]

want to go thru my physical music collection but the gettin rid of stuff i no longer wanna keep around part of the process feels a bit laborious in forethought (would ideally wanna sell)

tho fortunately my collection rather small and humble, fits alongside my books in a cupboard slot thing thats perfectly high enough for 12" things

Wed, May 10 '23 - 4:03PM [lfm]

did finally see the pond fish yesterday though, cute.

Wed, May 10 '23 - 4:02PM [lfm]

get annoyed at myself sometimes

Sun, May 07 '23 - 3:30PM [lfm]

thoughts: none

Sat, May 06 '23 - 12:18PM [lfm]

massaging items into the storage room more neatly so hot

Sat, May 06 '23 - 6:51AM [lfm]

sun out. gonna b a fucken workday today, but tleast only til 2 and ill go get hess for lunch aft

Thu, May 04 '23 - 10:00AM [lfm]

pond's got a tiny dock on it too now which is cute

Thu, May 04 '23 - 9:59AM [lfm]

i got reason to go outside anyway, got a couple bags of stuff (mostly clothes) to bring to reuse centre

and maybe a tad bit of not-safe-for-usual-discarding trash to discard at that wasteplace which is a bit of a walk away but lit got nothing else to do w some of the waste

Thu, May 04 '23 - 9:51AM [lfm]

my parents got some fish for their garden pond the other day

got time today to maybe try sight em at a time that isnt the hella evening. and the pond's deeper too now n the water a bit murky so cant really see too deep in esp when no sun

Mon, May 01 '23 - 3:44PM [lfm]

head empty feels nice

Sun, Apr 30 '23 - 10:30PM [lfm]

clouds and stars in sky

Sun, Apr 30 '23 - 10:00PM [lfm]

genre of energy

Sat, Apr 29 '23 - 3:10AM [lfm]

this is entirely stupid

Sat, Apr 29 '23 - 1:56AM [lfm]

stupid waste of time

Thu, Apr 27 '23 - 12:29PM [lfm]

reunited w cat (solidly on my lap)

Wed, Apr 26 '23 - 4:47PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

slipping into estonia

Wed, Apr 26 '23 - 2:42PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

narrowly reaching the last bus from airport to town (in riga) to be able to catch the further booked buses all the way home. gonna be so much bus

Mon, Apr 24 '23 - 5:31PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

streams of rainwater across train windows

Sun, Apr 23 '23 - 10:44PM [lfm]

focus

pay attention

Sun, Apr 23 '23 - 10:43PM [lfm]

aimless bumble too much

Sun, Apr 23 '23 - 11:40AM [lfm]

one-day-before-traveling limbo state

Sat, Apr 22 '23 - 7:38PM [lfm]

perfect day

Sat, Apr 22 '23 - 4:39PM [lfm]

long strand of spider web/silk fluttering from a bush in the wind

Fri, Apr 21 '23 - 11:16PM [lfm]

altho i do need to catch a 7am bus on monday for a little couple-of-nights trip abroad but, thatll be handleable

also lowkey wanting to catch the preparations for or the proper start of this bigass rowing marathon starting from the local lake tomorrow at 7am, just to see out of curiosity what itd look like

would ideally want to sleep a bit before that but i'm in a mood

Fri, Apr 21 '23 - 11:10PM [lfm]

one of em specific-direction fixatey moods at something ive been wantin to start chipping away at. although it's 11pm, BUT my workbreak started today so HAAAAAA

Thu, Apr 20 '23 - 11:13PM [lfm]

waiting while stuff is moving from one microsd card to another (via my comp)

Wed, Apr 19 '23 - 7:52PM [lfm]

finally repotted the begonias today, 12 of them

Mon, Apr 17 '23 - 9:47PM [lfm]

could still pack the stuff with me tomorrow though, in case the weather and/or vibes seem pleasant enough.

Mon, Apr 17 '23 - 8:34PM [lfm]

the only con is that i don't use contact lenses and do not see clocks well without my glasses so i might lose my sense of time a bit haha

Mon, Apr 17 '23 - 8:33PM [lfm]

feeling like fucking off to the local spa and sauna centre again tomorrow tho i also did on the 1st already, but

  1. it's cheaper on weekdays (though the outdoor sauna isn't open then) and

  2. i'm getting off work early tmrw so no obligation to tell my parents cos i never tell em when i'm getting off work early, and

  3. i just feel like it tbh, felt really peaceful last time, and

  4. wanna have a more public excuse for perusing the really cute towel i got recently

or maybe i could go for the morning sauna thing on wednesday? got a day off then, and the morning sauna thing is even cheaper (though only a couple of the saunas open then, and the pools). and the forecast is showing clear sky for wednes morning...!

Mon, Apr 17 '23 - 7:46PM [lfm]

walked past some group of presumably teenage mfs commentin on my fit from a distance but i was too busy jammin to samuelspaniel from one earbud (the one facing the group, amusingly), only really remember them commentin on the queerness n flowerpantness of my fit. i just grin and walk on

otoh with some (different, presumably) group i walked past last sat, one of the lads was like "your [i.e polite-plural you] scarf is very nice" i was just like "thank you" lmao

Sun, Apr 16 '23 - 7:11PM [lfm]

and two of those workdays are solo which is nice, still a bit timid with the new seasonal worker tho we seem to get along and work together well enough haha

maybe i'll do the dumbassery of trying to print out never gonna give you up lyrics on one of the receipt printers 🤣

Sun, Apr 16 '23 - 7:10PM [lfm]

some... 3.5 workdays til i get a week and a lil off work, which could be nice.

Sat, Apr 15 '23 - 9:39PM [lfm]

literal infinite ways of existence

Sat, Apr 15 '23 - 7:00AM [lfm]

woke up w my cat sleeping on my legs

Wed, Apr 12 '23 - 12:19AM [lfm]

lil friend (cat) sleeps on my socks on floor

Tue, Apr 11 '23 - 4:10PM [lfm]

first lightning strike i spot of the season

Tue, Apr 11 '23 - 7:12AM [lfm]

nice lighting situation

Sat, Apr 08 '23 - 8:51PM [lfm]

at precisely this time 2 years ago i was, for the first time, listening thru an album that would ultimately become my absolutely most listened. shoutout.

Fri, Apr 07 '23 - 3:00PM [lfm]

resting "help my lips are mildly fucked up from inexplicable swelling" face

Thu, Apr 06 '23 - 8:43PM [lfm]

its super funny how:

  • i xlpost into most of my discord friends' dms

  • EXCEPT

  • i currently have taken to crossposting some ig stories of patrick wolf's two cats to a particular friend who at least used to listen to pw a decent amount but has been out of loop (tbf me too til semirecent)

  • i mostly mundanelifepost to my bestie who i currently mostly communicate thru discord with

Wed, Apr 05 '23 - 10:53PM [lfm]

well whatever the hell

Tue, Apr 04 '23 - 1:50PM [lfm]

so many pics+vids ive taken w my phone got like fuckin nearly 11k since 2013 of which nearly 10k since 2019

could be way worse of course, im a bit more diligent in clearing out stuff, but still so many

Tue, Apr 04 '23 - 12:44PM [lfm]

ms powertoys so nice, getting some mileage out of the powerrename thing

Mon, Apr 03 '23 - 8:25PM [lfm]

focus

Sun, Apr 02 '23 - 4:24PM [lfm]

pronomial use of 'bro'

Sat, Apr 01 '23 - 10:35AM [lfm]

@ end of april 2021 me generate a silly bingo card of middle school teachers youre gonna encounter at ur job

Thu, Mar 30 '23 - 2:36PM [lfm]

how the hell to even sort my bookmarks decently

Mon, Mar 27 '23 - 7:19AM [lfm]

mentalnoisy

Mon, Mar 27 '23 - 12:56AM [lfm]

(whine)

Sun, Mar 26 '23 - 2:36PM [lfm]

boring myself out of social media or some shit

Sun, Mar 26 '23 - 12:34PM [lfm]

(whine)

Thu, Mar 23 '23 - 1:02PM [lfm]

lol the mf customer thats kept bestowing the occasional rose n whatever (not much use for Those at Work) brought a box of strawberries this time

shoutout free strawberries even if from some mf thats been flirty at times whos prob old enough to be my father (aka Not My Fucking Type)

Wed, Mar 22 '23 - 12:10AM [lfm]

mood of the indeterminate ongoing period of time: kai whiston having several tweets that just say oli xl

Tue, Mar 21 '23 - 9:55PM [lfm]

also trying to squeeze somethin cute out of the written-off begonia bulbs from last year that still had a bit of life in em (from the shop i work at)

some of them might be able to pull thru

Tue, Mar 21 '23 - 9:44PM [lfm]

miniorchid status: plenty blooms ahead

Mon, Mar 20 '23 - 7:31PM [lfm]

feeling raw

Mon, Mar 20 '23 - 2:02PM [lfm]

first butterfly of the season. colourful one again

Sat, Mar 18 '23 - 7:01PM [lfm]

lick power a-to-z

Fri, Mar 17 '23 - 12:08PM [lfm]

some1 w banger leggings w black n darkgreen n Pink camopattern

Thu, Mar 16 '23 - 6:19PM [lfm]

rearranged apps drawer on my phone and now i keep opening the calculator

Wed, Mar 15 '23 - 6:07PM [lfm]

winterfeel -> springfeel speedrun

Mon, Mar 13 '23 - 7:54PM [lfm]

the 2 genders:

  • "(...) has a piece of my heart"

  • "(...) has a place in my heart"

Mon, Mar 13 '23 - 6:47PM [lfm]

should not be ignoring some of my teeth yellin at me like this

Sun, Mar 12 '23 - 6:18PM [lfm]

well damn!

my scrobbles for oli xl being at 19000

Fri, Mar 10 '23 - 10:42PM [lfm]

part of me wanting to know if the song oli was outsourcing laughter recordings from ppl for on twitter that one time is still a Thing haha (though before me-being-a-fan-time)

choirs of laughter canned on a hard drive or whatnot, at the very least

Thu, Mar 09 '23 - 6:43AM [lfm]

tomorrow off godbless

but for now gracefully drift thru today workday

Thu, Mar 09 '23 - 6:40AM [lfm]

keep having some song or other from the radio we put on at work stuck in my head

Thu, Mar 09 '23 - 6:39AM [lfm]

had a dream oli xl was in my hometown lol

Wed, Mar 08 '23 - 8:40PM [lfm]

feeling more ok today. hmmm

Tue, Mar 07 '23 - 6:37PM [lfm]

entering a confusing personal time, seems

Tue, Mar 07 '23 - 6:16PM [lfm]

full moon rising, thru soft haze of cloud. listening to malibu

Tue, Mar 07 '23 - 2:47PM [lfm]

action quiets the brainbees but at the same time the body+mind can only do so much before needing rest

Tue, Mar 07 '23 - 11:38AM [lfm]

infinite ways to exist in this world

Tue, Mar 07 '23 - 6:50AM [lfm]

(whine)

Sat, Mar 04 '23 - 3:27PM [lfm]

gradient of hot chocolate thats been sitting on the desk

Sat, Mar 04 '23 - 12:53PM [lfm]

boredom as potent force

Fri, Mar 03 '23 - 8:11PM [lfm]

in an attempt to see how i could shift energies maybe...

Fri, Mar 03 '23 - 8:11PM [lfm]

figuring what itd be like to note daily pros n cons, pluses n minuses in some notebook. rogue intruders n soul enhancers, if i may. rogue intruder, soul enhancer just too good an album title it's deeprooted in my brain, just like that.

Fri, Mar 03 '23 - 12:15PM [lfm]

got to big rest yesterday but one day off is not enough im back near my limit atm

Thu, Mar 02 '23 - 2:13PM [lfm]

part of my cat's purring briefly sounded like crickets

Tue, Feb 28 '23 - 10:24AM [lfm]

slightly at my limit

Mon, Feb 27 '23 - 4:35PM [lfm]

imperfect perfect day

Sun, Feb 26 '23 - 7:57PM [lfm]

from now on with any mildly unpleasant situation i could be to myself like "well it's no being bounced after 3.5h of waiting in berghain queue in shitty weather" ... lol

think the universe wanted to humble me after my sheer amount of uninterrupted times of catching oli xl dj sets and all (and maybe i wouldve been physically too fragile... sore throat, imminent period)

tleast still saw malibu live !

