🌱 sneek thoughts

(me at myself, referencing a tiktok a friend once sent)

you are on the spectrummmmm and yknow what thats Fine. its completely fine that youre on the spectrummmm

also i have fresh bedsheets and bee plushie now. small things. tomorrrrrow i might want tooooo... check acnh in the morning. eat breakfast (or brunch depending on when i get up). rearrange some clothes into the lil hanging organizer. try clear out surfaces a bit...

rift xl in two weeks.

well to be fair my mental integrity's also been challenged by other shit anyway in a sense. maybe i'd be more resilient in the face of such. or maybe it'd exacerbate. or both? and either way reminders of one's own mortality etc be making me want to punt all the unnecessary bullshit soooooooo far away u feel me. mostly really just too wrapped up in the everyday to do this type of clean(s)ing... plus some of the fundamentally unnecessary to me shit might still be necessary for societal smoothness purposes or whatever the fuck and im not immune to being a social being

anyway

i cant even pass judgement on mfs grieving celeb type ppl cos i recognize that some be caring bout em on some human level even while onesidedly and if the same shit were to happen to some not celeb but still more known person that i care about shit could BREAK me on some mildly fundamental level depending on exactly who

touch wood

in light of things: thinking about when i caught a certain oli xl do a set in june '22, he went like thank you for coming!! at me (was my 2nd time catching) and i way too quietly, w/o him hearing it im sure, went like thank you for being how silly but also how true in a sense

i'd say i shoulda been louder but i guess my goof-ass appreciation speaks for itself. but also thank u for being

be realistic

new stand mixer, noticed just earlier. could be enhancing

may the mfs in the planes above clouds enjoy the damn aurora rn if its in their view cos below clouds it is obviously Fucking Cloudy lol

note to self: ::selection pseudoelement :-o

ikea skogsduva collection is out for my ass what the FUCK 🥹 the bees.......the otter with bby....need

hey.

i really want out of here (i.e. where i live atm) it's too much for me in the longterm it's gonna make me wither if i stay here too much longer. but i'd feel bad for my cat it's so fucking stupid

hey.

it's all noise it's all noise it's all noise

it's all noise!!!!!!!!!!!!

morning to-do:

unplug desk lamp, breakfast, clean litter box.

i would also say towel but i won't be needing accomms (event goes on til morning) and think i'll manage with transient toiletgoings and little bit of papertowel situationry chucked in with hygienestuffs.

and i would also say book but the couple of unread books i've got from library are a little too bulky for light packing. though maybe i'll find something light from tallinn airport selfservice "library" (w books free to take) :-)

oh also: spare small plastic bag or two (for trash or whatnot).

to pack (for copenhagen weekend trip):

charger incl cable, power bank, little bit food/snack (pistachios?), fishermans friend pastilles, spare sockpair (unless i grab the socks to darn) & undiepair, the fuck-all monopoly money to exchange back. maybe the socks to darn during waits and the yarn n needle and some round enough object in lieu of darning mushroom. phone and wallet ofc. earplugs. toothbrush, toothpaste alongside the lil hygienestuffs lot (hand sanitizer, few strepsils, w/e else in the bag). wired earbuds just in case, alongside wireless. pen/pencil and the lil notebook, maybe the sudoku book too. small water bottle if i can muster it into the small bag?

to-do:

fix up the wired earbuds, charge the powerbank. check in to flight tmrw (ofc). clear out the wallet a little accordingly, pack in lil squares for paper crane folding. actually pack the stuff tmrw evening (maybe can do w shoulderbag).

how to dress:

hoodie + jacket, maybe grab square scarf. cap i guess, not cold enough for fullblown earflap hat, and i got the hoodie. boots cos no other footwear of mine is sufficiently waterproof. p.s. dont forget to take belt off at security.

final resting place for a bee

gonna try to get rid of these monopoly money ass russian roubles once im traversing thru tallinn next weekend for the copenhagen trip. will have decent enough amount of time i won't have to rely on the airport currency exchange point

want to go outside in the night, maybe

my eyes hurt / seen the moon

randomly woke up. entirely (almost) silent. dark outside. peaceful

he is producing (plants, fruits, vegetables)

one of my fav things a friend has said to me about oli xl (when i showed them what ive been calling the ghent unrelease cos i first heard and recorded a snip of it from the ghent oli dj set)

ok im normal.

but also kind of evokes that one quote ive seen about making a mistake in (yarn)craft projects intentionally to ward off evil spirits or some shit. have that quote stashed away somewhere but yet to look thru its source

d'yall think oli xl leaves those little occasional typos in the setdates list in intentionally just to get perfectionist mfs seething a little (its me part of me is perfectionist mfs 😂) (but maybe also himself ?)

or maybe bro simply dont Care

making a choice

feeling restless

i keep missing the moon

on the toilet, [clothes?] moth lands on my phone out of nowhere

sometimes i don't know what to do with all this feeling, in this particular case

it lives its own life, and i've gone off about it a lot, but still, still

deeply grateful

feels like home

radiant