Sun, Feb 26 '23 - 6:48PM [lfm]

throat's still a variable level of mildly fucked up but the trip was alrite overall

Sat, Feb 25 '23 - 3:05PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Berlin)

slightly out of order

Wed, Feb 22 '23 - 9:36PM [lfm]

ugh fuck overly selfaware selfconscious

Wed, Feb 22 '23 - 1:06PM [lfm]

prev thought probably says more about my repulsion at the concept of actual parenthood and related stuff than anything else

and maybe at the timewastey scrollability of insta if i end up in excess of it

Wed, Feb 22 '23 - 1:03PM [lfm]

suggested ig post's caption be like "fur babies" "pawrents" shut the fuck up my cat's probably older than my parents in her own years if anything Shes the fucking Pawrent

Mon, Feb 20 '23 - 7:23AM [lfm]

oh yeah also i caught what mustve been the One Single Rome Bedbug I Hauled Home trolling me all this time the other week lmfao

(the singularness would check out from bite frequency, and fortunately it was a male specimen pfff)

Sun, Feb 19 '23 - 8:50AM [lfm]

u kno ur parents have gone terribly wrong somewhere in the process when u feel more emotional support from some pieces of music than from them

Sat, Feb 18 '23 - 9:24PM [lfm]

was trying to do an average everyday observations ig post but the app would be stupid and keep bugging at me. a sign?

Sat, Feb 18 '23 - 12:55AM [lfm]

good for not-this

something but not this

Sat, Feb 18 '23 - 12:39AM [lfm]

weighted

Thu, Feb 16 '23 - 5:10PM [lfm]

all the more love for it

Thu, Feb 16 '23 - 5:09PM [lfm]

i was aware cartoon smile has lil vinyl crackle sounds thruout and i was aware cartoon smile has fireworks sounds in the outro but it took me a hot minute and 4.5k listens to draw a potential soft parallel between them

Thu, Feb 16 '23 - 4:30PM [lfm]

toothbrush as a ritual object?

(src)

bathroom sink as... someplace mundanely sacred?

Wed, Feb 15 '23 - 3:25PM [lfm]

no longer home alone >:(

Wed, Feb 15 '23 - 1:49PM [lfm]

perfect day today. day off today, day off tomorrow. sunny. home alone currently.

Tue, Feb 14 '23 - 12:36PM [lfm]

getting silly amounts of joy from thinking about either getting hesburger or making the spicy ramen for dinner. mm food

Mon, Feb 13 '23 - 9:30PM [lfm]

fixations tiny and big as lil anchors of stability in a chaotic overwhelming world?

Mon, Feb 13 '23 - 9:22PM [lfm]

been letting rogue intruder by oli slip a little more into the bg in my brain lettin it have a lil rest, a lil ebb for a lil flow down the line

listening to screamer by babii a relative lot currently, necta goes rly hard in particular

Mon, Feb 13 '23 - 9:18PM [lfm]

glances

Sun, Feb 12 '23 - 2:39PM [lfm]

DAMMIT I JUST DISCOVERED OXHY PERFORMED LIVE IN TALLINN JUST AS I WAS GETTING INTO HIS MUSIC like literally the day after i posted that thought SMH

but tbf seen him dj and seen a perfo with the musicstuff done by him so not all is lost

Sun, Feb 12 '23 - 2:14PM [lfm]

i do enjoy 💥rng's energy even tho it mostly has very tiny releases, of like singles n shit

Sun, Feb 12 '23 - 2:12PM [lfm]

imagine the fucking potentials of a timeline where both oli's bloom label thing and samuelspaniel's boomerang label were active, and if they were to do some release or whatever in collab. fucking. bloomerang or some shit. alas this is not the timeline!!!

Sun, Feb 12 '23 - 2:02PM [lfm]

why da fuck we gotta be in a timeline where cease 2 exist is active and bloom is dormant

Fri, Feb 10 '23 - 1:34PM [lfm]

ebb, flow, ebb, flow.

Thu, Feb 09 '23 - 9:08PM [lfm]

its like

currently being rooted in hometown since having dropped out of uni (in 2020) while i was last like this til i graduated middle school (2013)

so theres this tinge of the simplicity that (my) life used to have except now none of my friends are in physical reach and i'd need to travel at least an hour most of the time rn so theres this vague loneliness to it sometimes

(though i used to feel lonely more often as a kid, due to being mildly different from most peers around me... and thankfully dont feel that specific kind of loneliness nowadays)

and also the internet feeling way more overwhelming now in a way... (got to be a kid on a certain estonian site, focused on flash games but w plenty other aspects incl social, which was shut down a couple years back - the heartbreak of such spaces not being able to survive as easy for the kids of now)

sigh

Thu, Feb 09 '23 - 9:01PM [lfm]

something about the thought of how in current times i contact my best friend thru the same platform where i can stumble upon at least vaguely vitriolic or otherwise unpleasant people in almost semipublic contexts that sap my energy (discord) while it didnt use to be like this (did the best friend and i even use msn/wlm to talk w each other? we used to be way more in touch irl bc of having gone to the same schools for a while until i dropped out of uni and had to move fully back to hometown for the time being) feels immensely fucking heartbreaking to me

(esp w the backdrop of having a tune on loop rn that has an immensely nostalgic tinge in its sound though it came out last year and i havent listened to it that many times yet)

Thu, Feb 09 '23 - 6:59AM [lfm]

dammit sneek go to sleep earlier pls

Thu, Feb 09 '23 - 12:58AM [lfm]

but tbf tonight i did also do some more productive shit so not all was lost to fixation hole

Thu, Feb 09 '23 - 12:28AM [lfm]

knowing the typeface helps (its the same as on his homepage)

Thu, Feb 09 '23 - 12:15AM [lfm]

chipping away at that easter-egg text [in oli xl go oli go single visualizer videos] in occasional fixative bouts, slowly

Sun, Feb 05 '23 - 9:23PM [lfm]

nice feeling: skipping thru fresh untampered snow to nice tunes at the local lake's beach

Thu, Feb 02 '23 - 9:51PM [lfm]

or rather to fully register that there is guitar present

Thu, Feb 02 '23 - 9:47PM [lfm]

only took me a combined 1k listens of ribbon bone by instupendo and oli xl to notice that theres a lil bit of guitar in the bridge bit or whatever it is of the song

Thu, Feb 02 '23 - 3:55PM [lfm]

what the fuck its finally still light at 4pm again (the change of seasons might b my fav season)

Thu, Feb 02 '23 - 2:11PM [lfm]

"(...) exactly 1.8 second tracks (or one bar of a 133.33bpm rhythm) designed to loop infinitely. (---) The tracks are often used by adventurous DJ’s and turntablists as reliable transition tools, but can also be enjoyed by the home listener with olympic stamina." internally crylaughing...the home listener with olympic stamina...me

(via this; i've been listening to of fucking course the oli xl one on loop rn for a little bit. it's very oli, even within those 1.8 seconds)

Thu, Feb 02 '23 - 3:08AM [lfm]

loopy

Tue, Jan 31 '23 - 2:24PM [lfm]

from yesterday's meandering walk home from work:

dark out but moon and stars peeking thru cloud, wet/icy wintry, but some feeling of impending spring within; walking through a block of apartment buildings, no streetlights, but some warmly lit windows; quietly singing along to the cartoon smile vocal bit as i walked and looked around

Tue, Jan 31 '23 - 2:19PM [lfm]

some slips but no fallin

(as of yet this winter)

Mon, Jan 30 '23 - 10:05PM [lfm]

mashup concept: peacewalker by moa pillar x (jet generation +) flower circuit by oli xl

could be quite fertile ... if only i had the skill / patience / energy haha, maybe someday..

Mon, Jan 30 '23 - 7:00AM [lfm]

clown sleep

Fri, Jan 27 '23 - 9:16PM [lfm]

sure doing several silly things at the same time can be fun but theres a calm joy in just focusing on one thing at a time too

Thu, Jan 26 '23 - 6:57PM [lfm]

slightly overwhelming thought, while washing dishes: every thing around me at that moment has been made by some people or others...

Thu, Jan 26 '23 - 6:14PM [lfm]

overcast sky, droplets glistening in trees against street lights, lit windows of houses along the street

Wed, Jan 25 '23 - 6:52AM [lfm]

couldnt sleep well but still gotta go to work im goign to phase thru . fuckijg. walls

need to go to sleep earlier tn

Tue, Jan 24 '23 - 8:17AM [lfm]

make that 5 friends

Sun, Jan 22 '23 - 1:02AM [lfm]

a funny fucking thing abt this fixation is how ive gone off enough about it that like 4 different friends of mine have asked me how tall oli is......... (i guess an inevitability when the artistname is oli xl)

Sat, Jan 21 '23 - 1:41PM [lfm]

but maybe that says more about me and my preference for more local shit if possible than about the soul of lidl

Sat, Jan 21 '23 - 10:57AM [lfm]

a customer droppin by sayin they swear by lidl n are glad one is gonna be built in this town too

idk feels soulless to me though ive only been to a lidl once. maybe i shouldnt speak on this cuz of that. i wld probably still swear by the more local chain options despite prices

Fri, Jan 20 '23 - 11:28PM [lfm]

gonna make it work

Wed, Jan 18 '23 - 8:54PM [lfm]

potentially sent my digestive system slightly to hell with rlly spicy ramen

Tue, Jan 17 '23 - 4:02PM [lfm]

lady with beanie that says bruh

Mon, Jan 16 '23 - 12:20PM [lfm]

fml aimlessly bumbling online again

Sun, Jan 15 '23 - 5:29PM [lfm]

experimenting with the timestamps on my thoughts page

Sun, Jan 15 '23 - 5:22PM [lfm]

i guess it doesnt help that i've shifted from age to [abbreviated] birthyear in most of my socmedia bios/abouts so i wouldnt end up forgetting to update them at some point down the line or whatever

Sun, Jan 15 '23 - 5:20PM [lfm]

talk of 26 i barely feel 26 i still feel 25 i dont know man. is it at this point that im starting to lose my grip on my precise age lol

Sun, Jan 15 '23 - 5:19PM [lfm]

kinda funny fucking situation from the other night: while discussing oli xl with someone in a server i'm in's general channel a friend who was lurking the chat dm-ed me asking if i have a crush on him 😭😭 not escaping known-person crush allegations even at 26

Thu, Jan 12 '23 - 2:53PM [lfm]

this music tying my sleepy brain into loose knots rn

Wed, Jan 11 '23 - 1:43AM [lfm]

some rare times it all goes to silly ideas hell or wherever with me thinking "lowkey a cross-stitch-decorated pillow w this would go hard ngl LOL" or whatnot

Sat, Jan 07 '23 - 5:11AM [lfm]

hyperfixation centrifugal mode

Thu, Jan 05 '23 - 1:52AM [lfm]

it's w/e i dont even talk to them actively anymore

Thu, Jan 05 '23 - 1:51AM [lfm]

slightly disheartening when one person has some kinda problem w something abt how u are or what u do while everyone else is ok with it or sometimes even encouraging to an extent

Mon, Jan 02 '23 - 5:30PM [lfm]

also my throat hella red and so so easily irritable cuz of some common virus so i guess work is entirely off the table for this week while i try target it w the antibiotic my gp prescribed me

Mon, Jan 02 '23 - 5:25PM [lfm]

divin deeper in the oli xl iceberg

Fri, Dec 30 '22 - 3:28PM [lfm]

2nd time as of recent that ive found out about the death of some prominent estonian person thru my best friend telling me about how they found out about it thru like tumblr or reddit

Wed, Dec 28 '22 - 9:52PM [lfm]

also i still had to bail from work midway today bc was feeling too sickly. resting now

Wed, Dec 28 '22 - 9:52PM [lfm]

also the funny thought of probably taking up a wee bit of space in lad's mind by way of having caught SIX of his irl sets this yr lol

Wed, Dec 28 '22 - 7:10AM [lfm]

at least just a slight sore throat and slight feverishness and less appetite... no coughing n nose fully functional which is good

Wed, Dec 28 '22 - 7:02AM [lfm]

bit sickly, dont wanna get fully sick

already dreamt i woke up late for work while a bit sickly n had to figure out whether to go at all

Tue, Dec 27 '22 - 7:09PM [lfm]

moa pillar being like 'but i need to finish my album first' in the caption of a recentish ig post of his, if moa album drops before oli album i Will Fucking Die (this is a joke obviously) Or At Least Sue The Year 2022

Mon, Dec 26 '22 - 11:19PM [lfm]

but at the same time, when i caught the rome oli xl set, oli recognized and waved at me upon spotting me before the sets while setting up, im never going to fail

Mon, Dec 26 '22 - 3:05PM [lfm]

feelin a bit solemn today

Sun, Dec 25 '22 - 2:02PM [lfm]

grant me the strength to survive this car trip mentally thank u

Sat, Dec 24 '22 - 4:53PM [lfm]

unnecessarystressmas

Fri, Dec 23 '22 - 8:32AM [lfm]

the biggest discount sometimes is when u dont buy the random thing at all

Thu, Dec 22 '22 - 11:58PM [lfm]

ok but what i rly want is a couple good elastic hairbands and some comfy boxertype undies

Thu, Dec 22 '22 - 2:41PM [lfm]

blew up like 5 balloons and now my left ear wants to Die

Thu, Dec 22 '22 - 6:46AM [lfm]

wake up to usual alarm and my parents.. Fuck ... remember i have day off today....Oooo Yeeaaa

Wed, Dec 21 '22 - 2:41PM [lfm]

kuidas tuvastada lonitseera austajat: küsi neilt sidrunhappe täisnimetust

sidrun 🎵 hape 🎵 2-hüdroksüpropaan- 🎵 1,2,3-trikarboksüülhape 🎵

Tue, Dec 20 '22 - 7:49PM [lfm]

but maybe its part me being overwhelmed by the thought of my own digital footprint

Tue, Dec 20 '22 - 7:48PM [lfm]

this thought stirs something within me

because I realized that when I'm looking at stuff on the internet - scrolling thru timelines and feeds - I'm not actually interested in what I'm consuming, I'm just passively experiencing other people's interests,

hmmm mby im grappling w a similar issue...

(altho some of my internet time is me gushing at others abt my interests hahaha)

Tue, Dec 20 '22 - 7:43PM [lfm]

sometimes its like, this is nice but aint sticking with me personally [re some album or other from backlog]

Tue, Dec 20 '22 - 5:44PM [lfm]

vegan junk food bar paperflags upon the hygienestuffs container of mine

Tue, Dec 20 '22 - 6:51AM [lfm]

dreamt of trains

Mon, Dec 19 '22 - 8:54PM [lfm]

but back-and-forthing with someone thats about as batshit as me got me dropping new phrases ever such as "dust nerve lily headcanon" and "in lifting oli xl we trust"

Sun, Dec 18 '22 - 5:43PM [lfm]

2 much hot chocolate

Sun, Dec 18 '22 - 10:51AM [lfm]

dreamt i was makin a snowman

Sat, Dec 17 '22 - 11:59PM [lfm]

intricate dance w life

Thu, Dec 15 '22 - 10:24PM [lfm]

what if i just. file down the amount of discord servers im in (tho tbf a lot of those im in for just the emojis)

Thu, Dec 15 '22 - 10:23PM [lfm]

flailing too much digitally

Thu, Dec 15 '22 - 4:56PM [lfm]

the densest regular customer award goes to [ ]

Wed, Dec 14 '22 - 8:28PM [lfm]

[popcorn crunch sounds] [funky music playing from earbuds] what if one of my current fashion goals is just [more popcorn crunching] stealing some of oli xl's swag but [quietly sips hot chocolate] more blatantly queerly

or: youve heard of bladee clones youve heard of ecco2k clones now get ready for

actually: no i won't at least consciously be stealing oli's swag but. fella's at least vague i guess fashion sense on occasion stirs something within that of mine ngl ! ! ! (well and i am already blatantly queer i GUESS ... fucking 'lgbtq pants' as someone in a discord server im in put it re my current frequent pair of pants being rainbow 😭😭 and all that)

Wed, Dec 14 '22 - 2:29PM [lfm]

feeling giggly rn hehe

an improvement from yesterday tho i felt decent in daytime but pretty shite that morning n evening but sometimes it just be like that tbh

Mon, Dec 12 '22 - 5:08PM [lfm]

need to plot somethin else for to-go lunch, pasta time over for now, dont feel compelled w the thought of more of that. wrap time ?

Fri, Dec 09 '22 - 11:53PM [lfm]

"early xmas gift" not like i dropped like 1/8 of my monthly wage on two different wearable merch things today after getting paid (one i'll get my hands on tomorrow, the other who knows)

Fri, Dec 09 '22 - 11:44PM [lfm]

obsessed with how this lil backpack-shaped charm i decided to get from grocery store toy section just about perfectly 1) fits for this plush bunny i have and 2) fits the portable bluetooth speaker that i have

early xmas present

Fri, Dec 09 '22 - 8:49AM [lfm]

shoutout to the newer workplace ups unit, was finally useful w this random split-second power outage

Thu, Dec 08 '22 - 10:15PM [lfm]

wok intruder pole enhancer

Thu, Dec 08 '22 - 3:36PM [lfm]

its funny to read back on my diary writings from like 10 yrs ago or so and see one thats like omg %fave_artist% acknowledged my existence, while by now im like Thems Just Some Fellas Too hehe

Tue, Dec 06 '22 - 9:59AM [lfm]

customer: compliments me being all communicatin n kind n shi

my introverted ass: OU

Sun, Dec 04 '22 - 2:52PM [lfm]

tempted to acquire some typa drawing tablet ..

Sat, Dec 03 '22 - 6:36PM [lfm]

my brain is annoying today. not sure how much of it is because of parental presence in next rooms

Sat, Dec 03 '22 - 12:45AM [lfm]

ahhhhhhhh ahhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(this is meant in bigfan way)

Wed, Nov 30 '22 - 2:45PM [lfm]

have been having this little memo on my phones homescreen where i vaguely rollingly plan out what to do on some coming day or other, accounting for workdays etc... seems to be useful

Wed, Nov 30 '22 - 12:58PM [lfm]

on solo days, at least... and gives a little bit of a festive air without straight-up being xmas tunes lmao

(got complimented by a customer for that the other day; i wonder what they wouldve said had they strolled in on one of my rogue intruder soul enhancer mornings or evenings 😭 tho havent put it on from shop aux anymore since being humbled some time back by one of the ppl from adjacent meatshop going like what is this music?! at liquid love 😭😭)

Wed, Nov 30 '22 - 12:55PM [lfm]

i like puttin on the estonian broadcastin service's classical radio at work, grates my soul less n stimulates my mind a lil more than the usual choices (and they dont only play classical tbf)

Wed, Nov 30 '22 - 12:54PM [lfm]

merry go-oli-go!-cartoon-smile-single-dropping-anniversary theres silly significance to this for me in a way

Tue, Nov 29 '22 - 6:49PM [lfm]

miniorchid status: 3 blooms spent and the other 2 on their way out too, but seems more coming up slowly surely

Mon, Nov 28 '22 - 6:50PM [lfm]

LOCATED ANOTHER PERSON THAT SEEMS TO BE FIXATIN ON OLI AT SOME LEVEL this is crazy i thought i was the only one...

Thu, Nov 24 '22 - 12:17AM [lfm]

watched the newest bill wurtz vid after a while of being under a rock re his more recent uploads... rlly liked it

Wed, Nov 23 '22 - 6:50PM [lfm]

the gender-nonspecific craving to clear out my house in animal crossing new horizons and repopulate the rooms from scratch with whatever i can get my hands on

Mon, Nov 21 '22 - 12:16AM [lfm]

fun times

Fri, Nov 18 '22 - 9:51PM [lfm]

and restless

Fri, Nov 18 '22 - 9:51PM [lfm]

feeling a little stupid

Thu, Nov 17 '22 - 7:44PM [lfm]

the slightly stupid moment when uve been in a wack position that cuts off some circulation n whatnot from ur legs and u have to feel em come fully back online after having straightened back out

Wed, Nov 16 '22 - 6:55AM [lfm]

first snow

Tue, Nov 15 '22 - 9:50PM [lfm]

planted a little neocities site sprout, had been meaning to but was inspired by a friend of mine in a discord server havin started one today too

Tue, Nov 15 '22 - 6:48AM [lfm]

(quiet internal whimpering)

Mon, Nov 14 '22 - 9:21PM [lfm]

freshly acquired miniorchid status: 5 blooms

Sun, Nov 13 '22 - 11:35AM [lfm]

theres (still) a slight mängukoobas-shaped hole in my internet-heart

Fri, Nov 11 '22 - 8:43PM [lfm]

what feistily catchin a mildly unreasonable amount of oli xl dj sets this year has gained me: several new friends/mutuals; at least one new lowkey fave artist; new experiences; ...a mild battle with bed bugs thanks rome

Thu, Nov 10 '22 - 6:19PM [lfm]

forecast predicts clear skies for sat and sun, makes me happy

Mon, Nov 07 '22 - 10:47PM [lfm]

spouting thoughts / sprouting thoughts

Mon, Nov 07 '22 - 10:46PM [lfm]

timid hidden snails gently clacking against each other

or whatnot

Mon, Nov 07 '22 - 10:43PM [lfm]

palate cleanse

Mon, Nov 07 '22 - 2:27PM [lfm]

feel like im startin to slow down for the season, mentally

Thu, Nov 03 '22 - 11:51AM [lfm]

been feelin Nicer

Sat, Oct 29 '22 - 8:36AM [lfm]

wounded [emotionally]

might go on long walk after lunch regardless of weather. just might

Tue, Oct 25 '22 - 11:03AM [lfm]

set up a text file where to sort of just ramble about things on my mind while at my comp via focuswriter (it's nice n customizable that application)

will see where it goes

Fri, Oct 21 '22 - 11:32PM [lfm]

all about the approaches i guess ! ! !

Fri, Oct 21 '22 - 11:31PM [lfm]

thinkin abt this thought:

If tech platforms made engagement cues/data private, only for the poster or creator to see, would that change the way we see the world/ourselves (considering how these platforms have already shaped behavior)?

(+ the precursor thought im 2 lazy 2 repaste here but) true @ spotifys fueling of perhaps sometimes harmful fandom energy on the one hand, but then at the other end of the spectrum theres for instance me using lastfm (its fun 2 look at the silly numbers) but being rlly selfconscious of it sometimes bc of my Natural Tendencies(TM) to latch onto some music or other more intensely haha

Fri, Oct 21 '22 - 11:05PM [lfm]

and the big fixative olimode still ever so strong; last night i stumbled upon a full(!!!) audio recording of a live(!!!) set i had no idea existed n i rlly love it ngl... oli xl xr the way i still unearth shit i had no idea about

i love the intro... it's really cozy

and also a nice unreleased (alas...) thing after mimetic! and hesitate w/ redacted verse tht hes mentioned on twitter in a ri,se q&a!! and also clumsy w/ xtra verse?!?

Fri, Oct 21 '22 - 10:55PM [lfm]

as for now im solidly back in the everyday rhythm

Fri, Oct 21 '22 - 10:54PM [lfm]

fond memory: the friend i got to hang out with in ldn nerding out abt art (had em take me to tate modern n tate britain hehe)

Sat, Oct 15 '22 - 8:09AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Rome)

ciampino airport as tiny as tallinn's but not even half as cozy

Sat, Oct 15 '22 - 8:08AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Rome)

Fuck A Morning Flight if i have to catch it by comin from hostel instead of str8 from event

Tue, Oct 11 '22 - 9:32PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/London)

shyly sinking thru floor every time i spot someone doing .fmwhoknows oli xl in some discord server im in unprompted, me being top by much

Sun, Oct 09 '22 - 3:39PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Amsterdam)

intimidated by my own sheer feist

Tue, Oct 04 '22 - 3:51PM [lfm]

rainy yesterday, rainy today

Mon, Oct 03 '22 - 12:10AM [lfm]

chronic enjoyer of music

Sun, Oct 02 '22 - 10:53PM [lfm]

been a hot minute since i received a weather warning notif from the estonian weather app haha, allegedly quite windy tomorrow

Sun, Oct 02 '22 - 8:00PM [lfm]

fuck it we continue to ball whilst able to

Tue, Sep 27 '22 - 7:21AM [lfm]

u really do never know which of the tiny obsessions end up growing into at least a months-long fixation type thing

Sun, Sep 25 '22 - 6:04PM [lfm]

might listen to mixes off my soundcloud listenlater list all evening

Sun, Sep 25 '22 - 6:04PM [lfm]

gonna try to bring a small bunch of things to the local reuse centre tomorrow, been meaning to

Sun, Sep 25 '22 - 6:00PM [lfm]

a bit tidier

Sat, Sep 17 '22 - 10:11PM [lfm]

[noises]

Sat, Sep 17 '22 - 10:11PM [lfm]

[noises]

Sat, Sep 17 '22 - 7:03PM [lfm]

ambient online presence

Fri, Sep 16 '22 - 2:22PM [lfm]

but gotta try redirect the aimlessness energies in more satisfying ways...

Fri, Sep 16 '22 - 2:20PM [lfm]

a little aimlessness as a treat

Thu, Sep 15 '22 - 8:59AM [lfm]

once again dragged along by the everyday

Sun, Sep 11 '22 - 12:50PM [lfm]

gatekeep me from x-l.love PLEASE /lh

Fri, Sep 09 '22 - 11:12PM [lfm]

[from small cozy tallinn airport perspective] have u ever lingered at an airport's arrivals area in late evening, when havin to arrive super early for absurdly early morning flight

has a special energy to it

Wed, Aug 31 '22 - 2:17PM [lfm]

ho ly shit the new felix lee n oxhy song (off upcomin felix release) goes too hard

Mon, Aug 29 '22 - 9:55PM [lfm]

hahaha my heart is proverbially so Warm it almost Hurts but not negatively mannnn

Mon, Aug 29 '22 - 9:54PM [lfm]

lemme just

cartoon smile !!!!!

Mon, Aug 29 '22 - 9:53PM [lfm]

cartoon smile ! ! !

[still love it so much]

Thu, Aug 25 '22 - 7:00AM [lfm]

eepy

Tue, Aug 23 '22 - 1:45PM [lfm]

got to talk more back-and-forth about oli xl w someone for once, the hyperfixative proverbial bees inside my mind are more humbled and quiet for now haha

Fri, Aug 19 '22 - 10:51PM [lfm]

that on top of spotting someone on a discord server im in spouting some bullshit about condoning russias ukraine invasion too (tho i blocked em n the convo was swept into the void later anyway). sometimes the internet is too fucking much but i stupidly persist to bring more kindness

Fri, Aug 19 '22 - 10:48PM [lfm]

i mean sure shits all skewed in all sortsa ways n shit but eh still idk. mby some ppl should sit down n let themselves be mesmerized thoroughly by something. i dont know. not my fucking problem what they think. i express my appreciation in ways i want n can while i can. don't even know where im going with this.

Fri, Aug 19 '22 - 10:42PM [lfm]

came across a tweet (via a crtitcizing qrt to be fair) tht referred to music as c*ntent (in a consumer-y way) n it lowkey almost made me wanna throw up on some level

felt so belittling in a way, beholding that as a heavy enjoyer of music. me nd other ppl out here developing deep bonds to certain music and thru certain music and some soggy loaf of bread dares sit on their ass at a keyboard referring to tht medium in a way that implies brainless consumption fucking stupid

Sun, Aug 14 '22 - 10:24PM [lfm]

calm existence

Thu, Aug 11 '22 - 4:39PM [lfm]

just about read eurodance instead of endurance from a pet food package for some reason

Wed, Aug 10 '22 - 10:14PM [lfm]

but its fun to be tapped in on the Details! hahaha

Tue, Aug 09 '22 - 7:05PM [lfm]

and a couple different friends in the past have said about a prior Huge Fave of mine both that they wish they loved something as much as i love the fave and that they wish someone loved them as much as i love the fave haha

silly big feelings! but maybe a strength to keep having the big feelings

Tue, Aug 09 '22 - 6:56PM [lfm]

hahahaaha im thinkin bout this thing someone in a lil friendserver type thing im in said some time back (context: they make music)

I would like someone being obsessed with me like you with Oli no cap

Sun, Aug 07 '22 - 6:41AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Brussels)

saw kate nv perform live too after 3 yrs since last time. loved her set

Sun, Aug 07 '22 - 6:40AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Brussels)

to whom the estonian song n dance celebration every few years

to whom oli xl dj sets currently every few months

Sat, Aug 06 '22 - 6:49AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

Hungry At The Flight Gate

Thu, Aug 04 '22 - 12:16PM [lfm]

saw the little crane make a tiny cameo in oli's ig story, makes me happy makes me smile

Thu, Aug 04 '22 - 12:08PM [lfm]

i love to go thru others thoughts pages on the webring but haven't had the time / energy lately, but i guess itll be something to do during the portions of waiting im gonna have during the upcoming lil weekend trip !

Thu, Aug 04 '22 - 12:05PM [lfm]

its fun to have my manager be like 'u oughta do [x]' and me havin already done it outta boredom a couple days back lmfao

Thu, Aug 04 '22 - 1:04AM [lfm]

mentally kickin my legs in the air im excited a lil

Sun, Jul 31 '22 - 11:44PM [lfm]

my fave genre is electronic music guys whose looks somehow give off lesbian vibes (/complimentary)

both of the ones ive been a huge fan of to the point of travelling abroad to catch sets are like that in ways haha

Sun, Jul 31 '22 - 10:24AM [lfm]

eccology by ecco2k + being at besties place, not having got outta bed yet + gentle sunlight on the drawn curtains + smell of presumably pancakes their mom might be making already downstairs

Thu, Jul 28 '22 - 7:55PM [lfm]

when u go like hehe at something but the context is secret intel for now so cant fuckin indulge in it at anyone hahahha

Thu, Jul 28 '22 - 6:51AM [lfm]

shld buy the bus tix for the trip

Sun, Jul 24 '22 - 8:15PM [lfm]

head Hurts

Sun, Jul 24 '22 - 8:10PM [lfm]

awkward and not lonely feels a lot better than lonely and inevitably awkward

-some1 in a server i frequent

Fri, Jul 22 '22 - 11:06PM [lfm]

connection is all there is to it

Tue, Jul 19 '22 - 6:12PM [lfm]

the one thing i Hate about the reusable menstrual pads ive got: w the general sorts of underwear ive got right now they fucking ride up my butt so much while im walking

Sun, Jul 17 '22 - 8:31PM [lfm]

YES confirmed im gonna get the one day off i want/need in august actually off too !

Sun, Jul 17 '22 - 1:14PM [lfm]

but the fest was nice. highlights: being almost barricade for yves tumor n band (yves was goin past us w hands toward us n tongue out at 1 point lmfao i passed up the fine privilege of getting licked tho hahaha); being enamored by thundercat's drummer just goin at it esp during one of the songs

Sun, Jul 17 '22 - 1:11PM [lfm]

Five Millionth Time Of This Album Without Getting Permanently Tired Of It! How Do I Even Manage To Do It

Sun, Jul 17 '22 - 3:36AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

stupid proverbial brain worm garden

Sat, Jul 16 '22 - 11:36AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Riga)

was socially exhausted after positivus day one, but the sleep reset most of that. nice enough. need to go get food

Thu, Jul 14 '22 - 3:46PM [lfm]

bumbling about

Mon, Jul 11 '22 - 5:23PM [lfm]

Seems Like Some Time Til Then Still Tho

Mon, Jul 11 '22 - 5:23PM [lfm]

haha thinking abt how one day i might wake up / get online to a bandcamp notification of oli xl has announced an album or whatever itd exactly be and how that day i will go so hogwild

Sat, Jul 09 '22 - 11:52PM [lfm]

focus, pay attention,

Sat, Jul 09 '22 - 10:58AM [lfm]

note 2 self: mint extract started, today

Thu, Jul 07 '22 - 9:28PM [lfm]

like sure i might live 4 hours bus ride from the nearest airport but i live like a 2 minute walk from my towns main bus station which mildly balances things out

Thu, Jul 07 '22 - 3:29PM [lfm]

currently completely gatekeeping myself from discord on mobile and it feels... peaceful

Thu, Jul 07 '22 - 5:30AM [lfm]

I mean I enjoy hearing about sneek Oli fixation and it brings a smile to my lil face every time I read your writings / I rate it a 10/10

-someone in a discord server im in

🥲🥲

Sun, Jul 03 '22 - 10:55AM [lfm]

enthused 2 much, leaked into my dreams

Fri, Jul 01 '22 - 5:00AM [lfm]

warm cozy warm cozy warm

Tue, Jun 28 '22 - 7:18PM [lfm]

summer break soon lets gooo

Mon, Jun 27 '22 - 11:53PM [lfm]

rlly glad u are safe

Mon, Jun 27 '22 - 12:54PM [lfm]

cartoon smile spring, cartoon smile summer

Sat, Jun 25 '22 - 5:05PM [lfm]

What The Hell

Fri, Jun 24 '22 - 4:46PM [lfm]

me-time

Tue, Jun 21 '22 - 11:26PM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Warsaw)

crosspost from discord:

nooooo im literally chillin in an airbnb with maybe like 7 other ppl floatin around the bnb rn and im on my phone enthusing over oli still my life is a COMEDY

tho rn been FLOWIN in the good times

Tue, Jun 21 '22 - 9:29AM [lfm] (tz: Europe/Warsaw)

when someone asks me help with the train ride and im like Bro Im Equally Clueless

Tue, Jun 21 '22 - 4:25AM [lfm]

smell of something adjacent to cinnamon buns, adjacent to the self-service library type thing, at the airport

Sun, Jun 19 '22 - 5:08PM [lfm]

silly goofy silly goofy silly goofy

Wed, Jun 15 '22 - 4:03PM [lfm]

holy fuck i need to go thru and clean out some emails sometime

Tue, Jun 14 '22 - 12:43AM [lfm]

feelin big irl/url love

Mon, Jun 13 '22 - 10:02PM [lfm]

lol the dg warsaw show itself was postponed today, into september, but i was gonna go with some ppl and we'd all booked a pretty fire airbnb too so we decided that we're still gonna go hang out n ball which might still be quite lovely

Mon, Jun 13 '22 - 8:45AM [lfm]

having 2 weeks off work in like 2.5 weeks..!! plus the drain gang warsaw thing before that omg omg (i need to book the bus tix for it...)

Sun, Jun 12 '22 - 9:56PM [lfm]

It Was Very Worth It

Sat, Jun 11 '22 - 7:03AM [lfm]

while my 2 coworkers gettin ready to go to work today im gettin ready to go on a trip !!

Mon, Jun 06 '22 - 6:55AM [lfm]

in my hubris im once again a dumbass (read: 3 hrs sleep)

Sun, Jun 05 '22 - 12:20AM [lfm]

the production on victim by drain gang is so immensely summery it blows my mind lowkey. a big delight to listen. super super chill

Sat, Jun 04 '22 - 11:59PM [lfm]

thinkin about how moa pillar (a longtime fave music artist) was like 'this is crazy' at when i gave him a minor fuckton of tiny paper cranes out of appreciation after one of the times ive seen him perform

and about how oli called my headgeared crane the insanest thing or something

and im like, to me the craziest thing is how yall can just conjure up soundscapes just like that

Sat, Jun 04 '22 - 1:28PM [lfm]

and the desire for having a burger for lunch

Sat, Jun 04 '22 - 7:07AM [lfm]

carrying vague dread n vague loneliness but also not so vague joy

Sat, Jun 04 '22 - 1:18AM [lfm]

ok vibes!

Fri, Jun 03 '22 - 12:49AM [lfm]

awful vibes

Wed, Jun 01 '22 - 11:40AM [lfm]

fun to look at one of the it ppl poke at our main work comp remotely its as if some ghost was fiddling inside it but Not Really

Tue, May 31 '22 - 8:39PM [lfm]

walk mood? super pretty out rn

plus figuring out how to rename screenshots in a nice more organized way

Tue, May 31 '22 - 2:06PM [lfm]

almost june and its chilly out. feels wrong

Mon, May 30 '22 - 10:25PM [lfm]

time gone halfway into the void tonight again

Mon, May 30 '22 - 1:22PM [lfm]

at least currently.

the outcome of it being released and the outcome of it not being released but there being some other ecco feat on ltl might both be okay...! fortunately theres a full enough ok enough recording of the unrelease

Mon, May 30 '22 - 1:19PM [lfm]

part of my mind entirely replaced w that certain ecco & oli unreleased track

Mon, May 30 '22 - 8:33AM [lfm]

the lilacs are in bloom. a fave time of year

Mon, May 30 '22 - 2:57AM [lfm]

unrelated: sneek do sum digital boundaries ur spreading urself too thin across 2 many places

Mon, May 30 '22 - 2:55AM [lfm]

til literal licking of (camera) lens can be useful... some1 in a discord server im in does some underwater filming n tht apparently helps in the lens not fogging up n stuff. sillily delightful knowledge (Sorry [Name Redacted] Oli Reference Now)

Sat, May 28 '22 - 8:07PM [lfm]

told a friend that across these three days off i might fuck around and i might find out but maybe just fuck around

ive fucked around, ive found out!

Thu, May 26 '22 - 10:28PM [lfm]

i meant italic not cursive... it's called kursiiv in estonian tbf

but italic emojis hilarious on my laptop too

Thu, May 26 '22 - 10:24PM [lfm]

feeling a lot of love thru silly little internet lately

Tue, May 24 '22 - 10:44PM [lfm]

cursive emojis can be pretty hilarious at least on my phone

🤪 🤪

Mon, May 23 '22 - 4:20PM [lfm]

walk mood

Mon, May 23 '22 - 12:51PM [lfm]

altho it seems to have evened out a little right now... slowly going to my summer level of listening to music (aka less than in winter)

Fri, May 20 '22 - 12:46AM [lfm]

wait til you see my lastfm profile mr bossman bigman etc...

Fri, May 20 '22 - 12:45AM [lfm]

well, talk of, finally did the other night...! i was like, its rlly lovely rlly heartwarming even after a lowkey lethal amount of plays love it a lot thank you for real

lad dared to be like wait til you hear the rest !!!! at first and Respectfully I Been Waiting A While

Mon, May 16 '22 - 1:47PM [lfm]

the way the world remains simultaneously extremely fucking stupid and quite wholesome. fucking multitudes

Sun, May 15 '22 - 12:27PM [lfm]

i got plenty love for lots of things but overhearing some of the shit my parents spout that aint it

Mon, May 09 '22 - 11:11AM [lfm]

not knowing is the spice of life

Sun, May 08 '22 - 8:10PM [lfm]

kinda fun tho, outsneaking n forcing to outsneak... lol

anyway i kinda wanna go do stuff but my cat's loafing on me

Sun, May 08 '22 - 8:08PM [lfm]

this dream i had aged a lil funnily, the lad added a lil bloggish blurb as an easter egg on that site the other night.

not gonna tell abt that dream tho, but did msg him about the easter egg, maybe i shouldntve and shouldve just continued silently observing to see what he wouldve continued doing w it hahaha

Sun, May 08 '22 - 7:59AM [lfm]

got clarence clarity stuck in my head (listened a lil last night)

Sun, May 08 '22 - 12:49AM [lfm]

a customer (an older lady) told me today how it's always a delight to recognize me by the stripey pants [my rainbow pants] 😭😭

Sat, May 07 '22 - 5:46PM [lfm]

plus these bandcamp fridays currently always land to just a few days before my payday pretty much

Fri, May 06 '22 - 8:00PM [lfm]

"Get all 14 Bloom ©2019 releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%." OK MR BOSSMAN BIGMAN BIG BOY OLI WHAT IF I DONT WANT TO SAVE 35%!! music feels Important to me and i got some spare Money so i will toss Some of it

(and also i had the 4 oli things under w-i/bloom already anyway)

Fri, May 06 '22 - 5:37PM [lfm]

approximately once a month i will want to listen thru all of oli xl's at least rinse fm mixes

Fri, May 06 '22 - 5:22PM [lfm]

also gonna go to tartu again ..!! :D

this time for a friend's birthday, she's bringing cake to the bar she frequents

Tue, May 03 '22 - 6:11PM [lfm]

the three genders: blue eyes / clear eyes / rest my eyes

(this thought sponsored by ecco2k)

Tue, May 03 '22 - 2:07AM [lfm]

& it makes me want 2 give bear hugs 2 several friends but the closest ones live an hour away n the furthest ones unfeasibly far ill just hug this plushie

Tue, May 03 '22 - 2:02AM [lfm]

the day i end up breaking thru some threshold n end up telling oli directly bout my big love for cartoon smile.. it will b over for u all

(did leave silly lil youtube comment but idk how oft he looks at those..and this love too big to fit in passing youtube comment)

Tue, May 03 '22 - 2:00AM [lfm]

toast w cheese n fried eggs...

Tue, May 03 '22 - 2:00AM [lfm]

so sleepy barely a filter mentally rn n Tht Certain Track made me feel so full of love i now wanna try make proper brekky for myself in the morning even tho im not gonna get v much sleep but thts ok

Sat, Apr 30 '22 - 5:55PM [lfm]

what does it give you to even call out a random passerby (irl or online) on whichever harmless thing esp if they wont even react to you

Fri, Apr 29 '22 - 1:22AM [lfm]

warm warm warm

Fri, Apr 29 '22 - 1:12AM [lfm]

feeling this thought big time, but i most frequent on discord these days where it doesnt strip the extra spaces which is real Nice

Fri, Apr 29 '22 - 1:09AM [lfm]

warm warm warm warm

Thu, Apr 28 '22 - 6:53AM [lfm]

at least i got online friends i can spout foolery to

Tue, Apr 26 '22 - 8:53PM [lfm]

being told both by my manager and my mom within the same day to be a tad more cleanly in some surroundings-aspects

now thats what i call ✨ WORK-LIFE BALANCE ✨

Tue, Apr 26 '22 - 6:22PM [lfm]

though i already am unstoppable just in an 'appreciates tiny sounds in general a lot of the time' + 'keeps shilling her faves to her online friends esp in more musicappreciationally inclined spaces' way

Tue, Apr 26 '22 - 6:20PM [lfm]

wld have much more fun listenin to rogue intruder soul enhancer if i recognized where any of this damn fuckton of samples came from but at the same time ive been having a bunch of fun listening to it so if i were a more aurally experienced lil bithc then i would prob be unstoppable so maybe its for the better that im not

Sun, Apr 24 '22 - 11:12AM [lfm]

finally rainy today

Sat, Apr 23 '22 - 3:01PM [lfm]

positive feedback loop / push/pull type thing where i've been listening to oli xl during walks enough that listening to certain kindsa oli xl makes me want to go on walks

Sat, Apr 23 '22 - 2:01PM [lfm]

im fresh im fresh im frESH

Sat, Apr 23 '22 - 7:45AM [lfm]

1 thing that bothers me more than a screaming child - a parent yelling at a screaming child

Fri, Apr 22 '22 - 7:17PM [lfm]

especially right now with the first actually warm days of spring 💖💖

Fri, Apr 22 '22 - 7:16PM [lfm]

being in tartu brings me immense joy whenever its been way too long since last time

Fri, Apr 22 '22 - 5:33PM [lfm]

the ppl of raadio elmar love their anne veski but so do i

Thu, Apr 21 '22 - 10:00AM [lfm]

a radio advert for a place selling plantlings n stuff starts off like 'every new hour in your life (...)'

thats one way to look at it!

Wed, Apr 20 '22 - 6:05PM [lfm]

shop closing speedrun 100%

Tue, Apr 19 '22 - 10:53PM [lfm]

things that dont matter

things that do matter

Tue, Apr 19 '22 - 10:44PM [lfm]

i am tired (but itll pass)

Mon, Apr 18 '22 - 6:06PM [lfm]

maybe i could, in the meanwhile, toss most of the clutter into the bed box thing

Sat, Apr 16 '22 - 9:34PM [lfm]

in these times ive generally been extremely chill for someone who dwells barely an hour from the godforsaken border!

its nice to be mentally stable. even when i do have rather low mental energy these days. but stable!

Sat, Apr 16 '22 - 9:21PM [lfm]

its nice to be sort of rooted in my more immediate surroundings

(went on a nice walk just earlier)

Sat, Apr 16 '22 - 9:15PM [lfm]

wish i could [unpostable activities] the ppl who [far, far more unpostable activities] by my own hands or wit or tools given

Sat, Apr 16 '22 - 8:19AM [lfm]

different degrees of feist

Thu, Apr 14 '22 - 6:34PM [lfm]

the 4 genders: liquid love / liquid garden / liquid cicada / liquid sunshine

Wed, Apr 13 '22 - 10:31PM [lfm]

this empties my mind every time i rly listen to it

Tue, Apr 12 '22 - 12:07PM [lfm]

head thick

Sun, Apr 10 '22 - 9:35PM [lfm]

also finally making my way down the w - i / bloom catalogue. logical next step of this current ummm fixation

Sun, Apr 10 '22 - 9:34PM [lfm]

randomly thinking abt horse plinko?

Fri, Apr 08 '22 - 4:02PM [lfm]

once i make and eat a wrap i will be a little more powerful.

Fri, Apr 08 '22 - 4:01PM [lfm]

or maybe its that i Cant give a fuck

Fri, Apr 08 '22 - 3:56PM [lfm]

sometimes some stuff just makes me go like i literally dont give a fuckkkkkkkk

Fri, Apr 08 '22 - 11:56AM [lfm]

also figured out another thing i like about bus rides (vs car rides). the relative anonymity in relation to other passengers

Fri, Apr 08 '22 - 11:55AM [lfm]

the moment when my paycheck email thing got overzealously placed in spam folder lol

Thu, Apr 07 '22 - 1:07PM [lfm]

new coworker askin me if i have a bf, i say no, she says lucky

mate my girl im wearing rainbow pants !! had a couple of schoolkids call my outfit gay once !!

(but neither do i have any other type of signif other)

Wed, Apr 06 '22 - 9:51PM [lfm]

cat i am so sorry for locking u into kitchen (with ur food n water n litterbox n chairs 2 sleep on) for the night i dont want my parents to anger at you...

Wed, Apr 06 '22 - 9:47PM [lfm]

hometown any%

Mon, Apr 04 '22 - 12:24AM [lfm]

so much insignificant mental n physical clutter i can't really keep up with

Mon, Apr 04 '22 - 12:06AM [lfm]

sleepy

Sun, Apr 03 '22 - 2:20AM [lfm]

main detail of the crane + the single's cover art, for comparison

would post inline but im not bothered to resize and reupload the pic

Sun, Apr 03 '22 - 2:11AM [lfm]

i just really fuckin love it... its so cozy

and seeing the single's cover art might be starting to make me think of the paper crane i made and gave hehe

Sun, Apr 03 '22 - 2:04AM [lfm]

take a shot every time i mention that song.......my silly mind just works this way

Sun, Apr 03 '22 - 2:00AM [lfm]

the only thing that matters right now is 1:00-1:30 of cartoon smile by oli xl

Sun, Apr 03 '22 - 1:57AM [lfm]

though i wonder what made them block me months into the no-contact, hah. and what made my ex block me on there around the same time.

not that it matters.

Sun, Apr 03 '22 - 1:55AM [lfm]

been on my peak bullshit anyway post-crush

Sun, Apr 03 '22 - 1:55AM [lfm]

thinkin abt the friend/person i had that silly crush on for a lot of last year n what id say to them if there was ever some vague reinitiation of contact. not that it really matters.

dont (want to) care bout u as distinct person prob as defense mechanism (though i wouldnt b crushing anymore anyway, i guess its more to avoid excess spite or other feelings of friction) but do vaguely care as part of entity of the discord server i frequent i guess. wouldnt care if i never had to encounter you again / dont like how u werent more solid abt boundaries sooner but it was a confusing time and it was on both of us really, not that it matters anymore anyway / i still think about the noodles you made for the two of us the midnight when i was visiting, the midnight before i headed back home. but really as part of wider thing of food as social/appreciative thing. / i wouldntve reacted as stupidly to us parting had i known beforehand youd not be accompanying me on the train. Not That It Matters Anymore Anyway. maybe its fuckin good that we have each other blocked

Sat, Apr 02 '22 - 10:19AM [lfm]

Guess What! it's bladee-harmonizing.mp3 time

Fri, Apr 01 '22 - 9:04AM [lfm]

having some1 u need to slowly show the reins to at work is 😳😳😳 (but at least we got an xtra person for summertime now !!)

Thu, Mar 31 '22 - 11:53PM [lfm]

oof ow i feel out of balance a bit

Thu, Mar 31 '22 - 10:06PM [lfm]

ok this is rly clever lol, bias-in-law. tho i dont bumble in kpop realms so for my friends my faves would just be faves-in-law or fixations-in-law

Thu, Mar 31 '22 - 9:56PM [lfm]

shit i need to eat more of proper stuff

Thu, Mar 31 '22 - 1:51AM [lfm]

  • life after life by ecco made me feel overwhelmingly loving the first couple of days of sprawling over it

  • 5th part of 5 star crest 4 vattenrum by bladee n ecco made me feel overwhelmingly loved the first couple of days of sprawling over it

  • cartoon smile by oli keeps making me feel warm inside in possibly both of those ways

Wed, Mar 30 '22 - 11:37AM [lfm]

and pretty soon after my london speedrun the shop i work at had a lil tryout-day person for the summer worker position and she meshed quite well w us and w the general stuff so i guess the blessed vibes r continuing !!

Mon, Mar 28 '22 - 10:56PM [lfm]

my lil paper cranes slightly littered across at least this corner of the world what with me bestowing them upon music ppl i see performin live n whatnot

Sun, Mar 27 '22 - 11:05PM [lfm]

anyway i had a blessed time !! my voice is halfgone rn, hopefully itll b somewhat back by morning

Sat, Mar 26 '22 - 9:47AM [lfm]

the person that just sat next to me on the bus said hello as they settled down, was unexpectedly nice even (bc settling down next to some1 on the bus hasnt usually parsed to me as a 'say hello to stranger out of politeness' situation ha)

Sat, Mar 26 '22 - 8:18AM [lfm]

the joys of brieftripping to somewhere with currently similar weather: i've been able to fit all my trip essentials into a shoulder bag lol (airplane friendly aka no liquids; of foodables there are just 5 granola bars tucked into a couple secret places)

this will be currently both the lightest and the furthest that ive travelled abroad. on my prior trips ive always used my backpack

Sat, Mar 26 '22 - 7:02AM [lfm]

a tweet by 65daysofstatic lives in my head rentfree

tommmmorow is toaday

Sat, Mar 26 '22 - 7:01AM [lfm]

today

Fri, Mar 25 '22 - 7:02PM [lfm]

tomorrow TOMORROW T O M O R R O W

Fri, Mar 25 '22 - 12:37PM [lfm]

when u want to snack but y'r at work and all yr snacks are at home. at least lunchtime coming soon

Mon, Mar 21 '22 - 1:45PM [lfm]

currently in the mood of going thru and continuing to clean out some of the pics ive taken w phone

Sun, Mar 20 '22 - 2:15AM [lfm]

update, the ambiguous phrase seems to be i love you, from the lyrics in the description of official upload 😭 all the sweeter (even tho none of the other lyrics of that part r specified there, so i guess more up to interpretation)

Sat, Mar 19 '22 - 8:28PM [lfm]

well, or my life at least. dont have much control over others' which is okay

just that the best tiny moments comin to mind rn are rly just abt Connection n whatnot

<3

Sat, Mar 19 '22 - 8:22PM [lfm]

whole of crest is nice, whole of 5 star crest is lovely (and it being a tribute song to a friend of theirs... 😭), but just... something abt the 5th part somehow just... sheds light within me on all these moments of love thatve been n are n will be out there, as big or as tiny as they might all be. like Thats What Life Really Should Be About...

Sat, Mar 19 '22 - 8:18PM [lfm]

a lot of the words in pt 5 of 5 star crest are rly mumbly so its hard to make out exactly what eccos saying in there but then, accompanying one ambiguous phrase hes repeating (on genius its currently transcribed as oh me and you but can b heard as other stuff), theres a rather clear

to eat, to kiss, to love / to eat, to love, to kiss (...)

something rly beautiful abt this in some rly simple way 😭

Sat, Mar 19 '22 - 8:11PM [lfm]

full of love

Fri, Mar 18 '22 - 10:29PM [lfm]

last part of 5 star crest is so soft it has me in tears

Fri, Mar 18 '22 - 6:50AM [lfm]

NEW BLADEE N ECCO NEW BLADEE N ECCO im going to pull a someone whos a regular on sbecord and go on a walk to listen thru it for the first time. from what ive heard i might Love It

Thu, Mar 17 '22 - 1:37PM [lfm]

rly funny to hear my manager and one of the ppl of meatshop next to us talking about very unideal candidates theyve encountered when looking for ppl for the shops

Im An Asset For Real lmaoooo my imperfection is that i like to chill and i like to listen to chunes from one earbud sometimes >:) but maybe its good that i like to chill rather than infinitely bust my ass off...less likely to burn out

Wed, Mar 16 '22 - 1:14PM [lfm]

the thick slow feeling of international love

( https://topnotchdoodad.thoughts.page/#1647415016 )

so true

Wed, Mar 16 '22 - 1:09PM [lfm]

be the maths problem final boss you wish to see in the world

Tue, Mar 15 '22 - 12:14AM [lfm]

when u r rly happy abt how something u made came out but u made it as a gift and dont wanna share it more widely until After uve been able to gift it to the person

Sun, Mar 13 '22 - 9:59PM [lfm]

Stop making fun of me its #illegal im just got of the phone with my lawyer

another of my fav bladee tweets

Sun, Mar 13 '22 - 9:58PM [lfm]

and then theres oli "wanna tell the world how i jugged these samples but i'm scared i might get hit w 1000 copyright infringements" xl

n another one from like 4y ago thats something in th lines of him saying he feels his track titles r self-fulfilling prophecies so maybe instead of titles like stress junkie he should have (insert whatever healthy stuff here). and its aged rly funny considering his newest single is go oli go! + cartoon smile (tweeted @ him bout it too but lad doesnt seem to be much active on twi these days which is Honestly Valid.)

Sun, Mar 13 '22 - 9:53PM [lfm]

another of my fav bladee tweets is the im just a vessel bro i didnt mean to flex on you tweet (idr the exact wording, too lazy to look up rn)

maybe i should do a little stroll thru his twi acc sometime feel like there might b a buncha gold

Sun, Mar 13 '22 - 9:44PM [lfm]

head empty

Sat, Mar 12 '22 - 2:11PM [lfm]

flow state in the bruh dimension is 1 of my fav bladee tweets

Thu, Mar 10 '22 - 10:19PM [lfm]

but like ive listened to 4 (or potentially 5 depending on who the special guest will b) artists from that lineup of 8 (one of em who ive not listened is missing from the ra link) AND ive been REALLY into oli xl lately AND the plane tix seemed quite affordable SO

Thu, Mar 10 '22 - 10:16PM [lfm]

sneeks brief london foray sponsored by tax returns (bc the main travel tix n the event tix have stayed within the amount i got back as tax returns recently for last yr)

Thu, Mar 10 '22 - 10:15PM [lfm]

ohohohohohohohhOHOHOHOHOHO

Thu, Mar 10 '22 - 7:47AM [lfm]

time 2 enjoy sunny day off. phone back into the drawer

Tue, Mar 08 '22 - 8:31PM [lfm]

n then the music mood of the day does a small 180 and its all decadent af

Tue, Mar 08 '22 - 3:11PM [lfm]

now the afore-indirect-mentioned song has been in my head rentfree. warmest songs my weakness.

(cartoon smile by oli xl, for the lazy. 1:00-1:29 continues to tug at my lil heart even tho its just a lil harmonizing but it's warm af)

Sun, Mar 06 '22 - 6:20PM [lfm]

or maybe its also the silly lil artist-fan connection by way of silly lil internet

sometimes its the lil things

Thu, Mar 03 '22 - 10:15PM [lfm]

sometimes you slowly start bonding deeper with songs after certain moments

Thu, Mar 03 '22 - 2:11PM [lfm]

brooding mood. sure!

i know itll pass so ig ill just brood for a lil

Wed, Mar 02 '22 - 11:20PM [lfm]

but for now maybe a silly little doodle thats been on my mind in some shape or form and then bedtime

Wed, Mar 02 '22 - 11:19PM [lfm]

think im starting to spread myself thin between online places. gotta ponder what to do abt it

Wed, Mar 02 '22 - 9:24PM [lfm]

pondering about diy mint extract after reading one can diy it but id have to acquire, for that, a: 1) more airtight jar of idk what size, 2) vodka of unknown quantity (lol), 3) ideally fresh mint but this'll be easy once it's peak spring and whatnot, as it's set its foot decently in my parents' garden in these past couple years

Wed, Mar 02 '22 - 9:19PM [lfm]

first workday after 1.5 weeks off went alright n chill. also gonna have the first non-solo saturday of the season this week so that's cool. also someone applying for summer worker job at the shop coming for trial day on friday while both manager and i are in which is cool too

Tue, Mar 01 '22 - 7:42AM [lfm]

i dreamt that i found via oli xl's insta that he'd got/made some sorta different more explorable lil webpage than the actual x-l.love page is, there was some nerd shit (/complimentary), was gonna share somethin i found on it w a friend on discord but then i woke up and was like 'damn it was in a dream'

Mon, Feb 28 '22 - 6:29PM [lfm]

though the site closure was announced a few months in advance so i had time to back up whatever i wanted to back up... but some mightntve even known bout it nonetheless

i still remember my user id (that was in the urls of the profile and pagethingy; mine was almost palindromic lol) and some of the usernames i had there and the chatroom's page id (the main 'branches' of the page were linked like (main domainfuckery)/id/(page id thing))

rest easy mängukoobas

Mon, Feb 28 '22 - 6:22PM [lfm]

phantoms of an estonian website i spent my childhood on n was still semifrequent on up til it was closed almost exactly a year ago

ive not ended up accidentally visiting the site since then, but still feels like some vague distant hole. though theres a discord server for ppl who used to go on there but ive not been in there for a few months now, wasnt much into the vibes and havent bothered to rejoin

(the site was mostly dedicated to flash games but it had plenty creative and social aspects too, each user had their own lil 'site' they could customize to some extent, the layout choices were predetermined and there was just some ltd choice of bbcode but otherwise got to go ham to childfriendly extent, designing headers and menu buttons and other stuff and havin lil subpages for stuff)

Mon, Feb 28 '22 - 5:01PM [lfm]

sometimes the target state isnt spotless sometimes its cleaner

Sun, Feb 27 '22 - 12:22PM [lfm]

finally tweaked this theme a bit, mwahaha wavy underlines

Sun, Feb 27 '22 - 12:00PM [lfm]

perched on my silly chair listenin thru some silly music backlog on silly 'tubes

Thu, Feb 24 '22 - 7:01PM [lfm]

been bopping to more of mostly oli's mixes this afternoon/evening

though this torus mix that came from autoplay after one of em was real nice too

Thu, Feb 24 '22 - 8:10AM [lfm]

but ill b safe in fine ole estonia i believe

Thu, Feb 24 '22 - 6:43AM [lfm]

hah that stuff got punted out the window by whatever This bullshit is

(returned tix for this weekend's yves tumor gig trip, got tix for a fest this july (while im on break too!!! blessed timing) in riga where they will be too, and also for a local gig this friday which is slightly good news on top of the bullshit)

though this still cute, oli xl's voice,

Thu, Feb 24 '22 - 5:01AM [lfm]

fine i guess no other choice but to feel these feelings for however short or long theyll stick around!! Stupidly (Temporary-)Crushlike Feelings lol, i guess there can b some sort of fun in feelin this type of stuff w/o acting upon anything too

(tiny part of me feeling reflective bout last year when i did act upon crushfeelings, towards a friend of course, wouldntve otherwise, and wondering how itdve been had i never told them about the dream that made me crush on them in the first place)

Thu, Feb 24 '22 - 4:52AM [lfm]

its kind of silly its kind of nice this resulting feeling LMAO fucking hell

Thu, Feb 24 '22 - 4:49AM [lfm]

when u hear a mediumkey big fav artist of urs speak (at the start of a mix) for the first time w/o all the vocal fx foolery they have on in songs and its kind of the end of u because now its gonna slightly live in ur head rentfree

oooppps

Tue, Feb 22 '22 - 2:01PM [lfm]

operating under the assumption that there may be guests today (who knows)

Tue, Feb 22 '22 - 1:56AM [lfm]

tragedy of having been like 'this would be a slapping username' at several phrases and yet having too much a unified online presence namewise to really use any of them..

Sun, Feb 20 '22 - 3:09PM [lfm]

animal crossing jock villagers fitting whole gyms under their couches and shit

Sun, Feb 20 '22 - 3:08PM [lfm]

would b nice if some of animal crossing logic worked irl. like, condensing whole furniture pieces into just leaves to shove into pockets. imagine that.

Sat, Feb 19 '22 - 4:43PM [lfm]

silly way to harness creativity: pic manip for the purpose of custom discord emojis

Sat, Feb 19 '22 - 11:44AM [lfm]

and some of the nicknames i associate w certain people whove called me that at least a couple times. snake, sne, sneebus, keens n sneekface, snik, šnek... these ones certainly.

Sat, Feb 19 '22 - 11:31AM [lfm]

also from the aforelinked ecco interview

PXE tends to be interpreted as a project about inner conflict. I don’t feel like there’s a conflict, necessarily. Personhood is just really complicated. Just because it’s not a singular, unified, streamlined reality, doesn’t mean that it’s in conflict. Sometimes it sounds like 50 people shouting at each other in my head, but it’s still a monologue. It’s still you.

think id at least subconsciously reached some sorta similar thoughts independently of this so this kinda speaks to me too

also makes me think about how mostly in a discord server i frequent in ive been called handfuls of permutations of 'sneek' (i guess thx to the person i crushed on for a while singlehandedly calling me handfuls of permutations of 'sneek') which i kind of find sweet in general. endless permutations of 'sneek' in a trench coat. perceived a litl differently by everyone. dynamic identity. all that.

Sat, Feb 19 '22 - 11:27AM [lfm]

at least she didnt give me any grief or anything bout me not wanting to be anything specific as a kiddo so thats cool

Sat, Feb 19 '22 - 11:25AM [lfm]

from that interview re the being asked what u want to do but not rly wanting anything specific

When you’re a kid, adults ask that all the time, and you have to have a good answer.

thinking of how its hella common for kids to wanna b some1 of some profession but my mom's told me i never really had anything specific in mind then (was too busy being a kid / being built different). iconic really.

Sat, Feb 19 '22 - 11:20AM [lfm]

i quite like this ecco interview, i revisit it sometimes

Sat, Feb 19 '22 - 11:14AM [lfm]

got a week off now, gonna simply chill for most of it

Wed, Feb 16 '22 - 6:49AM [lfm]

in my hubris im a dumbass (read: 2nd night in a row of sleeping a bit under 4 hours before a workday)

Tue, Feb 15 '22 - 10:43PM [lfm]

uh uh iconic

Mon, Feb 14 '22 - 11:04PM [lfm]

sbecord buzzing about a potential drain somethin potentially droppin soon bc of there bein some teasin but i will merely just. slip thru life as ive been

even tho i do be lookin forward too, if it is indeed a something dropping soon

Fri, Feb 11 '22 - 8:09AM [lfm]

angy

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 11:05PM [lfm]

she woke me an hour before my alarm today about to throw up in my bed (managed to gently toss her on floor before) but its ok i still appreciate her

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 11:02PM [lfm]

she is currently snoozing next to me while i sit on my bed

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 11:01PM [lfm]

had my small wireless speaker propped up on my cats hollow big scratch post / cave pillar type thing while i was hanging laundry to dry, listening to some ecco, and she hopped atop it and chilled some. even used the speaker as some sorta pillow briefly which was cute. i gave plenty pets ofc

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 4:01PM [lfm]

work hard play hard i think to myself while sitting at the register comp playing candy crush on it

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 9:28AM [lfm]

turn your mental prison to a maze / turn the maze into a place where you're safe

(noblest strive, off the aforementioned album. the song has a satisfying flow to it)

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 8:52AM [lfm]

might b considering 333 my fav bladee album rn and the old drainheads can cry all they Want abt it

tho i oughta revisit the older bits of the discog, sometime

so much music so little time/energy

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 7:20AM [lfm]

brewing in this silly cocoon

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 12:27AM [lfm]

at least an impromptu nap i had reset my mind a little so im no longer thinking abt the couple of mutually blocked ppl rn. good.

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 12:26AM [lfm]

gonna find out tomorrow evening whether my manager can come to work from thurs, she said all her tests have been negative. manifesting thursday off, i got low mental energy

Wed, Feb 09 '22 - 12:24AM [lfm]

not used to this level of... would it b ok for me to call this some sort of hyperfixation with my merely asd-flavoured spicy brain, it makes the most sense. not used to this level of that (day 2 of just sort of mostly listening to gud lmao), but its cool i guess !!

Tue, Feb 08 '22 - 3:44PM [lfm]

part of mind: wonder if [blocked person 1] and [blocked person 2] have talked abou-

other part of mind: ratio + didnt ask + dont care + ecco2k smile + key jangling noises in comedown by gud + what of it

Tue, Feb 08 '22 - 2:57PM [lfm]

not that it really matters

Tue, Feb 08 '22 - 2:47PM [lfm]

though keep wondering sometimes during convos on that server how theyd look with me filtered out

Tue, Feb 08 '22 - 1:06PM [lfm]

mutual blocking on a discord server feels nice feels right

Tue, Feb 08 '22 - 6:55AM [lfm]

hopefully manager will b back from thurs itd b Nice

Mon, Feb 07 '22 - 10:46PM [lfm]

I Do Not Choose The Brain Brr Of The Day

Mon, Feb 07 '22 - 9:55PM [lfm]

admittedly it was nice stuff to chill at work to (listened to the rotation from one earbud)

Mon, Feb 07 '22 - 9:44PM [lfm]

also i listened to a rotation of some unreleased gud tracks for like 7-8 hours straight today. my brain is a fun place. "oh is this gud singing on some of the tracks? thats kind of cute," my brain went, and 7 hours later i was still at it

Mon, Feb 07 '22 - 9:42PM [lfm]

dread from it, run from it, ecco2k arrives just the same

someone in the discord server i most frequent, during one of our collab playlists, where someone thats not me had subbed ecco2k

Thu, Feb 03 '22 - 5:11PM [lfm]

the way im gettin out of sick leave just as my manager has ended up in iso as close contact lol. truly global the achoo

Thu, Feb 03 '22 - 1:24AM [lfm]

my cat has been melted across my lap for the last few hours, send help

Wed, Feb 02 '22 - 4:17AM [lfm]

cant fkn SLEEP

Tue, Feb 01 '22 - 11:17PM [lfm]

or nah thats not all

it was a comment on youtube of some1 saying they feel the song is more about overcoming ones struggles than about death which made the song crack right open for me because it rly makes sense that way too within eccos work

i guess it resonated w me even more than it couldve bc i properly picked up the song soon before my birthday last year, a few months ago, and after a big crush i'd been having on some1 and whatnot.

tho itd probably gain some new dimension once i have to cope with some1 dear to me passing, for all i know it could be my cat, shes still healthy but shes turning 16 this july so who knows

ok thats all i think

Tue, Feb 01 '22 - 11:08PM [lfm]

another sweetest thing abt that song: the beginning repeats 'theres a star theres a glimmer' a few times but one of the lines is 'youre a star theres a glimmer' instead, even tho its not v clear from the song but its there on the lyric sheet.

another sweetest thing abt that song: how 1 of the lines towards the end is 'say goodbye, i walk into the light' (for context for the following, the song is bonus track of e, ecco's first proper release) and then in pxe (first track off pxe the second proper release) one of the bits is 'come out of shell, come into the light'

another sweetest thing abt that song: most beautiful background vox. and the prod being dreamy af as well

ok thats all. just rly love that song

Tue, Feb 01 '22 - 11:00PM [lfm]

in my arms, i leave my life in yours / i go on to live so many more

(life after life by ecco2k)

most beautiful and beloved song to me rn. to the point where ive sort of sometimes been wanting to punt some type of dm to ecco (prob via twitter. even if idk how likely hed b 2 look at it it via there either) abt how its 1 of my most beloved things n thanking so much n whatnot. bc this world could always use more of kind words i guess. and this thing has fr resonated w me so much

Mon, Jan 31 '22 - 10:13PM [lfm]

been workin on lessening my watchlater on the 'tubes which is nice. now its mostly just music stuff aka more listenlater than watchlater

Mon, Jan 31 '22 - 10:13PM [lfm]

cat stop screaming every night challenge

Mon, Jan 31 '22 - 10:12PM [lfm]

listening 2 girls just want to have fun by bladee and ecco last night while i was in bed (though i didnt fall asleep til hrs later) made me want to dance in some way but i tend 2 b too selfconscious to dance alone

Sun, Jan 30 '22 - 6:21PM [lfm]

kick iii n kick iiii verdict: were ok enough as albums but just stashing away some standout songs for later possible rotation we shall see

Fri, Jan 28 '22 - 10:02PM [lfm]

also been mildly down with what might be covid, because my parents are positive too. tho mostly been a sore throat, but i feel like it's finally letting up

Fri, Jan 28 '22 - 10:00PM [lfm]

might be finally starting to digest arca's newer kicks. i was too much in ecco mode when they dropped but feel some sort of lull coming rn

kick ii verdict: i vibe with the whole thing really

Fri, Jan 28 '22 - 12:42AM [lfm]

selfconcsious, need to be offline touch some grass

hungry also

Thu, Jan 27 '22 - 10:06AM [lfm]

sometimes cute 2 behold excited ppl

Thu, Jan 27 '22 - 9:46AM [lfm]

im having exposure to russian-language hyperpop type stuff rn from some1 who joined the server i mainly frequent not even 24 hrs ago or something

Thu, Jan 27 '22 - 9:43AM [lfm]

discord spotify listen-alongs can b fun

Tue, Jan 25 '22 - 2:04PM [lfm]

listening thru rogue intruder soul enhancer by oli xl for the umpteenth time, over a while

some part of me has categorized a lot of oli's music as music for cloudy weather (the debut ep definitely is, listened to that before too), but right now with mostly clear sky and sun mostly out the album still feels perfect and feel like itd be in any weather

currently on mimetic

Sun, Jan 23 '22 - 2:21PM [lfm]

but a lot of effort to try figure out what might b worth to keep

Sun, Jan 23 '22 - 2:12PM [lfm]

room full of clutter

Sun, Jan 23 '22 - 12:11PM [lfm]

head full of noise

Sat, Jan 22 '22 - 6:47AM [lfm]

vaguely profound dream. hold tht thought

Sat, Jan 22 '22 - 12:43AM [lfm]

a trenchcoat of sneeks

Fri, Jan 21 '22 - 10:17PM [lfm]

helped someone remember the name of a track (based on a wrong-chords-right-rhythm main melody recon + a couple clues), makes me happy

Tue, Jan 18 '22 - 12:27AM [lfm]

full moon, currently...

Tue, Jan 18 '22 - 12:26AM [lfm]

i guess i might be continuing to gawk at this bc its been a longer while since i was this fulltilt into a music artist (my peak moa pillar hogwild fan time in terms of listening was 2017), im savouring the relative newness

Tue, Jan 18 '22 - 12:24AM [lfm]

or maybe less than somewhat.

my lastfm has ridiculous amounts of ecco as of late

Mon, Jan 17 '22 - 1:40AM [lfm]

at least somewhat.

Mon, Jan 17 '22 - 1:36AM [lfm]

my taste so lost in the drain its in the whole sewage, the whole pipework, the whole network

Fri, Jan 14 '22 - 5:44AM [lfm]

actually that exchange is tied w this one i just beheld:

"hmmmmmm... should I discog run arca later in the year"

"do it sooner than later before she drops another four albums"

"shit!"

Fri, Jan 14 '22 - 5:41AM [lfm]

paying respects in january 2022 to my january 2017 self being full tilt into moa pillar by being full tilt into ecco2k.........my thoughts page and whoever beholds this will simply just have to cope and seethe

Fri, Jan 14 '22 - 5:37AM [lfm]

fav exchange of tonight: i share a snippet to a friend of ecco performing pollen live, the friend goes like 'oh. my. god. is this heaven. what song is this??' (pollen, i answer) 'i think you just showed me my fav ecco track'

Thu, Jan 13 '22 - 4:54PM [lfm]

was lookin at the dusk sky for some time from living room window, nice gradient, a few tufts of cloud drifting by quite quick. mom asked if somethin was happenin outside, i was like, just clouds. sometimes nothing much happening can b beautiful n blissful too

time to make food

Thu, Jan 13 '22 - 3:24PM [lfm]

my whole . mmy whole being is a stupid little butterfly sanctuary rn

my silly self waxing poetic

Wed, Jan 12 '22 - 8:45PM [lfm]

chilled in a vc for like 7 hrs today and then proceeded to plop a merch shirt into an animal crossing new horizons custom design type thing. productive day innit !!

Tue, Jan 11 '22 - 11:35PM [lfm]

also nice n blissful (perfectlystill [gemstone1], also by ecco)

ambient-adjacent ecco my ultimate weakness, these days... or at least on some moments, such as tonight

Tue, Jan 11 '22 - 11:33PM [lfm]

it's v nice n blissful, the tune and the vid

re video: never have played sonic adventure 2 or suchlike so have never actually got to interact w chao but they seem like cute creatures

Tue, Jan 11 '22 - 11:15PM [lfm]

no thoughts in my head. only eccology by ecco2k

Mon, Jan 10 '22 - 12:42PM [lfm]

the buns of the local hospital's cafe slap. got a couple cinnamon rolls and a couple wiener bun type things. rly nice. and i'm feeling fine after the jab rn

Mon, Jan 10 '22 - 2:20AM [lfm]

i shouldve looked at city bus times before booking booster jab appt

Sun, Jan 09 '22 - 1:05PM [lfm]

also yesterday i ended up buying a longsleeved shirt and a 2000piece jigsaw puzzle

Sun, Jan 09 '22 - 1:04PM [lfm]

still gotta give my damn eyes a break, after sleep

Sun, Jan 09 '22 - 3:07AM [lfm]

part of me wanna listen to sad music but my eyes hurt and by extension my ears want rest

Sun, Jan 09 '22 - 3:05AM [lfm]

thinkin back on last august

once the now former crush and i intentionally severed contact it freed up the mindspace to truly be on my bullshit

Fri, Jan 07 '22 - 7:00PM [lfm]

got paid today also so theres that adding to the decadence a little too, in addition to the break (tho i did punt most of it right into savings)

gonna get boosterjabbed on monday too, hope my body wont be too much like 'wtf ? ? ?' at it (got the j jab like 7 months ago, i was fine from that besides a lil tiredness which mightve also been bc of other stuff, and soreness at the site)

and sometime next week a cereal nite type vidcall/chat w a friend (again tho 1st one was months ago lol, and yes we did simply chill, n eat cereal) bc why not >:)

Fri, Jan 07 '22 - 6:56PM [lfm]

feeling decadent, might go out for pizza tomorrow after work ends for lunch (sat workdays til 2pm. and then ill have a week off work), then might peep the clothes selection at the like. mall thing. or whatever. the one thats technically part of the same branch of the chain/co-op the shop i work at belongs to also (and which is not far from it) so i could get employees discount there >:)

Tue, Jan 04 '22 - 11:02PM [lfm]

ok it can be a semiforbidden stim toy on other levels too

Tue, Jan 04 '22 - 8:59AM [lfm]

monky brain wants to try eject a different much less valuable cd from e's ejector case at full force. i will sit at work w this thought all day probably

Tue, Jan 04 '22 - 7:05AM [lfm]

IT'S HERE IT'S HERE i can fetch it omw to work !!

Tue, Jan 04 '22 - 6:45AM [lfm]

the current mystery: will the parcel with ✨the cd✨ be dropped in post office or parcel machine. will find out today or tomorrow. cant wait

Tue, Jan 04 '22 - 12:20AM [lfm]

looking at a persons lastfm account just as they r listening to a couple tracks off an album u introduced to em the other day = +10 serotonin or whatever

Mon, Jan 03 '22 - 11:58PM [lfm]

today been a feast

Mon, Jan 03 '22 - 3:48PM [lfm]

i guess ill mop the floor around nowish n then count the cash register n then just continue fooling (and customering as needed) til closing

Mon, Jan 03 '22 - 3:47PM [lfm]

the sheer trust the manager of the shop has in me is somewhat extremely a vibe lol, im workin alone all week while shes on break this week (n then vice versa next week), its extremely calm here this time of year so im mostly just vibing to music from 1 earbud (while radio plays from aux) and fooling around on a dragon pet site type thing (flight rising)

Sat, Jan 01 '22 - 5:09PM [lfm]

checking thru some of my backlog, but punted some familiar shit into the midst of an album listenthrough bc felt like listenin to a couple certain bladee songs while beholding early dusk

skramz to some songs off exeter by bladee n back to skramz is a fun twist

Sat, Jan 01 '22 - 2:16AM [lfm]

tiktok this tiktok that. i only know mechatok

(was gna tweet this but i dont know if id like it 2 b searchable)

Fri, Dec 31 '21 - 6:47PM [lfm]

heartbreak is fine kindling for a good drain

a friend of mine after i said the ashes of a figuratively burnt down crushstate made way for me being rly into drain gang

Fri, Dec 31 '21 - 1:39AM [lfm]

the lil harmonizing in cartoon smile by oli xl feels like the audio equivalent of a most comforting hug

Fri, Dec 31 '21 - 1:31AM [lfm]

clawing at these walls of the self n of some particular loneliness or whatever it is

Fri, Dec 31 '21 - 1:26AM [lfm]

nvm i guess ive hit some point of mental exhaustion rn im not feelin too hot

itll pass

Thu, Dec 30 '21 - 10:32PM [lfm]

ive been listening to the same snip of bladee harmonizing for what must be at least a combined 6 hours total the past couple of days or something. had it going on (manual) loop for 4 hours from one earbud yesterday while i was at work. its very pretty.

Thu, Dec 30 '21 - 10:28PM [lfm]

strange that i have low mental energy these days but dont seem to be unhappy w things as they are rn?

me getting stuck on looping songs/albums a bunch must be a manifestation of it. and not having much energy for longer out-of-the-blue dming with ppl one on one (a lil ye but been more barebones on my end mostly esp w my best friend heh).

and not having much energy for actively playing animal crossing rn. i guess a break from that would b nice and freeing. been wanting to chip away at ecco the dolphin some more (have got to the point where i gotta fetch the asterite's missing orb)

and been wanting to deal with the state of my room, and been wanting to pick up handicrafts again more actively but i would have to at least temporarily drop something else to have the mental energy to do that. been on discord too much anyway i feel. and at this point i dont think cutting some of it would make me feel as lonely as some part of me thinks it would. will see how to proceed i guess.

Mon, Dec 27 '21 - 7:29AM [lfm]

had the most frictionless wakeup-to-oatmeal process today. (my cat yelled for food, waking me up at squarely 6am, and i found myself to be awfully hungry too)

Sun, Dec 26 '21 - 11:01PM [lfm]

also i did manage to make and decorate all the gingerbreads yesterday which was really nice. and went n had some fun in the snow today which was also really nice.

Sun, Dec 26 '21 - 11:00PM [lfm]

my active taste in an ecco chamber right now fr

Sun, Dec 26 '21 - 10:58PM [lfm]

another one on the horizon possibly, ive been listening to killer bee remix of calcium by ecco for like 13 times in a row now and the person has some music of their own which im now inclined to check out too. who knows tho. but the damn remix slaps.

Sat, Dec 25 '21 - 4:18PM [lfm]

gonna try get around to making gingerbreads today from the dough i made a few days ago. have a fuckton of icing too which might be fun

Sat, Dec 25 '21 - 4:15PM [lfm]

was in bed for like around 14 hours or something mostly sleeping, guess i needed it. might be a silent day today, dont even know where my parents are rn. nice n peaceful n quiet over the holidays for once

(have had one of my bros come over w his wife n their 2 small kids the past couple/few xmases but not this time which is really nice)

Fri, Dec 24 '21 - 2:07PM [lfm]

merry christmas to everyone and in particular that one swiss person on discogs (re)selling the ecco2k e cd because fuck it i bought it bc i was feeling kind and my wallet could manage it

Thu, Dec 23 '21 - 2:44PM [lfm]

oh also a couple songs on e by ecco r yves prod i forgot to mention that connection [not that it much matters to most that may stumble here but still >:)]

and tbf i rly like both of em

anyway time to continue chilling at work i guess

Thu, Dec 23 '21 - 2:21PM [lfm]

tho maybe ill put on some ecco from my earbuds later too. sometimes i impress myself in how much repeat value im able to find in some stuff. built different.

Thu, Dec 23 '21 - 2:20PM [lfm]

is my mind musically just orbiting drain/ecco2k-but-only-adjacent-to-them realms rn (ecco's opened for some yves shows; the pre-oxhy new-discovery type obsession was a mechatok album and mecha has produced for dg...). yes, yes it might be. not complaining tho

might screw around and shove my local files on shuffle again while at work (or while at home) some fine time tho to kick up some more dust

Thu, Dec 23 '21 - 2:14PM [lfm]

current mild obsesh: safe in the hands of love by yves tumor (feel like i might slowly make my way thru each of their releases n savouring em i guess ! but who knows where the hell my brain will take me next)

economy of freedom (1 of the songs off that) made me cry a lil the other nite bc the lyrics touched some dormant feelings-stuff within me

Tue, Dec 21 '21 - 6:32AM [lfm]

very unideal amount of sleep

Mon, Dec 20 '21 - 1:02PM [lfm]

tho on the other hand it can get kind of lonely on solo workdays

Sun, Dec 19 '21 - 6:43PM [lfm]

i guess i like knowing which workdays im on my own on bc during lunch break ill have to entirely close shop for the half an hr and then i can loudly sing along to a bit of music bc nobody to overhear me, unlike at home n on non-alone workdays

Sat, Dec 18 '21 - 10:51PM [lfm]

ive been doing some private thought-venting on a private twitter acc bc i use a 3rd party twit client app thing on my phone thats kinda nice n light (sure it doesnt support dms and stuff LMAO but nonetheless i like it) (twidere btw) and can spit out the thoughts at instant.

wondering how my thoughts might split btwn here n there...

Sat, Dec 18 '21 - 10:47PM [lfm]

been kind of obsessed w this ep (rights of spring by oxhy) laaaaargely bc of the song w the ecco2k feature but the whole thing has nice broody vibes

Sat, Dec 18 '21 - 10:17PM [lfm]

[gently prods at this text box] ok lets go. lets see. lets Experiment


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